Page 19 of Reckless Desire

“I’m not hungry. I’ll go take care of this situation.” I gesture to where her eyes landed and then leave quickly for the bathroom.

Take care of the situation? What the hell?Real smooth.Did I just tell her I’m going to jerk off? Fuck.Am I?

I let the cold water pound my tense muscles, staying as long as possible to will my cock to stand down, which proves difficult since the idea of Sydney on the other side of the door continues to excite me. Goddammit. Quite the professional I am.

Dressed in my shirt and pants once more, I find Sydney in the living room, standing by the window in her green dress.

“I had a great time, Hunter.” She faces me, pursing her lips, all business. It’s a tense announcement, not really an exciting proclamation.

I put on my jacket and shove the tie in my pocket. If someone sees me leaving they would never guess what happened in this room. That I spent my night fighting my attraction to this woman.

“I’m glad, not only because you had a hard time accepting this date to begin with, but because I want you to have a great time. You deserve to have fun.”

She sighs and I erase the distance between us in a few fast strides. I tuck a curl behind her ear and leave my hand there, cupping her face. Her cheek is soft under my thumb. Before I can change my mind, I pull a card from my inner pocket.

“I’m breaking all sorts of rules and going completely against common sense, but if you ever want to… I don’t know, hang out…” I cringe inwardly. Idiot. I push the card into her hand.

She blinks a few times. “You’re a personal trainer?”

I need to leave now before I say or do something stupid. But I will regret it if I don’t at least…

I cup her face with both hands. My eyes drop to her mouth and her breath hitches. It’s the softest sound, but it’s enough to silence the world outside, all the voices. The voice of reason included.

I capture her lips. And it’s not gentle. I don’t give her a chance to respond or to protest. I kiss the hell out of those beautiful, full lips that teased me unknowingly all night.

She goes rigid at first. I almost step away when Sydney parts those lips for me, inviting me in. I devour her like a man starved. Her mouth is sweet and warm, a tease and a regret, just like she is.

She grips my lapels, holding on to me and pulling me closer. There has been little joy in my life in recent years, so I treasure moments like warm dinner rolls with melting butter, or new words Caro mispronounces, or the fresh air after the rain cleans the city. All those moments combined don’t come close to the overwhelming sense of joy and rightness this kiss evokes in me.

A feeling I try to push aside because it’s not right. It’s not joyous. It’s an exploration of what could be, but never will.

When we finally come up for air, her eyes are bewildered and lit up with desire. Or maybe that’s what I want to see in them. But I’ve kissed many women in my life and not once has it felt like this.

“I better go now,” I say, not only because my cock is saluting again. Reluctantly, I walk to the door. I don’t like that our future is impossible. That she might never call. That even if she calls, nothing real can come out of it.

This is goodbye. Once and forever. I turn and take in the beauty of the woman. The sun is shining behind, accentuating her curves. Our eyes meet.

I take a mental snapshot before I find my voice. “This was the best date I’ve ever had.”

With that I walk out, knowing this will remain a beautiful memory, but nothing else.

ChapterSeven

Sydney

Istare at the closed door, waiting for my brain to finish its aimless tour around the world and finally do me some good inside of my head.

What was that? How have I walked through my life and never once experienced this? That kiss was hungry and decadent, leaving me breathless and wanting more. If that kiss suggested what could have been last night, I’m already torturing myself with regret.

Ironic, considering I wanted to prevent the regret by avoiding sex last night. My efforts fell flat because something beyond physical connection sprouted between us. Just as Hunter predicted. Intimacy.

And now it’s not just regret. Need and want filled my veins at his touch. Jesus.Okay, Sydney, snap out of it.He is a good kisser. He made you feel heard, safe and beautiful. He challenged you and made you laugh.It was the best date I’ve ever had.

Hunter said the same thing. Did he mean it?

Why am I so insecure? London’s gift sucks. Big time. It turned my beliefs upside down. It’s much easier to believe all men are assholes when you stay away from them and only sample here and there from the often pathetic pool of online dating.

My lips tingle from Hunter’s kiss. I want to ignore it, but instead I reach to touch them. At least I get to keep this memory. Maybe there is a man out there who is as interesting and hot as Hunter, and has a boring job that doesn’t include fucking other women.

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