Page 35 of Wanted You More

She’s lost me. “What doesn’t?”

“Wanting to talk to your best friend and not getting the time of day,” she answers nonchalantly, going back to her nails.

Closing my eyes to keep calm, I take a deep breath. “I already told you it wasn’t like that. I’ve just been dealing with a lot lately. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be in my shoes? To havetwodifferent families disapprove of how I cope with things?

“I’m not just struggling to impress my family but the Kingsley’s too. Nothing I do these days seems to make anyone happy. Because if it’s them I’m focused on, you’re pissed at me for not doing more with you. But if I’m too invested in our friendship, it’s my family, especially Wolfe, that I’m making angry for not spending time with him and Dad. Then there’s Noah and Ben, who want me to stop acting out as if it’s my life mission to screw everything up and…”

Why does she care? If she did, she wouldn’t have iced me out of pettiness. “You know what, Marybelle? Forget about it. Nobody, not even my best friend, can understand what’s going on in my head. If you’re upset with me for making you feel like you’re not good enough, then I’m sorry. I never tried to replace you. I’ve just been trying to find balance. I don’t know if that’s possible anymore.”

I turn away from her and stare down at my blank phone screen. It’s quiet for a long stretch of time. I don’t hear her filing her nails anymore.

Then she says, “You’re right. I’ll never understand. But you never talk about it. About any of that stuff. I’ve always gone along with it because you never seem to want to bring up the past, but it makes it impossible to be your friend sometimes because I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

I’m about to say something when I stop myself from speaking to process. I guess I never thought she cared enough about the past to ask about it. I liked her more than most people because she didn’t seem like she gave a shit about what happened to me.

Letting out a tiny breath, I admit, “It’s easier not talking about it.”

Marybelle’s voice is softer than before. “I get that, but it’s not good bottling it up. I may not know exactly what it’s like being you, but I can understand what it’s like having a dad who’s tough on you. Doesn’t every family have intense expectations for their kids?”

Weakly, I nod. “I guess.”

“It felt shitty whenever I’d try talking to you about something and you’d be spaced out in your own world,” she tells me. “I know it wasn’t cool for me to go off on you like that, but I’d had it. We always bonded over doing fun stuff, so when you pushed me away, it felt like you didn’t want me around at all. Icing you out was a bitchy thing for me to do, and I’m sorry. I felt terrible when I heard you passed out. I shouldn’t have been calling out to avoid you. I know how you can get in big crowds.”

I’m still embarrassed about what happened, so I choose not to address that. “Can we promise not to fight again?”

She slides off the stool she’s sitting on and comes over to give me a hug. “Promise. On one condition.”

I pull back with my brows furrowed. “I get scared when you have conditions.”

Marybelle laughs. “You have to tell me about the bubbly bimbo I’ve seen Noah with. There’s no way you haven’t met her by now. I know Noah is constantly lingering around you, which means you have tea to spill.”

Groaning over Bailey being brought up, my shoulders drop. “She’s as nice as she looks, and her boobs are big and perky. It’s no wonder Noah likes her so much.”

My best friend’s eyebrows pop up. “That wouldn’t happen to be jealousy I detect, would it? Because it sounds like you’re jealous.”

“I’m not!” I quickly say. But then I think about the way I saw them together at the ice cream store. Bailey would laugh over something dumb Noah would say and touch his bicep, making him smile in her direction. On paper, they’re perfect. They physically look like a great couple. And that bothers me. A lot.

Way more than it should.

“Shit,” I murmur in realization, looking at Marybelle. “I think I’m jealous of Bailey.”

When the hell did that happen?

“Oh, babe,” Marybelle teases. “It was bound to happen eventually. I was just waiting for you to come to your senses. He’s hot. I mean, he’s not my type, but he’s yours.”

I make a face. “Ididn’t know it would happen. Noah is annoying. And his dad is…”

She waves it off. “Who cares who his dad is. Look, this Bailey chick doesn’t have shit on you. Sure, she’s got great boobs, but you’ve got a great ass and an even better personality. And if you want me to be honest, he doesn’t look comfortable with how she’s constantly trying to get his attention in public. I saw them at the store the other day and he practically slipped out of her hold when she was getting all touchy. Noah is a private guy who isn’t big on PDA. She seems like the opposite. It won’t last.”

It shouldn’t matter if it does or not.

But then I think about how he slept outside of my hospital room. And how he texted to check in on me every day when I got out. Or randomly popped by the house when he got off work or out of class with soup or sandwiches or hot Cheetos.

Well, shit…

My chest deflates when I come to terms with the fact that I’ve got a big, fat crush on Noah Kingsley.

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