Page 75 of Reckless Desire

“It will, beautiful. I’ll fuck that pessimism out of you.” I wink and she shakes her head, chuckling.

I knock on Caro’s door and open it. “Is your show over, sweetheart?”

She’s at her desk, her nose buried in papers. Crayons, cut-outs of some pictures and tape are strewn all over her desk.

“I’m working on my magazine now.” She looks over her shoulder and swivels her chair, raising her eyebrows when she spots Sydney beside me. “Mrs. Lowe.” Her eyes dart between us. “Am I in trouble?”

“No, no, silly.” I step inside. “Can you leave your project for a moment and talk to us?”

She stands up. “Do you promise I’m not in trouble? Because Ruby started it first.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

I look at Sydney. Great. Fuck. Do we deal with whatever the situation is with her friend, or do I come back to it?

“We can talk about Ruby later if you want. Right now, your dad and I would like to tell you something.” Sydney’s voice is level and friendly. No signs of the freak-out she had a minute ago.

“Okay.” Caro jumps on her bed and crosses her legs, resting her chin in her palm.

“Remember when you asked me if I liked Sydney…” I clear my throat. Okay, I thought I wasn’t worried. Suddenly Caro’s approval is the most important thing in the world, and I start sweating. “Mrs. Lowe? I like her very much, and as it happens, I’m one lucky guy and she likes me too. We started dating.”

She wrinkles her nose as if the idea was unsavory. “So, you like kiss and hold hands now?”

“We care for each other and enjoy spending time together. And yes, sometimes we kiss and hold hands.” Sydney sits on the edge of Caro’s bed.

Caro looks down and says nothing. The air grows heavy with silence as she intently studies the familiar pattern of her duvet.

“Do you have any other questions, Caro? Or would you like to talk to your dad alone? That’s okay. I can leave the two of you to talk.” Sydney stands up.

Caro finally looks up, raising her chin in defiance, her eyes misty with unshed tears. Fuck. I didn’t expect her to be hurt by this. My pulse ticks up to a potentially unhealthy rate.

My mind goes blank as I dig through it for some useful thing to say. Nothing comes up through the screams of despair in my head. What if she doesn’t accept this? What if she never comes around? What if she starts hating Sydney and we’d have to change schools again? Or we will have to hide our relationship?

This is why I never worry ahead of time, because my mind just constructs impossible, unsolvable scenarios. Right now, in the split second before Caro speaks again, my brain goes wild with doom and gloom options.

“Does it mean that now that you have Mrs. Lowe, you don’t want me anymore? Will I go to strangers inforest care?”

And here I thought my mind constructed the wildest ideas. I dash to her and scoop her in my arms, squishing her as tight as possible without suffocating her.

“Caro, the day I decided to adopt you I knew it was forever. The day you accepted me as your dad has been the happiest day of my life. Nothing and no one will ever change that. You’re my daughter. You’ll always live with me. No foster care for you. You’re stuck with me.”

I kiss the crown of her head and look at Sydney who is smiling, her face wet with tears.

“My life might be cut short if you don’t let me breathe.” Caro tries to pry herself out of my embrace.

I laugh and let her go. “Are you okay, pumpkin?”

“I was”—she rolls her eyes—“until you called me that.”

“Nothing will change between you and your dad. You just might see more of me, Caro. And if you have any more questions, we can talk anytime.” Sydney smiles at my daughter.

“Will you take me for a manicure?” Caro’s eyes go wide with expectation.

“Well…” Sydney looks at me, perplexed, the corner of her mouth curling up. “If your dad is okay with that, we’ll go this weekend.”

Caro beams. “Can I call you Sydney?”

“When we’re outside of school, please call me Sydney, or my sisters call me Syd.” She smooths Caro’s hair, and my girl wraps her arms around Sydney’s waist.

I revel for a moment, part relieved, part mesmerized at the sight of the two most important people in my life and part still shocked about the conversation.

---