Page 56 of Wanted You More

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It takes meover forty minutes to gather the courage to leave the room the next morning, which I wake up alone in by the time the sun is up. My hand is wrapped around the bracelet on my wrist, twisting it and brushing one of the hearts with my finger nervously as I will myself to move.

I can hear Noah rustling around somewhere close by, so I walk down a narrow hallway until I enter an open living room and dining area. In the farthest section of the room is a tiny kitchen stretched across the back wall where Noah is standing.

He looks up as soon as I walk in, his eyes going to the rumpled outfit I was in all day yesterday and last night, then up to the inevitable bedhead I have messing up my blond hair.

His eyes go back down to the food in front of him. “Morning.”

I notice the folded blanket and pillow on the couch facing the big flat-screen TV mounted in the corner. Items that weren’t used but were supposed to be last night. “You finally got a huge TV,” I note dumbly, seeing my messy reflection in the black screen and cringing. I try flattening out my frizzy hair, but it makes no difference.

Noah breaks my focus away from my reflection when he says, “It was the first thing I bought when I moved.”

I give his place a quick once-over. There’s a lot of brick and beige walls. Limited pictures or décor hanging. No shelves or plants or trinkets. Nothing that makes this place personal or homey, yet it’s somehow fitting for Noah.

Some of the furniture looks new and some of it used. I recognize tinier pieces from his parents’ house that they must have given to him—like the blue and gold floor lamp and the coffee table with a chip in the corner of the wood.

It’s neat, not cluttered, with everything in its own place. There aren’t any empty cups or dirty dishes around, no trash littering the floor, or crumbs on the countertop. Was that Bailey’s doing or his? Anyone would look at this place and see it as a bachelor pad—not a feminine touch anywhere.

Brushing the thought off, I lean against the breakfast nook across from him that has the same butcher block counter that Elizabeth’s does at Noah’s childhood home. “You never told me you moved.”

It’s not an accusation, but there’s hurt in my voice that gives him pause. He flips the pancakes in the pan on the stove before turning to me with a distant expression on his face. “I didn’t think you’d want to know.”

My response is immediate. “Bullshit.”

His brows pop up. “Excuse me?”

I stand taller. “You heard me. It’s bullshit that you think I wouldn’t want to know you got an apartment. I know how much you hated the last one, and how hard you were working to save for something better. You used to complain to me about your landlord and the neighbors all the time. Why wouldn’t I want to know that you finally got what you wanted? That you achieved something great?”

For a long time, he doesn’t say anything. His eyes go from the food cooking to the charm bracelet I’m touching. I see his throat bob before a sigh leaves him. “We haven’t exactly been talking. Reaching out to you about it would have been out of nowhere.”

He didn’t think I’d care? “And whose fault is it that we stopped talking?”

Noah’s eyes narrow. “It works both ways, you know. I’m not the only one who could have said something first.”

While he isn’t wrong, I refuse to let him win the argument. “Did you ever think there was somebody who made it impossible to reach out?”

The pancake starts smoking, causing Noah to curse, pull the pan off the burner, and wave the smoke away before it sets off the fire alarm. Over his shoulder, he tells me, “I’ve got no clue what you’re talking about.”

Not caring if he knows I was eavesdropping last night, I cross my arms on my chest and give it to him straight. “I’m talking about Bailey. Open your eyes, Noah. She doesn’t like me, and she especially doesn’t like us talking. She told me as much.”

Surprise takes over. “When did she tell you that? I didn’t know you two talk.”

“We don’t,” I grumble. “But we’ve bumped into each other before, and she isn’t shy about claiming her territory. Your girlfriend might as well have peed on you to ward other people off. She doesn’t want anybody else sniffing around what’s hers.”

He has the nerve to roll his eyes. “I didn’t need that mental image in my head, so thanks. And it’s not up to Bailey to decide who is or isn’t in my life. I make that decision.”

He’ll never know how deeply that hurts me. “I guess that settles that then. Good to know you willingly chose to cut me out.”

He thinks about it for a second before swearing again. “I didn’t mean it like that. All I’m saying is that nobody can make me do something I don’t want to. Yes, I didn’t reach out. I’m sorry. But I thought you might want that since you never bothered saying anything either. I was giving you some space to live your life after the night I picked you up at the party. I didn’t want to embarrass you or make things more complicated than they already were. And I…Christ. I guess I did think that it may be easier in the long run.”

I frown. “Easier to push me away?”

Limply, he shrugs.

“Bailey told me I was risking your career by being in your life,” I whisper, letting my shoulders drop. “She made it seem like you didn’t want me in it because I was too reckless. When you stopped talking to me, I figured there had to be some truth in it.”

Noah’s eyes fill with somberness. “I want you to know that I never told her to tell you any of that. I never said that stuff. To her or anybody.”

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