Page 28 of Girl Going Nowhere

“Why do you care?”

“Because I like you.”

Oh, please.“You don’t know me.”

“I’m trying to,” he counters. “Why aren’t you into hookups anymore?”

I think about Maia. About Emily. My parents.

“It’s not that I’m not ‘into them’ anymore. It’s just time to get serious. There are people expecting a lot from me these days.” The thought makes me blanch. My sexuality has always been something I’ve worn proudly—like a badge of honor. When I wasn’t a mother, that didn’t seem like such a bad thing. Now people see Maia with me and expect me to change what makes me… me.

Sexy.

Confident.

Strong.

The thing is, I’d do anything for my daughter. I’d give it all up. The men. The sex. Everything. But then I’d be trying to fit myself into a mold made for somebody else. Dating boring men. Settling for a boring job. Nothing about my life would be exciting.

There’d be no rush.

No fleeting feeling of being chased.

No crash when it goes wrong.

Those waves of emotions used to be the fuel that drove me forward. That’s why I go after the kinds of men who offer me so little. Because it makes mefeelsomething. It reminds me that I’m worth something to somebody outside of Maia. Even for a short period of time.

Rafael takes a dangerous step closer until our toes are brushing. “What doyouwant?”

To feel something,I want to say.

If I tell him the truth, I’ll be letting down a lot of people.

But not myself.

My manicured fingertips trail up his bare chest, making his eyes darken. “I don’t think you can handle what I want. I’ve been told I’m a lot.”

That smirk reappears. “Try me. It can be one night only if that’s what you want. Nobody will have to know.”

My lips part as if to reject him for the final time, but no words come out. Not a yes. Not a no. Nothing.

A few seconds pass, and the tension between us grows. My heart starts hammering in my chest the longer we stare until a silent agreement is made.

His lips crush mine, backing me up until I’m pressed against the wall. His fingers weave into my hair, cradling the back of my head before fisting strands and forcing me to tilt back to give him access to my throat.

He peppers kisses down to my collarbone and back up, biting down until there’s undoubtedly going to be a mark left behind. “I have a feeling,” he murmurs against me, swiping his tongue against my skin until I shudder a breath. “That this is going to be a very fun night.”

I swallow my yelp when he yanks my legs up to wrap around his waist. He wastes no time tracing his fingers along the seam of my shorts before slipping one of his fingertips inside the material. I have to bite my bottom lip to keep the noise I make at bay when he starts skillfully playing with the bundle of nerves that awaken a part of me I’ve tried suppressing.

His hips thrust forward, pinning me into the wall. I can feel how turned on he is, but he makes no effort to do anything about it as he teases me until I’m cursing under my breath for him to fuck me here and now.

With his fingers.

His tongue.

His cock.

I’ll take anything.

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