Page 33 of Girl Going Nowhere

Brodie meets my eyes. “I’ve seen you self-destruct before. Don’t pull Blake down with you if you’re planning on hitting rock bottom again because of everybody else. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Ah,” I muse dryly. And here I thought my cousin was concerned for me. “You’re jealous because you want her for yourself.”

His nostrils flare, but he doesn’t confirm or deny anything. Not that he has to. It’s obvious he likes Blake as more than a friend. They flirt, but it’s hardly innocent on his end.

Am I a dick for fucking her knowing that?

Probably.

But I refuse to feel bad.

Brodie steps toward me. “You need to figure your shit out sooner rather than later. I love you, Dante. We’re family. But I’m tired of seeing all the ways you lie to yourself. One day, you won’t have anybody left because you pushed us all away.”

With that, he raises his water glass and disappears into his room.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Blake

Iwake upsore but sated, which is the only thing telling me last night wasn’t a dream. It takes approximately thirty seconds before the guilt settles in, leaving me lying in bed staring at the ceiling, feeling like the cheap whore I’m fairly certain my mother thinks I am.

Last night should have never happened. When I snuck out of Dante’s room, the rest of the apartment was quiet. It’d been as if nothing occurred, and I liked that.

Hopefully, that’s what the atmosphere is like today because I don’t feel good about my choices. I thought I’d feel as confident as I did years ago when I did something scandalous, but instead, it’s the opposite. For the first time ever, I think,maybe my mother is right.

And that’s a scary thought.

“Good morning, baby,” I greet Maia after slipping into her room with a tired smile. She’s rubbing her eyes and looking as tired as I feel. “Are you excited to see your friends? I hear it’s going to be beautiful, so I bet you’ll play outside today.”

Unlike me, Maia gets along easily with everybody. She already has a group of little girls she loves playing with at preschool. She even shared her favorite doll with them last week. The teacher said if she gets one more gold star, she’ll be the next student of the week.

I should have known my kid would be an overachiever.

“Tired, Mama,” she murmurs, still lifting her arms for me to pick her up anyway. As soon as she’s in my arms, all the tension from the night before leaves my body. I love the effect she has on me. All my worries and issues wash away the second those little arms wrap around me. It’s the only hug that has the magical ability to make me feel completely at ease.

“Me too, baby girl,” I reply, snuggling against her. “If I could stay home and cuddle you all day in bed, I would.”

I carry her out like I do every morning, smiling at Finn, who’s already at the table with his coffee. Maia’s booster seat is by the table, with her favorite animal plate ready for food by the stove.

“Thank you,” I say, setting her down.

“No problem. Sleep okay?” He sets his phone down and drags his coffee closer to him. It’s an innocent question that brings back not-so-innocent thoughts.

Clearing my throat, I offer him a smile as I prepare some eggs for Maia. “I did. You?”

He shrugs. “Same old. I started a new documentary last night that you’d like. It’s about Waco, Texas. I stopped after the first episode because I figured you’d want to watch it.”

My eyes flash. “Ooh. Tonight?”

His lips curl into a soft smile. “I’ll be home by six. We can watch it after you put Maia down. We may need to fight Brodie for the remote though.”

We have a TV policy where everybody gets to choose what to watch on certain nights. “It was his turn yesterday.”

“True. But,” he points out, “he put onyourfavorite show. He’ll use that against us. Documentaries aren’t his thing.”

Neither are people wearing masks and singing, but he learned to enjoy that after I got him to watch a couple episodes of the first season. “I’ll make sure to bat my lashes at him then. That usually gets him to change his mind.”

I expect Finn to laugh, but I’m greeted with silence instead. When I look over my shoulder at him, I frown at the pinched expression on his face.

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