Page 55 of Girl Going Nowhere

She points toward the second person in the image, tapping the silk dress. “I bought you that. You were worried that you couldn’t afford something nice for Emily’s wedding, so I took money out ofmysavings to get you something appropriate.”

Appropriate.I seem to recall things differently. I’d packed one of my favorite pink dresses that she disapproved of, so she went out and bought me the green one featured in this. It was beautiful and probably the first time I saw her look at me like she used to when I was little. With love and approval.

“It’s flattering you think I could grab some rich dude’s attention, but it’s not true.” I play with Maia’s hair, trying to tame it.

Unfortunately, my mother doesn’t quit. “He’s married, Blake.”

“Good for him,” I grind out.

The sound rising from her throat doesn’t sound promising. “I know you. As much as I wish you weren’t, you’re self-destructive and have been since you were a teenager. Sleeping with a married man sounds right up your alley if you ask me.”

It’s hard not reacting to that. I doubt it’s common for mothers to call their daughters home-wreckers, but here we are.

I take a deep breath and say the only safe thing I can think of. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” I tickle my little girl’s side, smiling when she laughs. “Ready to go, Maia girl?”

She nods, rubbing one of her eyes. “I tired, Mama. Sleepy.”

I peck her cheek and glance casually back at my mother. “Me too. We’ll go home and curl up with your favorite book. How does that sound?”

Maia nuzzles into my neck. “Red is apples,” is her only reply. Which means the entire drive home, I’ll hear her tell me all about what colors other objects are. It could be worse, I guess.

“Thanks again for watching her,” I tell my mother, turning to leave.

I pause at her next words. “I’m not trying to attack you. Believe it or not, it’s because I care that I want to make sure you don’t make more mistakes than you already have.”

Standing to full height, I slowly turn back to her with firm eyes. “Maia isnota mistake. She’s your granddaughter.”

For once, my mother is speechless.

The way she watches me is almost as if she’s looking right through me yet sees everything I keep locked behind the barrier.

Her eyes go to the little girl in my arms who’s fussing to go, and I can’t help but see the sadness in them. “I never asked who he was because I knew it didn’t matter. You were going to keep her, and love her, and raise her yourself. I respected you for it more than I’ve let on.”

This time, it’s me who’s silently surprised.

“She has his eyes,” my mother whispers.

It’s hard to swallow.

Deny, deny, deny.“She’s beautiful.”

My mother closes the distance between us, caressing hair out of Maia’s face before meeting my cautious gaze. “I want what’s best for her because sheismy granddaughter, and I love her.”

Evading my eyes, I hold Maia a little tighter against me. I nod and look over my shoulder at the woman whose scolding expression has turned into one of genuine concern. “I know you do. Which is why who her father is doesn’t matter. Her family is here. They’re who count.”

She’s about to say something but chooses to stop herself. It’s not often she silences her opinion, especially when it comes to me. Which means she really does want what’s best for Maia.

Hopefully, she understands that letting this go will ensure we keep the little ball of sunshine in our lives.

Finally, she steps back.

“Tell Dad I said hi,” is the last thing I say.

After setting Maia on my lap on the bus, I pull my phone out.

Me:My mom knows

Sinking into my seat, I let out a small breath and wait for the bubbles to appear at the bottom of the screen.

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