Page 94 of Give Me What I Want

“Right, let’s go and deal with this shit then,” he decided, tossing back the covers. “Honestly, I just wanted a little nap in my own bed, but you lot…” He got up and stomped to the door. “Bloody useless.”

He stormed down the stairs with me following fast behind him and went crashing into the lounge, putting an instant halt to Bea and Ro’s screaming argument. “Do I have to do everything around here?” he asked, but it wasn’t a question, that much was clear to all of us from his sharp tone.

Bea flopped onto the sofa, giving him an apologetic half-smile. But Ro decided to speak up. “We have it handled, go and relax.”

“How can I relax whenthisis going on?” Mav shouted, his face turning red.

Ro crossed his arms, bulging biceps flexing in his tight black tee, single brow raised as his eyes locked on mine. “You could relax ifsomeonehadn’t come running to you looking for a hero. I’ve got this.”

I almost stood up for myself, but I didn’t get the chance when Mav stepped in front of me. “Cole didn’t come running, he needed an escape, and I don’t blame him. So stop acting like a big, scary bastard, and sit the fuck down.”

“Yousit down,” Ro snarled, stepping closer to Mav, fire in his eyes.

“Both of you sit down,” I snapped,finally.

They both looked at me, jaws slack, heads cocked as they fell silent and stared at me in bewilderment.

“Now!” I bellowed.

“Fuck me,” Mav gasped, and the pair of them sat, hypothetical tails tucked between their legs as they closed their mouths and waited. Waited formeto say something.

I didn’t know what to say… I was too shocked that they had actually listened to me, and that I had exploded. I never let out big feelings like that. I always just let them rip each other apart, a little plea here and there. I had mastered a look that made Bea hesitate when she’d argue with Ro, and sometimes Mav would take a step back when I asked him to, if only to compose himself and arrange his thoughts properly. But this was new.

I didn’t actually like it.

“What are we going to do then?” I asked, joining them, resting my elbows on my knees as I sat on the edge of the sofa beside Bea and swept my gaze over each of my bandmates.

Waiting…

“I think…” Bea said, her voice soft, quiet, shaky. “We all know already. I think it’s time.”

26

The Christmas break came and went, we attended interviews, put out the special edition album, and even played a show for my sister. It had been the busiest December of my life, and tomorrow we were making the biggest announcement of our careers. The label had agreed, thanks to a few aggressive threats thrown their way from Ronan and his ‘lawyer’—who absolutely was not a lawyer, but the label were too worried to even check him out—that they would allow us to do this in our own time, whenever we saw fit.

December 31stwas the date that we had collectively agreed on, it felt fitting, and we had spent the last eight weeks preparing for it. Interviews to throw people off the scent had been conducted, ones that I had mostly done alone or with Ro, there had only been one full band interview and that had been with Maggie, she was the only reporter who knew what we had planned since tomorrow’s announcement had been pre-recorded for an up-and-coming podcast that a girl who had interned at her magazine earlier in the year was hosting.

Gwen, the host, had agreed to let Maggie join us for the chat, and two weeks ago we had all gone to this super chill little studio to record. We had hung out on comfy old sofas and had sipped tea and coffee and munched on biscuits as we chatted as though we were old friends just catching up. It was one of the best interviews I’d ever had, and I was excited for the world to finally listen in.

I had a handful of things to do today, then tomorrow morning it would go live, and everything would change. First on my list of things to do was to go shopping for a New Year’s Eve dress, since the label was throwing a party in our honour—a huge publicity opportunity—and I had been told that I wasn’t allowed to wear anything off the rack. So I was meeting with a designer that Cece’s friend Amy had some connection to in half an hour. Luckily for me, her studio was in London, not Brighton where the girls were from.

“Bea?” a familiar voice called out and Joel stepped close to my back, dressed in casual clothes to help us to blend in, but still shielding me, nonetheless. My guys all had their own tasks for the day, so I was out alone-ish.

I turned to see who it was, perhaps it was a reporter whom I’d had multiple run-ins with, or maybe an old college friend. A perfectly styled blonde woman was standing staring at me, her eyes wide, lips pulled into a fake smile. If it hadn’t been for her constant social media posts, I’d have not recognised her. She looked nothing like she had when I had left. “Oh my god, girl! I thought it was you. Damn, you’re looking good. How are you? Sorry, I’ve—”

Sabrina.

“I’m fine, Sab. I’m in a rush though.” I cut over her, keeping all emotion from my voice. It was something that I had been working on in my private therapy sessions, dealing with my explosive emotions better.

I had felt weird about Sab’s silence for all these months, but seeing her now I suddenly felt angry, really fucking angry. I wanted to scream, but instead, I took a deep, grounding breath. After all, a story about me losing my shit in the middle of the street was not on my annoyingly strict to-do list for the day.

“I’ll walk with you then,” she said cheerily, approaching me.

Joel glanced at me, waiting for me to give him a signal, and I shook my head a fraction, enough to tell him that I wouldn’t be walking anywhere with her.

“What do you want, Sab?” I asked, slipping my gloves off and pulling out my phone from my coat pocket, pretending that I had a message and that I wasn’t at all interested in what she had to say. It was the least that she deserved.

“Oh, erm…” She paused, not coming any closer, and waited for me to look up at her before she went on. “I saw the special edition album came out, why didn’t you tell me about it?”

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