When I pass him, I keep my eyes down but shoot an accusatory glare at his former trainee who’s by his side. Hanger sighs and chooses to ask Ben about retirement, how the family is, and if he wants to go to the country club sometime for another round of golf.
None of the Kingsley men enjoy golf, but I remember Noah saying his dad used to make strong connections at the club. Something about rubbing elbows with the right people helped him with certain cases he was assigned to.
After finally relieving myself, I take my time washing my hands and trying to make myself look less like a drunken mess before facing the man who is undoubtedly going to lecture me on proper behavior.
The thought makes my blood boil.
I haven’t heard a word from any of the Kingsley’s since Noah brushed me off. I’m not sure what he told them to stop checking in, but I never knew it’d hurt this much to be discarded by a family who I always thought loved me like one of their own.
There are two sets of eyes on me when I leave the tiny bathroom. I ignore both of them so they don’t see the mixed emotion that’s bound to be all over my face. Alcohol always makes it hard to keep my mask on. Which is probably scary, considering I’m already unfiltered when I’m completely sober.
“Don’t you have something to say to Officer Hanger?” Ben says, voice so firm it stops me from walking ahead of them.
Stopping in the middle of the hall, I stand to full height and turn around with a forced smile on my face. I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry that you had to do your job tonight, but at least you go to see my boobs.”
His eyes widen while Ben’s close.
“I…uh…” He quickly looks to Ben, who’s shaking his head to himself. Officer Hanger looks back to me and fumbles with his words some more. “I wasn’t trying to—I mean, I didn’t see much.”
Ben puts his hand on Hanger’s shoulder and squeezes. “I’d stop while you’re ahead if I were you.”
Hanger swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he clears his throat. “Yes, sir.”
The look I get from Ben has me shrinking a little internally. “My car is out front. I’ll take you back to your dorm.”
We’re quiet as we walk out of the station, sans Ben telling a few people goodbye that call out to him. It isn’t hard to see that he misses it here. He spent the better part of the last three decades working his way up the ladder. He’s met a lot of great people who I know still keep in touch with him because they’ll show up at his summer get-togethers.
I hesitate to get in when he opens the passenger side door for me. “You haven’t talked to me,” I say quietly, peeking up at him. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
Ben takes a deep breath. “Get in the car where it’s warm and we’ll talk. No point in us freezing out here.”
I nod, obeying him without complaint and buckling in as he closes the door, rounds the front of the car, and slides in behind the wheel.
My eyes stay focused on my hands as he turns the radio down and puts the car into drive, looking once in the mirror before pulling out. “I told you that you could reach out anytime you needed something. That’ll always be true.”
I know he means that, but my pride is too big to be the first one to make contact. “Noah doesn’t want to be part of my life anymore, so I figured he told you and Elizabeth to leave me alone too.”
It shouldn’t upset me this much, but how could it not? I love Ben like he’s a second dad no matter our heavy history. Elizabeth is my makeshift mom, and Noah is…
Well, he’s Noah. I’ve never considered him like a brother, despite thinking of his parents as mine. He’s always been more.
Ben slows down at a stoplight at the end of the road and turns to me. “He spoke to us,” he confirms. “But it was never going to stop us from checking in on you. Elizabeth sees your dad on occasion and asks about how the family is. We don’t know specifically what happened between you and our son, but we wanted to give you two the space and respect to figure it out for yourselves. Trust me, kid. It’s easier when there are fewer people involved. Nobody’s opinions should matter but your own.”
It was that easy for them? “You never wished me a Happy Thanksgiving.”
He gives me a look. “You didn’t either.”
“Because ofNoah!”
His chin dips. “Exactly. Look, Austen. I wish I could give you sage advice on the inner workings of our son, but I’ve got none. Elizabeth and I don’t want to cause any problems or intervene in anything that could get in the way of your happiness. You’re both special kids to us.”
I’m silent as I stare down at my lap.
I only look up when Ben adds, “If there’s one thing that seems to be true, it’s that you and Noah always find your way back to each other. It isn’t like this is the first time you’ve fought or given each other the silent treatment. The people that are meant to be in your life will be.”
If that’s the truth, why do I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR