Page 51 of The Second Deal

Theadmission leaves me stunned.I’dtake a step back from it ifIwasn’t already on the wall.

Eventually,Imove forward and climb onto the bed beside him.Isit crossed-legged and take theCrown, the stuff burning my throat on its way down.

“I’mstuck with my ex-boyfriend for a night after refusing his proposal, not talking to him for a year and a half, and him miraculously surviving death,”Imutter. “Which, by the way,Iexpect the real story tomorrow when you’re sober.”

Zaktitters, crossing his arms.Hepushes his back against the headboard. “Areyou really gonna have an aunty date withDrea?” he asks.

“Yeah, of courseIam.Imean, as long asKrisdoesn’t try to fuckin’ murder me.”

“Justdon’t want la princesita’s heart getting broken again with you disappearing.”

Drea’s, or yours?,Iwant to ask. “I’mnot going anywhere.I’mgonna make good on my promise to her.”

Hepauses, chewing on his lip and mulling something over silently for a long moment. “SinceKrisis a little off the deep end for the time being,Ican get her and y’all can hang out here.”

Leaningback against the headboard next toZak,Islap his arm with the back of my hand and point at him. “Notios allowed.”

“Weturned her old room into a playroom-slash-study room for her, and no tios are allowed in there.”Whenhis mouth spreads wide,Icatch a glimpse of an open-faced gold cap on his incisor. “Notunless they bring snacks.”

Ismile over atZakwarmly.Mystomach flutters when he returns it.

“Howcome you haven’t settled down with a nice girl and started your own brood?You’dmake a wonderful daddy.”

Hischeerfulness falters. “Itried that a couple years ago.Kindabackfired.”

Ihave to look away, at anything in the opposite direction. “Isaid a nice girl,”Ismart under my breath.Ithitches beforeIcan muster the next question. “Youhaven’t dated since?”

Hehesitates. “No.”

Ihave to clear the sudden thickness in my throat. “Yourlast girl sounds like a bitch.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, letting his head fall back against the wall with athud. “ButIlove her.”Hesnorts. “GuessIget whyShannonhandled things the way he did.”

Mythroat seizes, andIstop breathing.Imake myself sip moreCrownto burn all the emotions threatening to project all over myself and the fucking floor.

Butit’s too late.

“Idon't know howIcould go on if tonight was your last.”

Zak’shead lifts in my periphery. “Youleft me without telling me why.Hell, you never even actually broke up with me—you just said you quit the band, left town, and didn’t return my calls or texts.Whywould things change now ifIdied?”

“Becauseit’d meanI’dnever have the chance to apologize,”Iwhisper asIstare at the dark bedspread.

Zakpauses, taking theCrownfrom my hand and taking the longest gulp.Acap screws, and glass slides over wood, but he stays silent.

Iglance over my shoulder, finding him watching me.

Hisbrows raise, and so does his hand. “Well?”

Turningaway, my tongue wets my bottom lip. “I’msorry,Z.I’msorry for embarrassing you and running.Forcutting you out the wayIdid and not answering when you called.”

Fat, hot tears roll down my cheeks, and my lip trembles asIforce the courage to confess up from my gullet.Withit comes a gut-wrenching sob that shakes me, butImake myself turn to face the oneInever should’ve wronged, ever.

Imight be a goddamn coward, butIowe him this much.Iowe looking him in the eye and admitting how muchIfucked up.

Zak’sheartbreak forming on his face all over again blurs, worsening asItry to blink away the tears.

“I’mso sorryIcheated on you,”Ifinally blubber. “Igot too drunk and too high, andIregret every bit of it.Iregret leaving.Iregret everything.”

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