Page 66 of Give Me What I Want

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” he asked, his voice dropping to a soft whisper just for me.

It was the entirely wrong moment for it, but my heart did a goddamn backflip and I smiled wide, tears pricking my eyes. Ro reallyreallycared about me, more now than ever before.

“Physically no. Emotionally…” I trailed off, shrugging and still smiling. But that smile was wiped off of my face far too quickly as Ronan grinned, then slammed his knee into Jordan’s no doubt already broken nose.

“Ronan!” I yelled. “Stop. What the hell are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking, Queenie,” he started, his voice turning to ice as he kept his focus on Jordan. “That the door is pretty thin, and this little cunt has betrayed you, me, Mav, and Cole. That he has shouted at you, intimidated you, scared you, and has the fucking audacity to make out that you’re in the wrong for wanting to know his true feelings. He deserves this and more. He needs to pay, and he needs to apologise.”

“I don’t want his apology,” I snapped, meaning it. I didn’t. I had no idea what I wanted, but an apology, it felt pointless. If Jordan uttered the word sorry, I’d lose it entirely. I’d make a rash decision, and I knew that I shouldn’t.

I needed Mav. He’d talk sense, he’d help me figure out my thoughts and feelings. He was good at that. Ro wasn’t. Ro was all act now, think later. I loved it about him, but not right now.

“You deserve his apology, so you’re going to get it. Jordan, tell my girl that you’re sorry. Tell her that you fucked up. And tell her that you don’t deserve her forgiveness. I want you to grovel at her feet, and I want her to kick you while you’re down there.” Ronan was angrier than I had ever seen him, angrier than he had ever been with me.

“Ronan, I don’t want it,” I protested loudly, making sure he could hear just how fucking much I meant it. “Just take a walk, go cool off. I’ll do the same.”

“No.” He turned to face me. “He betrayed you, you’re just gonna what? Let it go?”

“I’m not letting anything go, but you need to walk the hell away right now.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I said so, you’re not thinking, and he’s still part of this family,” I said, but those last six words felt wrong, they tasted like acid, burning. A lie.

“Is he?” Ro challenged, his brow lifting, head cocking, pitch gaze locked on mine. “Because from what I heard, he doesn’t seeusthat way, he thinks we’re just a band. All he cares about is fame. You said it yourself. You can see that.” He turned back to Jordan. “You fucked her because you were scared of getting pushed aside, didn’t you? You know how high she can take us all, and you didn’t want to get left behind.”

“Ronan,” I snarled, not wanting to hear him spell out what I was already piecing together, but then Jordan nodded, and my throat filled with bile.

“You thought you could keep your string of girls too though, didn’t you? Had your cake and ate it like the opportunistic little prick that you are.” Ronan was growling into Jordan’s face, down in a low crouch.

“Stop.” I couldn’t listen to him, wouldn’t let him utter the words I could see coming.You used her. “Stop. Go for a walk before you go too far.”

Ronan straightened up, then closed in on me. “Hewent too far. Kick him out, expose his shit. End him, now.”

“Just because I’m used to you shouting at me,” I said, pushing up onto tip toes, my chin still barely higher than his nipple. “Doesn’t mean I’ll take it right now. You had a problem withhimdoing it.” I pointed at Jordan. “So why do you think it’s okay for you to.”

“It’s what we do,” he reasoned.

“Not today, Ro. Now take a fucking walk.” I spoke slowly. Loud and clear in my command.

“Deal with this shit first,” he argued.

“No. Get the hell out.” I placed my hands firmly on his chest, not pushing him away, but not allowing him any closer either.

Ronan looked down at my hands, then growled deep in his throat. “Make me.”

So I shoved. I shoved him with everything that I had, and I felt my stomach cramp with the effort of it. He didn’t budge, didn’t move a goddamn inch, and then he was smirking.

“Out!” I screeched. “Both of you, get the fuck out.”

I couldn’t take it. I needed space. Air. Vodka. No. Water. No, no, no. None of that, I needed…

“Mav,” I cried out when I saw him appear in the doorway, his sweat-coated skin glistening, face red, eyes filled with confusion as he took us all in. “Get them out, and keep them away from each other.” I pleaded, my hands trembling as I felt myself begin to fall apart.

He looked at me, his green eyes searching mine. He was waiting for an explanation, but when my bottom lip quivered, and tears filled my eyes, he nodded sharply, then grabbed Ronan, his forearm banding around my fake-boyfriend’s throat, choking him out as he dragged him backwards from the room.

Ronan looked about ready to commit murder, but then Cole was there too, waiting further down the bus, ready to intervene. Between them both, they restrained Ronan, and Jordan was free to escape.

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