Page 103 of Wanted You More

“I love you,” I blurt without thinking, sinking onto him and feeling him let go in another growled groan.

He jerks upward, filling me and causing me to quake around him from the warmth that spreads inside me.

When he settles back onto the seat, his chest slowly rises and falls as he watches me.

Swallowing down my nerves, I cup his cheek. “I love you, Noah.”

There’s a glaze to his eyes that could be from a lot of things, but I want to believe it has something to do with how his heart is racing under my other palm.

Yet, he doesn’t say it back.

I see it on his face.

Feel it under my palm.

And can practically taste it on my lips like an afterthought from the brutal way he claimed every part of me tonight.

Still, he’s quiet.

When his eyes close, I’m suddenly terrified of what he’s going to tell me. Because I know it’s going to be something, and it’s rare that anything works in my favor.

So, I climb off him, feeling the remnants of what we just did on the inside of my thighs, and move my panties back into place. I grab my jeans from the floor of his truck, struggling to slide them on gracefully and get back into my spot and away from him.

It feels like a lifetime passes when he reaches over to take my hand and threads our fingers together. We sit like that, letting our hands rest in the spot between us, as we stare at what little of the view is left to see through the fogged windshield.

“You should never have to doubt that I love you, Austen,” is how he fills the silence. “It was always because I did that I constantly fucked everything up.”

All I can do is stare down at my lap and absorb the feeling of his palm holding mine.

He sighs after another lull of silence. “I need to ask…are you on the pill?”

My jaw quivers. “No.”

I feel his hold slacken slightly, but all he says is, “Okay.”

He reaches for the keys and turns the ignition on, only letting go of my hand when he puts the truck into reverse. I notice the white-knuckled grip he has on the wheel as we drive into town, but he doesn’t say anything.

When he pulls into the pharmacy parking lot twenty minutes later, I know what we’re here for. I wait silently, ignoring all the messages my phone has been blown up with since I snuck out with Noah, and stare at the store windows as the man himself disappears inside.

I fade into myself, listening to whatever song is playing softly in the background, and barely register when he comes back.

I turn toward him when he closes his door a little harder than he usually does and puts the box of Plan B beside me. My eyes trail up from the pill to him, distance coating my insides.

“Just to be safe,” is all he tells me.

He readjusts his body and starts the truck again, pulling out of the parking space and stopping at the red light at the end of the lot.

I grab the Plan B and grip the edges as I read the little print on the side.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out, rest the box on my lap and accept that he’s right. Neither one of us are ready to be parents.

I lean back in my seat and look at the profile of his face. “You could have just gotten me a birthday card.”

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

There’s a significantchange between Noah and I in the few weeks following my birthday. He doesn’t avoid me, but he does avoid the situation.

It’s almost finals week when the pressure of assignments and exams starts piling on. At least once a week, Noah and I would find a quiet spot in the campus library to study or do homework together. I know there’s way more pressure on him since he’s graduating, and he’s been beating himself up and making sure he gets the best grades.

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