Page 7 of Girl Going Nowhere

He watches me stir my dinner. “I don’t like fighting with you. I wasn’t judging you for anything, I was trying to…”

When his words fade, I glance up from my food at him. He’s staring intently at his chicken sandwich for a few seconds before leaning back in his seat. “I was trying to figure out why you’d go out with guys who weren’t me.”

My shoulders lock at the admission from him that I’ve never thought about before. I must have heard him wrong. “What?”

Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he nods and loosens a sigh before meeting my shocked eyes. “You know what I think about you as a person. I tell you all the time—”

“Because you’re my friend,” I quickly say.

His lips twitch at the panic in my tone. “Yeah, we’re friends. But haven’t you thought about the possibility of being more? We get along. I love your daughter. We’ve got a lot going for us.”

My appetite vanishes as I lower my spoon onto the napkin beside my soup. “I’m not following here.You’rethe one who insisted there be a hands-off agreement between roommates once I signed on the dotted line and moved in. I love that you love Maia, and I adore you too. But…”

He doesn’t need me to tell him I don’t lovehim. There are some feelings you can’t force, and that’s a big one.

His fingers swipe through his hair, messing up the once-perfectly styled strands. “That’s because I knew if I didn’t, one of the guys would make a pass at you. I’ve seen how Brodie is with you. I just… I wanted to be selfish for once. If I couldn’t have you, they definitely couldn’t either.”

Unbelievable.“Come on, Finn. Neither of them would try to—”

“How many times does Brodie flirt with you on a regular basis?” he deadpans. “If he had the chance, he’d make a move. Trust me, I know my cousin. And just because Dante seems laid-back and nonchalant about most things doesn’t mean he’s a saint. We’re dudes. We see a beautiful woman and our instinct is to act on it. Put her in close proximity, and it makes things complicated.”

I wave my hand at him. “Exactly! Which is why we agreed that any type of relationship, physical or other, was off-limits. Look what our fight did. It made things awkward for everybody.”

“That’s because you were avoiding me.”

“You deserved it,” I counter. How dare he put all the blame on me? “I’d already been having a bad week. You insinuating I open my legs for everybody with a dick wasn’t exactly a great way to end it.”

His cheeks tint as a couple gives us a disapproving look from a table over. “I already told you I didn’t mean it like that.” He picks up his sandwich and stares at it before setting it back down on the wrapper it came in. “It’s been hard seeing you go out with guys when I’ve always wanted to be in their shoes. I was jealous, and I said shit I shouldn’t have. But you’re right. I’m no better.”

I drop my hands into my lap and try to process this conversation. “Are you saying that you like me?”

He blinks slowly, cheeks tinting. “If you’re still confused about that, clearly I’m failing miserably at my intentions here.”

Hisintentions? Oh, Finn…

Wetting my dry lips, I sit back in my seat and study him. There’s no real reason why I wouldn’t date him. He’s attractive. Sweet. Respects me. Still, my gut is telling me not to play that game.

Because there’s something about Finn that I can’t put my finger on. And I’m not sure why that nagging feeling is there, but it’s one I plan on listening to.

“It’s a lot to take in. You’re a great guy. But we live together and living together and seeing each other is a bad idea. If that’s what you’re even implying.”

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Trying to… What else would I be getting at, Blake?”

I point out the obvious. “Neither one of us has exactly been known for getting into serious relationships. You barely date. You never talk about the girls you do go out with when it does happen. And before you go spewing bullshit about me choosing guys who never want to settle down, I’m going to stop you. I’ve never openly went after anybody,especiallyafter Maia was born, if I knew I was setting myself up for failure. I definitely wasn’t going out with them for the sake of getting off. Even if I thought about it.”

The couple beside us grumble under their breaths before taking their food and moving elsewhere with narrowed gazes.

I focus back on myfriendandroommate.“It isn’t easy dating when you’re a single mom, especially under the circumstances Maia was born, and I don’t expect you to understand that. While I get why you’d make certain… assumptions about my intentions with guys, I’mnotthat girl anymore. I can’t be. I’ve done nothing but try being the best version of myself possible ever since I found out I was pregnant. But when it comes time to tell a guy about her, it never usually goes well.”

“Then they’re jackasses,” Finn declares.

I shrug. “Yeah, some of them. But they’re human too. I wouldn’t want to get involved with a single dad. It’s a lot of pressure. You’re not just bringing one person into your life you’re bringing their kid too. Then there’s possible parental drama depending on the situation. Obviously, with me, that’s not so much the issue. But the explanation of it all, the mystery, the secret, it’s an added layer of baggage that most people don’t want. I don’t judge them for feeling the same way I probably would in their shoes.”

Finn is quiet, hopefully contemplating everything I’m saying. Things I don’t openly talk about with any of the guys. They have their own lives, their own drama and needs and baggage. The last thing they need is mine.

“What I need most in my life is stability for Maia. She comes first. Always. Everything I’ve ever done for her since she was placed into my arms is figure out how to make her life the best it can possibly be. Ineedthat apartment. The space. The security. At least until I can finish saving up for my own space for Maia and me.”

“I would never make you move out if anything bad happened with you and anybody at the apartment. We’re all old enough to be mature about shit.”

---