Page 30 of Reckless Desire

“He’s married, London. Why is everyone pissing me off today?”

“Pardon me, but have you considered the possibility he might not be?” She raises her eyebrows and her glass, sipping while laser pointing her expectation my way.

“Even if he isn’t married anymore, he was three years ago and lied to me. He’s been probably lying to his wife the whole time while sleeping with your rich friends.” I gulp down my drink.

Lo rolls her eyes and raises her hands in surrender.

“He gave me his card—not his gigolo service card—and asked me to call him, while there was a woman and a child waiting for him. So even if he wasn’t a male prostitute, he is a liar.”

I grab another drink and the clear liquid sloshes over the edge. I lick my fingers. I should stop drinking. It’s a school night, but it’s not like my boss has the moral ground to do anything about it.

“Hunter is back in your life. His daughter is an innocent bystander, you need to pull your shit together and decide how to handle the situation. Given his extracurricular activities, he’ll probably play it low key, so you might not need to worry. What interests me is that Hunter shows up and you immediately get rid of your boy toy.” She scrunches her lips to the side, assessing me with a sharp look.

“Boy toy? Jesus, London.” I shudder. “Argh, why do I hang out with you again?”

“Because you love me. Okay, spill it. What’s up with Dan?”

“He is my new boss. He didn’t tell me about it. I found out at work, along with all my other colleagues.” I sound like a petulant child, but that must be the alcohol, because my complaint is valid.

“I see.” Lo purses her lips like she knows something I don’t.

“What?” I snap because that seems to be my favorite mode of expressing my feelings today.

I was supposed to celebrate my new beginning tonight. Okay, it’s just a small step in hopefully the right direction, but it’s huge for me. And here I am. Mad at Hunter. Mad at Dan.

Kind of mad at London, though I’m not sure why. Most of all, I’m mad at myself. Because I’m acting like I have the emotional intelligence of the little girls in my class. Great.

“You’re not pissed he’s your boss. You’re hurt he didn’t tell you about it. It’s a Jeremy move in your books.” She weaves her fingers together and rests her chin on them.

“Exactly. I mean, no. Not exactly. This has nothing to do with Jeremy. This is Dan keeping important information from me.” I take a generous sip. The last one.

“Why did he?”

London stirs her drink with the little paper umbrella. The bar is getting busier and a few men have been eyeing our booth. It’s a large table for two women. Lo scares them off with one look. For now.

“Because he didn’t want me to stress out on my first day.” I hear the meaning of my statement deep in my stomach. It rolls there like a boulder. Heavy and undigested.

“So he did it to protect you, not to betray you.” London raises her eyebrows.

“Which side are you on?” This day keeps going downhill.

“I’m on your side. I’ve always been.” Lo takes a sip and swings her finger to deter another hopeful companion. He scurries away.

“I know.” I sigh. “I can’t believe he asked me to move in with him.”

London raises her eyebrows, barely able to hide her gleeful smirk. “Ooh la la. Though moving in together would be a natural progression of your courtship.”

“Ooh la la? Courtship? Which century did you come from?” I shake my head and try to articulate my feelings. Who else could listen without judgment if not London? Though right now, she’s having a bit too much fun. “He asked and I realized, in that moment, we’re in two different relationships.”

“Frankly, I’m surprised it lasted this long. But for the future, you either have a hookup—my rule is three at most with one guy—or you set up rules at the beginning.” London nods.

I roll my eyes. London’s freestyle way of living scares me more than commitment.

“I wish being celibate wasn’t so lonely.”

For a split second, I almost wish I was still grieving for Jeremy. While that was a horrible period of my life, at least there was some comfort in the sameness of it. I moved on, somewhat, but I always seem to push in the wrong direction, cornering myself rather than progressing.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you broke up.” Lo raises her glass. “Cheers to that. I never really liked him. He didn’t make you spark.”

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