“Fortrying so hard for us to be a thing, we sure do fight a lot.”
“Psh, so?”
“Don’tyou ever get tired of fighting and arguing with the girl you love?”
“No,” he immediately answers. “Justmeans that we care so much.Plus, the makeup sex will be incredible.”
Isnort before a long pause consumes the cab. “Sincewhen?”
“What?”
“You’veloved me since when?”
Hedoesn’t answer right away with a smartass remark.Glimpsingover, his anger has evaporated, replaced by awe.
Histhumb rubs back and forth across the backs of my fingers,Ithink more out of nervousness instead of affection. “Doyou really wanna know?”
Igive a small nod.
Ittakes a long, torturous moment before he answers. “Steph,I’veloved you ever sinceRobbieintroduced us after church.”Hechuckles softly. “NeverthoughtI’dwillingly sit through religious ed andMassjust to stare at my best friend’s sister for an hour and a half once a week.”
Mybrows knit together. “Andyou never said anything?”
Hedoesn’t respond.
Iguess we’re alotmore alike thanIwant to think.Cowardiceand all.
Heremembers the exact moment he fell in love with me over fifteen years later.Iwas in third grade andIwasn’t thinking about boys yet—Iwas busy figuring out how to mangle my fingers into chords on theEpiphoneDadgave me for my birthday that year.LongbeforeZakandIwere even a thought.
Butit doesn’t change anything.
Istill shared life withZakfor six years.Istill regret screwing everything up.
Istill loveZak, and a part of me always will.
Adrianpulls up to the house, circling the pecan tree to face the driveway and park.Theporch light is on; colors flash over curtains in the window, soMomandDadare home watchingTVin the living room.
Adriansighs and runs his hand through his hair, pushing his head against the headrest and looking down his nose at the drive. “Zakasked you out beforeIgot the cajones to do it.I…Igot so fucking tongue tied every timeItried.Zakmighta asked you first, but, in some weird way, it meant you were mine, too.”
Hefinally meets my gaze. “We’vefucked up a lot because of each other.Thiswhole thing is messed up becauseIslept with my brother’s girlfriend, and it’s so much worse ‘causeIstill want her even though y’all aren’t over each other.Ijust…Ifinally got a taste of what it would be like to keep you, andI’mnot about to let that go.”
Chapter26
These Walls
–Dream Theater
Thehurricane churning inside seizesthe breath in my lungs.Thisdiabolical creation of two men that have staked their claim in my life has hurled me through so many dark and lonely nights, left me wondering ifIdid the right thing refusingZak’sproposal and leaving him and his brother both behind only with the words “Iquit.”
Partof me swoons overAdrian’sconfession.
Therest of me is left wondering if he meant it as an underhanded threat.
Butthe longerIstare at him, the moreIunderstand it’s a vow—a sweet and romantic, fucked up, dangerous vow.
“Steph,Idon’t know what you actually think about me—”
“Ispent six years datingZak.Iplanned a life with your brother, andIhad to go fuck it all up with you.Whatare you hoping for if we’re together?Whatdo you see in the future for us?”