Page 62 of The Second Deal

Ishrug and make a face. “So?What’sthat got to do with me?”

“Well, that’s the thing,”Dadsays, shifting in his chair with his elbows on the table. “Ithink they’d offer a contract only if you return to the lineup.”

Iclench my jaw, ignoringZak’sobviously widened eyes. “Guesseveryone’s gonna be in a world of hurt, then.”

“Maybeyou should consider it,”Dadsays.Hepauses. “Thatis, if the guys would want it.”

Alleyes are onZak.Hisknuckles pale as he grips the mug between his hands and focuses on the tabletop.Hedoesn’t say a word and doesn’t look up at anyone or anything—his expression is indiscernible.

“Idon’t think it’s a good idea,”Isay.

Momsuddenly spins around, letting a plate of bacon fall ungracefully to the island counter and clatter. “Whatthe hell happened to you two?Y’allwere inseparable for years, and then—”Shethrows a hand in the air before it slaps against her leg and sets her glare on me, “—you randomly decided to quit the band and move out of state without any warning.”

“Tara…”

Mom’sglare shutsDadright up before she sets in on me again. “Stephani, you’re back home and you have a chance to come back to everything you left when you moved toAtlanta.Whywouldn’t you take the chance?”

Igape at her with furrowed brows. “I’mnot returning toTimeless,”Istate firmly.Butmy voice quivers, unintentionally going up half an octave and catching whenIsay, “ZakandIaren’t getting back together.”

Agigantic, jagged boulder forms in my throat and burns my nose.Myfingers dig into the warm ceramic mug in my hand.Ifocus on the raw bacon sizzling and popping in the frying pan.

Myshaky voice cracks. “Hedeserves better than me.Andso doesTimelessand everyone else.”

Momreaches for me, pulling me into a death grip of a hug. “Don’tyou dare think that for one second, sweetheart.Wemight be hurt about how you left, but every single one of us wants you here.”Shestrokes my hair down my back and whispers, “EvenZak.”

Iblink rapidly, stunned, untilIfinally hug her back.Mychest quivers from holding too much tension, and my throat is sore from swallowing knives.

Achair scrapes against the tile floor.

WhenIlook up,Zakstalks out of the dining room, through the kitchen, and towards the front door.Itslams shut a moment later.

Thedam suddenly bursts.

Igently pushMomaway and run for the backdoor.

Hedidn’t want me to leave, but he doesn’t want me back in the band.

Outon the back patio,Iplant myself on a wooden bench in the shade.Renewedsobs fall out of me as quickly as the tears.

Thedoor clicks andIthrow my hands over my face to hide.Butthe second a hand touches my shoulder,Iblubber everything out like uncontrollable vomit to get the illness out.

“Icheated onZak,”Ifinally blubber. “IthoughtIwas doing everyone a favor leaving beforeImade things worse.ButImiss home, andImiss the band, and—”Ichoke up. “ImissZak.”

Momdoesn’t say a word, only holds me tight even though we’re roasting out here in the heat and humidity with me making it worse by crying over us both.

EventhoughI’madmitting how much of a piece of shitIreally am,Idon’t feel any better.

ThemoreIadmit it, the worseIfeel.

Finally, after letting me sob on her shoulder forGodknows how long, she says, “Well, that explains a couple of things.”

Sniffling,Iswipe my cheeks and titter brokenly. “Youknow what the awful thing is?Zaksaid he never wanted me to leave, even afterItold him whatIdid.He…”Mybreath catches and tears fill my eyes again.Iwhisper so quietly that evenIcan’t make it out over the screeching of cicadas. “Hestill loves me.”

Momsqueezes my knee. “Ican tell you still love him, too.”

“Buthe doesn’t forgive me,”Itell her, finally meeting her gaze. “Idon’t blame him.Iwouldn’t forgive me, either.”Myhead shakes. “Idon’t know whatIexpected.”

Shedoesn’t respond with anything for a minute, and it sets me on edge. “Hon, what you did was beyond hurtful.It’shard to mend a relationship after trust is broken like that.But… it’s not impossible.Mightjust take some extra time, if y’all are willing to work through it.”

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