Page 50 of Give Me What I Want

A second finger joined Cole’s first, and I threw my head forward, forehead pressing into his throat as I moaned loudly and felt my legs begin to tremble. They started to battle inside me, fingers twisting, stretching, making me fucking dizzy. I lifted my head enough to look up at Cole for a fleeting moment, taking in the pure excitement in his face, that beautiful face, a chin I hadn’t seen in years, chiselled and smooth. Then I was biting down on his left pec as I came. Hard. Fast. Flooding. Soaking their fingers as I spasmed around them, shaking and pulsing until they pulled out of me simultaneously.

Then, as I looked between them, I almost fucking died. Both men were standing there with their goddamn fingers in their mouths, moaning with pleasure as they sucked and licked up every drop of me that coated them.

“Satisfied?” Ro rumbled.

“Very,” I panted, and Cole smirked, then kissed my forehead and turned away, making a start at clearing out the sink, just like Ro had instructed.

“Get your ass in the bedroom, Queenie,” Ro whispered, and this time, I did as I was told. Calling back to Cole to tell him I’d be wanting that face ride later on, and promising to let him fill whatever hole he wanted until we both had nothing left to give.

My poor pussy was going to need an ice bath come tomorrow morning. Especially if the text I found on my phone from Mav moments later was anything to go by.

Mav

I need you to scream like that for me too. Come find me when Ro’s done.

Fuck.

14

There was a wrinkle in my shirt, a deep one running from the hem to just below my right pec. The shirt should have been steamed this morning, but I had deliberately waited until the last possible moment to get myself dressed, so I hadn’t noticed, not until I had fastened the final button and attempted to smooth the tight white fabric down my body.

“It’ll settle,” Bea assured me as she came up behind me and splayed her hand across my stomach, hiding the worst of the wrinkle with her dainty tattooed fingers. “And if it doesn’t no one will know.”

“I’ll know,” I grumbled, spreading my hand over hers, covering it entirely with ease.

“I could go at it with my straighteners if you want, but we’re running short on time.” Bea’s hold tightened, her body pressing even closer to my back, warm, but not yet comforting, no matter how badly I wanted it to be.

Shaking my head, I laced my fingers with hers and turned, facing her but not dropping my head, refusing to meet her eye. I couldn’t look at anyone. I hadn’t looked at Cole when he had come in to find his own shirt, or Jordan when he had brought me a drink. Ro was the only one who had kept his distance from me this morning, and I was glad of it. It was nice, I supposed, that my bandmates cared about me and my uncle, but it didn’t help me. They cared too much, and every time I thought about how sad they all seemed, I wanted to break.

But more than that, I wanted to be strong. I wanted to get through his funeral without falling apart.

So I kept my head high, eyes never drifting down to Bea’s face, and guided her out of the bedroom. I looked straight past Cole as he got up from the table where we usually ate, wobbling as the bus swayed over a bump in the road.

“Mum’s outside the church now, want me to start the call?” he asked, then cleared his throat. “Or do you need a minute?”

“I need a drink,” I said, emotionless and flat.

“On it,” Cole said cheerily. I could tell it was forced, fake, and I wasn’t sure if I preferred it to the sadness I heard in his voice when I had first emerged from the bedroom.

Before I could decide, he was placing a cold glass in my hand. The scent of bourbon hit me as I raised the glass and I paused, glancing down into the dark liquid and swallowing hard before I pressed the rim to my lips and threw the contents back in one long, burning mouthful.

I slammed the glass down on the table, then sat, ignoring the atmosphere on the bus. It felt as though everyone had collectively been holding their breath, but then I looked across the table, past the iPad propped on a stand before me, and met Ronan’s dark gaze. He didn’t blink, didn’t move, just stared at me with a harshness to his face that filled me with unexpected strength. His expression didn’t say ‘you can do this’. No, Ro’s eyes demanded that Iwoulddo this. There was no fucking can about it.

I inclined my head to him, just enough for him to relax back in the chair, hanging his elbow over the back of it as he pursed his lips and slowly drew his attention away from me, looking up to Bea who was hovering at the end of the table.

“Where do you want me?” she asked, looking between the two of us.

“Mav’s choice,” Ro said, low and even.

I closed my eyes and thought. Who did I want beside me? Did I want anyone at all? Then Cole came to my back, placed his hands on my shoulders, and squeezed.

“Let her comfort you,” Cole whispered.

“Is that the best idea?” Jordan piped up, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching us from under his flop of hair. “She’s supposed to bedatingRonan, people talk.” He spat the word dating, and my gaze shot up, cutting into his, venom filling my mouth.

But before I could strike him with my words, Ro was standing, giving Jordan a stern look, and rounding the table. “Bea, sit your ass down,” he instructed. “Cole, move along. And you, get over here.” He jabbed his finger at Jordan and then at the floor beside him as he sidled up next to Cole, shoulders pressed up close together, ass perched on the sideboard behind him. “We’re all here, all in view if anyone decided to look at Cole’s mums’ phone, so no one can say shit. Bea will comfort Mav, and we will stand here, shut up, and pay our fucking respects to one of the greatest men any of us have ever met.”

Bea sat beside me, took my hand, and looked up over her shoulder at Ronan. The heat between them was almost suffocating, but I didn’t mind right now. It wasn’t the time or place, but he had just gone all sergeant major, and that shit was hot. I couldn’t blame her for that reaction.

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