Page 54 of Reckless Desire

“You’re putting me on probation?” I shake my head as if the words might make more sense once rattled.

“Look, Sydney, I can’t play favorites, and what happened at the museum was negligence. It doesn’t reflect well on the school. You lost a child.” Dan takes off his glasses and starts polishing them with the tip of his tie. A blue tie with tiny yellow patterns I bought him as a good-luck tie when he started interviewing for this job.

“Of course you shouldn’t play favorites, but would you close a case with another teacher without investigation? How have you drawn your conclusion, Dan?” I’m not sure why I’m fighting him, because I was responsible for Caro and she went missing. It was my fault. I’ve had nightmares about it for the past three days.

The nightmares have been taking turns with spicy dreams since the night at Hunter’s when things got heated, and then Caroline cried out and both of us snapped out of our delusional fantasy. It was reckless. We were both reacting to the traumatic experience of the day.

We will find out soon how real it was because we are going out tonight. On an actual date.

“You lost one of your students, Sydney, and I don’t think an investigation would reveal anything pertinent.”

“Okay.” Part of me is certain this is his retaliation for breaking things off with him, but it will do me no good to point out his methods are unethical. At least now I know I need to be very careful in the future, because my actions won’t be judged fairly. This includes publicizing my relationship with Hunter. If there is one.

We’d have to keep things secret for Caro’s benefit for the time being anyway.

“Okay?” He studies me with a frown. His face is laced with questions, possibly even disappointed that I’m not begging him.

“I don’t think your decision is fair, but I’m accepting it. What else do you want me to say?” I shrug and stand up. His office is filled with the light streaming through the three floor-to-ceiling windows, but no amount of sunshine can make this conversation warm.

He stands up as well and walks around his desk. Before I can reach his door, he curls his hand around my biceps. “Wait, Syd.”

“Dan, please.” I don’t even know what my plea is.

“I miss you,” he says. “I shouldn’t have proposed and spooked you. I don’t need you to marry me. I don’t need you to move in with me, but I don’t have time or energy to date and look for someone else, and we were good together.”

My sisters were right—Dan was safety and comfort. He helped me fight my loneliness, and clearly I was the same for him. He is handsome and intelligent, but he can’t be bothered to look for a partner?

I study the hairline wooden ridges of his door for a moment before I face him, yanking my arm away from him. “Dan, are you suggesting we get back together because it’s convenient and easier than looking for someone else? Do you really think that’s a proposition that would win me over?”

“Come on, Syd, you never wanted the romantic gestures and all that sweet stuff. That’s what I liked about you. You were very practical in our arrangement.”

“Our arrangement, Dan, was an upgraded version of friends with benefits. You voided that arrangement when you asked me to move in with you and then tried to smooth it over by proposing. It’s not about my residence or the engagement ring. It’s about both of us wanting something else from a relationship.”

I shouldn’t even be indulging him in this conversation. A part of me hopes he’ll get closure. A part of me wants us to get past the awkwardness and his hurt feelings. Jesus, part of me regrets I ever engaged in anything with him in the first place.

“I want for things to be back as they were,” he huffs.

“Until you decide to move to the next stage without talking to me to know if we’re on the same page? For fuck’s sake, Dan, the fact we were not even remotely aligned is a clear sign we shouldn’t continue.”

“I thought you wanted—”

“Exactly, youthought, and you thought wrong.”

“Syd, don’t tell me you don’t at least miss the sex.”

Who is this person? Begging me for a second chance is so off-putting. I shudder. Pity mixes with consternation at the pit of my stomach.

I shake my head for the second time since I’ve entered this office. Again, it doesn’t rearrange reality for me. “This is a place of work, Dan. You’re my boss. Let’s just keep things professional.”

I leave so fast, I trip and bump into Melissa’s desk. “Sorry.” Heat spreads from my neck to my ears, burning me with indignation and exasperation.

Screw him. He wants to get back together because he is lazy and doesn’t have time to look for another lay. Jesus.

I grab my things and walk out of the school, trying to shake off the aftertaste of that conversation. I pull out my phone and call Hunter.

“Hello, Mrs. Lowe, are you impatient for our date tonight?” His silky voice brushes over my skin with soft coolness, sprouting goosebumps.

“I could be calling about Caro,” I point out.

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