Page 119 of A Game of Lies

‘More than this.’ Seren sweeps an arm across their view: the mountain they’ve climbed, the lake deep in the valley. ‘I’m suffocating here.’

Ffion turns to Mam. ‘Did you know about this?’

‘I did.’

‘So I’m the last to know, am I?’

‘She tried to tell you, Ffi,’ Elen says gently.

Ffion colours, because she knows it’s true. ‘And you’re okay with it?’

‘She’s nearly eighteen.’

‘Eighteen’s nothing,’ Ffion says. ‘Anything could happen to her in London.’

Mam puts an arm around Ffion and draws her close. She presses a kiss on to the top of Ffion’s head. ‘Things happen in Cwm Coed too,’ she murmurs.

Ffion can’t argue with that. She reaches for Seren’s hand, and the three women sit in silence as the early evening sun streaks the valley with gold.

‘I get it,’ Ffion says at last. ‘Small towns can be claustrophobic.’ It’s why Ffion spends so much time outdoors – at the lake, or up a mountain. Sometimes she feels as though she only breathes properly when she’s away from Cwm Coed.

‘I think it’s a good thing,’ Mam says. She nudges Ffion. ‘Maybe it would be good for you, too.’

‘London?’ Ffion makes a face.

‘Anywhere. You don’t have to stay in Cwm Coed just because I’m here.’

‘I’m not,’ Ffion says. ‘I stay because …’ Why does she stay? Because she’s always been here, she supposes. Because she tried leaving once before and she didn’t like it.

Because Seren was here.

As they walk back down, Ffion’s head is rattling. Malik thinks she’s too closely entwined with everyone here, yet when Seren wanted to talk to her Ffion had been too focused on work to listen. Should she move away from Cwm Coed? She imagines speaking to people without the shadow of her childhood – without the hangover of her wild teenage years. She imagines responding to jobs without the worry of finding an ex-boyfriend or a best friend at the scene; imagines how easy it would be to simply do her job and do it well. Cwm Coed isn’t going anywhere, after all: Ffion can come home whenever she wants, and when she does, she won’t be distracted by work.

And yet.

Moving away means leaving Mam. It means walking down a street without a dozenTi’n iawns from people Ffion’s known all her life. It means leaving Pen y Ddraig and the shimmering waters of Llyn Drych. No more jobs that cross the border of England and Wales, with all the challenges they bring.

No more Leo.

Maybe that’s a good thing?

By the time they reach the village, Ffion knows what she has to do.

The hardest thing in the world.

FIFTY-THREE

SATURDAY | LEO

Leo has been for a run, had breakfast and cleaned the kitchen, and it isn’t yet ten o’clock. It’s Allie’s turn to have Harris, and Leo knows he should be making the most of an empty weekend, but he finds himself drifting about the house, missing his little buddy. Being a detective sergeant is so demanding – the job spilling into evenings and weekends – that it always makes Leo feel his life is bursting at the seams. Then they wrap up a big case and there’s finally space to breathe, and life should feel good, but instead it feels empty.

Last night, Leo called Gayle.

‘It’s been really lovely getting to know you,’ he said, because sometimes lies are kinder than the truth. ‘But I don’t think it’s going to work between us.’

‘I know, you’re a busy man. Hard to pin down!’ Gayle laughed. ‘How about breakfast tomorrow? I’ll come to yours, and we can take it back to bed.’

‘I don’t think so.’

---