Page 8 of Girl Going Nowhere

“It’s your apartment, Finn,” I remind him sadly, knowing he wouldn’t do anything malicious like throw me out. “I would have no right to stay if things went south. Whether we’re adults or not, feelings can change people.”

I’m met with silence as he looks off into the distance. Something flashes in those green eyes before he finally says, “Trust me. I know.”

There’s a distance to his face that makes me think he’s not talking about the feelings he suddenly is telling me about. But I don’t push him on it.

Picking up my bread, I break another piece off and swirl it in the warm liquid. “Dating me is never going to be easy. I don’t envy any man that tries. I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m sort of a mess.”

My lame attempt at lightening the mood doesn’t really seem to work that well.

Because Finn looks at me and asks, “You’re not even going to let me try to prove you wrong, are you? You’ve made up your mind.”

This time, it’s me who’s silent.

“You’re not the only one who’s life is messy,” is the last thing he says.

CHAPTER FIVE

Finn

“You need totake it back,” Dante tells me as he kicks my ass at the new video game he bought us. It seems pointless playing against him when he knows the ins and outs of every level. I’m pretty damn sure he used a cheat mod to give him a power boost when I went to get another beer.

I push my glasses up my nose. “That’s not something you can just take back, idiot.”

“Who says?”

Is he serious? I pause the game, much to his disgruntlement, and shove his shoulder until he looks at me. He looks like his father, which nobody is stupid enough to say to his face. His dad is an abusive asshole who’s deservingly behind bars for hurting his wife—Dante’s mother. Not that he says so, but I think the biggest reason Dante keeps to himself is because that’s what he was trained to do to survive growing up. Being quiet left him in the background where he was safe because being who he is only ever got him into trouble.

“Isay. I think you and I both know once something is out, it can’t be taken back.” We share a tense look until his jaw tics at the unspoken implication. “It’s out there and she’s obviously choosing to ignore it like someone else I know.”

Again, he says nothing at the cool statement. What did I expect? He’s even more closed off than Blake is when it comes to expressing himself.

“If she wants to pretend like it never happened, then I will too. It doesn’t have to impact our living arrangements.”

He scoffs. “And you sayI’mthe idiot. Everything about you wanting to get with Blake changes things. What about our agreement?”

Here we go again with the fucking agreement. “Which agreement are we talking about here exactly?” I challenge.

His espresso-brown eyes darken. “You know damn well which one I’m referring to. The one with Blake. Not the—” He cuts himself off. “Let it go, Finn. I told you before, I’m done.”

Yeah, he’s told me that countless times, yet here we are. “Fine. The agreement with Blake is—”

“Still active so long as she lives here. If you keep fueling the fire, it’s only going to get out of control. She’s not the worst roommate I’ve ever had, even with the kid.”

He acts like he doesn’t get along with Blake, but I know him well enough by now. Probably better than anybody else in this apartment. It’s in his nature to keep his distance from people rather than invest in them. Another skill set engrained in him from childhood that I wish I could break.

“What happened to that chick you were seeing on and off for the last few months? Can’t you distract yourself with her? Or… someone else.”

Sabrina.A lawyer that I met when Brodie and I were at one of the local bars. She’s a nice person—low maintenance for the most part. “I got bored,” I tell him with a shrug, wondering if he’ll believe it.

He knows the other factors that influenced me to end my fling with her. She deserved better than someone who could only give her a half-assed effort. “And I hardly thinkyou’reone to question how relationships impact our roommate situation. Don’t you think?”

It’s a low blow that he chooses to ignore with a clenched jaw. “Were you comparing Sabrina to Blake like you always do? Or somebody else? Because nobody is ever going to live up to the expectation you have in your head. You’re as doomed as Blake is when it comes to dating if you keep doing that.”

“Watch it,” I warn, squeezing the controller in my hands.

He rolls his eyes. Once, when Blake was drunk, she went on and on about how Dante’s eyes reminded her of two pits of despair wrapped in black satin. I think she did it because it made Dante uncomfortable, and Brodie and I laugh. But the poetic drunk wasn’t wrong.

His head shakes, the longer strands of his wavy brown hair falling into his eyes. He scrapes it back with his hand. “You weren’t wrong about Blake, you know. She dates guys who she doesn’t have to settle down with because she gets what she needs from them and sends them on their way. It’s no different than what any of us do.”

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