Page 121 of A Game of Lies

‘Dave spent the day with a dog trainer at the rescue centre on Thursday. We’ve got a lot of homework to do, so I took some holiday. I’ve still got ten days left and I thought …’ Ffion chews the inside of her cheek. ‘I thought I might spend them here.’

Leo blinks.

‘With you.’

She has a bag with her, Leo realises, dumped behind Dave.

‘But you’re busy.’

‘I’m not really that busy, actually.’

‘So …’ Ffion picks up her bag.

‘You’d like to be with me for ten whole days?’ Leo wants to be absolutely certain he understands what Ffion is saying. He has a strong feeling this is a pivotal moment in their – can he call it a relationship? Fuck it, he’s going to. A pivotal moment in their relationship.

‘Yes.’ Ffion exhales.

‘Just ten days?’ Leo says.

A slow smile spreads across Ffion’s face. ‘For now.’ She picks up her bag and pulls the strap over one shoulder. Automatically, Leo steps back to let her inside, then he stops.

‘No.’

‘What?’ The colour seeps from Ffion’s face.

‘No,’ Leo says quietly. There’s a beat, as he tries to marshal his thoughts into something that will make sense for them both. ‘I can’t do this.’

‘Do what?’

‘Let you into my life, only for you to run out again because you’re scared.’

Ffion laughs. ‘I’m not—’

‘Yes, you are. Scared of getting close to anyone. Scared of saying how you feel. And I get that, I do, but it isn’t fair, Ffi. I’m not putting myself through that.’

‘Why are you being like this?’ Ffion blinks rapidly. ‘This isn’t you.’

Leo leaves a beat. ‘I guess I grew that spine you said I needed.’

Ffion opens her mouth to say something, then closes it again. She gives a curt nod, then turns and walks away. Every fibre of Leo wants to call out to her, but he makes himself close the door and he presses his palms to the wall until he trusts himself not to open it again. He’s done the right thing, he knows he has, so why does he feel so shit?

He goes to the bathroom and washes his face, then gets changed and puts on his trainers. He’ll go to the gym and punch the fuck out of a bag, then he’ll shower and meet the lads for beers, and he’ll get so wasted he won’t think about Ffion Morgan or the fact that he just let her walk out of his life.

When Leo opens the front door a few minutes later, he sees Ffion’s car parked on the road. He can’t see Ffion herself, because Dave is sitting upright on the passenger seat with one paw on the dashboard, looking like he’s about to break out a picnic.

Leo walks past the Triumph, his gym bag over one shoulder. He hears the car door open, hears footsteps running after him, but he keeps walking. He’s done the right thing. He’s been pushed around in relationships before, and if Ffion can’t even say how she feels, then—

‘I love you.’

Leo stops. His heart’s pounding faster than it does in any workout, and he wonders if it would be safer to keep walking. He wonders if he misheard, because it didn’t even sound like Ffion; it’s not something he ever imagined her saying.

She says it again. Louder, this time.

Leo turns around.

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