She’s got me there. My eyes go to my brother, whose focus is on Blake. I don’t blame the guy for gawking. There aren’t many guys who don’t do a double take at the girl whose confidence shines in every way possible—how she walks, talks, and looks. It’s all there, taunting us, every single day. And maybe if circumstances were different, I’d appreciate it a lot more than I do.
But one phone call from my mother earlier quickly reminded me of the reality I was dealt with instead. When I was little, my mother suffered a lot of arguments, bruises, and broken bones because of the man who disapproved of me.“See what I had to do, you little shit? Start acting like a man, and I wouldn’t have to hurt her. I won’t raise any kind of boy, you hear me?”
Any time I hear my mother cry, I’m brought back to the hopeless time when it felt like who I am brought her the most pain. I thought watching my biological father being carted away in handcuffs meant it was finally over, but after the third time, I realized I was living in purgatory.
So, fuck it. If this is the life I have to live, I’ll enjoy beautiful women like Blake. There are worse ways to live, even if it’s all a mask.
“You two seem… well acquainted,” I remark, trying to ignore the boner I’m still sporting despite the nagging feeling in my gut that tells me not to entertain this conversation.
It’s Rafael who answers. “We met once. Over the weekend, actually. Didn’t realize she was the Blake you told me about.”
That has my roommate in question turning to me with arched brows. “Do you talk about me a lot to people, Dante? And here I thought you didn’t like me.” There’s curiosity mixed in her teasing tone that tells me she genuinely wants to know.
If she honestly thinks I don’t like her, I feel like a jackass. “I never said I didn’t like you.”
To which she remarks, “You didn’t have to. Actions speak far louder than words ever do.”
Have I been that much of an ass to her? Sure, we don’t talk as much as she does with Finn and Brodie, but it’s nothing personal. Hell, I’m saving her from the shit show that is my life. I’m sure Rafael can attest to that. He didn’t have to deal with the misfortune of growing up with our father because Anthony Ramirez moved on to my mother shortly after getting her pregnant, but he knows damn well what an asshole he is regardless.
Does Blake know what my brother does for a living if they’ve spoken before? He usually brags about his position in the minors any chance he gets. It’s how he’s always gotten women. And I’ve never pegged Blake as a jersey chaser, especially after what her daughter’s father did.
Silently, I decide she has no clue.
And I don’t know if I like Rafael keeping it from her, even if there’s no obligation for them to share personal stories. He knows she’s a single mom, that much I shared when I told him he could only be here temporarily so long as he kept it down after Maia went to bed. Who fathered her is a story that isn’t my place to talk about.
“Do you make it a habit to watch people?” Blake asks next, her hands scraping down my brother’s chest.
“Only when I’m interested.”
If Blake is surprised by that, she doesn’t let on. Instead, she walks over to me, dragging my brother along and stopping just in front of me. “Is that so?”
I simply hum, eyes pointed downward at her before they drift to my brother. He steps closer until he’s pressed against her back, a sharp little inhale being sucked in from the girl in the middle.
“What are you doing, Blake?” I ask, seeing the way her eyes go down to my erection. This is a dangerous game she’s playing, and I’m not sure she’s up for what would happen if she makes a move.
Her throat bobs with an uncertain swallow. “I don’t know,” she admits. When she peeks up at me through her lashes, there’s a fire in her eyes that I doubt could be doused. I’ve seen it before when I’ve looked at myself in the mirror. We’re one and the same, her and I. “But I can tell when somebody is struggling because I am too. You and I are both on the edge. So, the way I see it, we can both ignore it and suffer, or jump and deal with the consequences later.”
Everything about those options scares me.
I suppose it takes a broken person to see one.
“Would it be breaking the rules if you watched me with somebody else?” she asks, fingernail slowly trailing up my stomach, between my pecs, and landing on my collarbone. The subtle touch makes my dick twitch, which I’m sure she feels when Rafael steps her into me until she’s pressed between our bodies.
I guarantee he’s as hard as I am right now.
Jaw ticking, I capture her wrist before she can move her hand to touch God knows what next. Even if it kills me. “Finn set those rules up for a reason. I’d hardly be a good friend if I broke them.”
Friend.The term for Finn doesn’t sit well with me, but I have nothing else to call him.
“I’m asking you to watch,” she says. “It’ll be your choice to take the dive or not.”
This time, I’m the one swallowing hard. “I don’t know if I can.”
Not because of my brother being part of it, although it should be a factor. I’ve done things with a lot of people I probably shouldn’t. The problem is, I don’t know if I’d only be able to watch. The temptation would be there, too much to hold back from. This is a distraction for me—the kind of man I was told to be. Powerful. Desired. Dominant.
Rafael leans down and brushes a kiss against Blake’s collarbone, then trails his lips to the crook of her neck and sucks the skin. I watch, fingers twitching around where they still hold on to Blake’s wrist and groan when I see her drop her head back to give him more access.
“Dante?” she breathes shakily. Her eyes lock with mine before she whispers, “I don’t want to be good tonight. I don’t think you do either.”