Page 45 of Sanctuary with Kings

"You're leaving," I guessed.

Conall turned to me, tired smile crooked and half-hearted. "I am."

"And if he decides to follow you?"

Conall shook his head. "He wants to stay.Iwant to stay. But I will be sure to return at the first opportunity and Asterion would stall."

"I'm safe here with Laszlo and Hywel," I said, shrugging, not entirely convinced that two men who argued over the right to leave the castle and avoid my company were struggling with themselves so very much. It was one thing to claim noble intentions, but I would've preferred the intention toremain with me.

No, that wasn't right. I didn't want their commitment—I'd said as much already. I just needednéktarand relief.

Conall didn't answer me, and his eyes glowed spring green in the dark for a moment. He stepped forward, and in spite of my irritation I still wanted to be touched, calmed from the nightmare. I sank into his chest and sighed as his hands slid inside of the robe and stroked up my back through my nightdress.

"You are safe. Unless Birsha somehow rallied all his allies to arrive here, the woods let them through, and Hywel slept through the attack. It's unlikely, but it's not a risk any of us want to gamble. Laszlo is strong, but even he can be outnumbered. Even Asterion can when fighting alone." Conall turned his head, his nose brushing aside my loose strands of hair to graze a kiss against my ear. "You needus."

And yet you and Asterion bicker over who will leave me first.

"I should let the dragon's scent linger," Conall murmured, nuzzling down to my jaw, lips plucking along my skin. He stepped closer, hips pressing to mine. "But I hate knowing you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry," I said.

I was…something, but my emotions weren't familiar to me lately, didn't match the ones I'd knownbeforeBirsha. Some days I stood at the edge of hysteria, a scream clawing in my throat, a wild violence racing through me. Other days, the only thing that got me out of bed was not wanting to fall back into a nightmare.

"You look tired," Conall continued, nosing into my hair, palms circling over my back. "I could take you back to bed."

"No," I answered, fast and sharp. Conall jerked back, and it was my turn to clutch him to me. "I just woke. I don't—I can't—"

"I understand," he said. His parted lips pressed below the corner of my jaw, tongue swirling over the spot as I arched into him.

"And you're leaving," I reminded him in a ragged whisper.

"Not for hours," Conall breathed.

And if Asterion beats you to the exit? I wondered, but Conall's hands slid down, gently groping my ass before catching the backs of my thighs. He lifted me, my legs opening at the familiar interruption of his body between them.

"I try to remind myself that the others would be better for you in the long run," Conall said. He didn't take us back up the stairs, but to the right, into a cool, unfamiliar corridor.

"I wish you wouldn't speak of the future that way. I don't have it in me to consider much beyond a day or a week," I admitted.

I was too tired to cling to frustration or resentment, and Conall's hair smelled like the meadows we lay in together, and like the sweet, leathery tobacco leaves he pinched between his fingers and pressed into a pipe after dinner.

"I've lived too long to make plans when I know how well they can be destroyed in a moment, or how much can change in a matter of minutes, or how long a life might live beating against stagnancy," I said.

Conall turned into a small room, a parlor with a few chairs, one long couch under a broad window, and a bright fire burning behind a screen. His expression was illuminated once more, face lifted to study me.

I helped myself to brushing his hair back, strands gliding through my fingers.

"I can barely hold onto joy from one moment to the next, and pleasure is stolen as quickly as it comes. Deny me for your own sake, but not for mine," I said, adding privately,I need you.

It was selfish and base. At some time, Conall would've been exactly the kind of lover I sought out, spent years with, but I wasn't that woman any longer. I was as cavernous as Hywel's hoard, but without the treasure. The nightmares sapped me of the little strength I gained, and all I wanted was to feast endlessly on Conall's attention until he withered away in the wake of my demand.

Deny me, I thought to Conall, wanted to plead.

My hunger made me into something like Hywel's vast and toothy maw, his open gullet and waiting belly. I would devour the Red Wolf until he pried my jaws open and made his escape.

"I'm sorry now that I wasted days," Conall whispered, lifting his chin.

I bit at his lips, licked at his groan, tangled his hair in my fingers. "But you'll leave before morning."

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