Page 111 of Wood You Rather?

“I’m conflicted,” I said, finally breaking the silence.

Liv frowned. “Babe, I’m here to help. Anything you need. Is the sex bad? Better come home with me tomorrow, then. No use sticking around for bad dick.”

“No, it’s not bad at all.”

“You seem pretty upset for someone getting good dick on the regular.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, already regretting what I was about to tell her. “Book sex,” I said softly.

“Book sex? For real?”

I nodded. Yes. That was the best way to describe it. Sex with Paz? It was the desperate, sweaty, can’t get enough, have to have you kind of sex. And our connection? It was like I needed him as badly as I needed my next breath. Where being separated was painful, and the sound of his voice alone instantly made my day better.

“Oh shit. They serve booze in this place? Mama needs a cocktail.” She scanned the diner, probably searching for Bernice, who, in typical fashion, had dropped our plates of food and disappeared.

“You found yourself a real-life unicorn? A guy who fucks you like a book boyfriend. Like you’re the most desirable woman on Planet Earth, and he will drop dead if he’s not inside you, giving you orgasm after orgasm?”

I nodded and smiled weakly. “Pretty much.”

“Okay. This is what you need to do.” She sat up straight and locked her gaze on me. “You have to marry him. Does this Podunk town have a jewelry store? Let’s go buy a ring so you canlock it downimmediately.”

“Stop it. You know I don’t want to get married. And I don’t know if these feelings are real or only the result of being orgasm drunk for the last two weeks.”

“You’re clearly in love with him. You just don’t want to admit it because then you’d have to deal with all your baggage and trust issues.”

I glared at her. Once again, Liv saw right through my shit. It was a quality I usually loved, but was it too much to ask for her to go along with my delusions and let me pretend I hadn’t fallen in love with Paz?

“You know,” she said, looking out the front window of the diner. “I’ve changed my mind. I love it here. You should move here. Ride that good lumberdick and live happily ever after.” With a sad smile, she cupped my cheek. “I’ll miss you, but I’ll never stand in the way of true love and earth-shattering orgasms.”

Liv was right, as always. If this was it, if this was the real deal, then I’d have to consider moving here. This town, the business, they were part of Paz’s DNA, no matter how much he tried to deny it. And I would never take that away from him. Relationships may have been strained, but his family was here, and they loved him. This town supported him more than he realized. Not being lucky enough to have had that myself, I could see how rare and precious it was.

Clearing my throat, I braced myself, ready to be the most honest I’d ever been. I’d put it out there, tell Liv that I wanted to try for real.

But before I could, the bells above the door chimed, and in walked Mitch Hebert. The motherfucker in the flesh.

“You okay?” Liv asked, her eyes swimming with concern.

I nodded woodenly as ideas churned in my head. This was the opening I had been waiting for. While not strictly legal, and certainly not admissible, a plan had been brewing in my mind for some time. And the Apple AirTag I had purchased a couple of weeks ago was beckoning from the depths of my purse.

I eyed Liv. “Can you create a diversion?”

She nodded and grinned. “Always.”

“Good.” I grabbed my purse and headed toward the ladies’ room, hoping to slip out the kitchen door. I was halfway across the dining room when a crash echoed around the space. Liv could always be counted on to amp up the drama.

I waited until Bernice and her husband, Louie, rushed out of the kitchen to check on the commotion, then slipped out the back and crept along the side of the building. It was hard to be stealth in broad daylight, but I worked with what I was given. Naturally, Mitch had parked right in front of the diner in a handicap spot. That alone warranted a one-way ticket to hell. Never mind the rest of his shit.

It only made it more fun to turn on the AirTag, sync it to my phone, and place it on the rear bumper of his giant white Mercedes. With any luck, this baby would help me collect enough evidence to put him away for a long stretch.

Once it was secured, I scurried along the back wall of the building and slipped back inside, then casually strode through to the dining room.

As promised, Liv had captivated the entire diner. She was sitting in a booth, surrounded by a crowd of people, with a damp towel over her brow and a glass of water in her hand. Dylan Markey was front and center, clearly digging the damsel in distress act. I could have sworn he had a girlfriend, but I’d be shocked if Liv didn’t walk away from this ordeal with his number.

I gave her a wink, which prompted her rapid recovery, and thanked everyone for their kindness as I ushered her back to our booth.

“You are frighteningly good at that,” I said.

“We all have our strengths, bestie.”

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