Page 13 of Give Me What I Want

I joined Cole’s steady rhythm, plucking strings, and intensifying the rumble rolling around the venue. My heart rate picked up and my chest heaved once before it settled, and I could continue to play. Moments later Mav joined in, Jordan followed a few seconds after, and then Bea screamed. The almighty shriek that opened up our first song of the night. Then it was velvet. Our lyrics poured from her goddamn soul as she grasped the mic in its stand, widened her stance, and let go.

Seconds turned into minutes, riffs turned into completed songs, and before I knew it, we were reaching Maverick’s solo in “Cupid’s Bullet”. The solo that I had written the day I had met our Queenie. A solo that had no place until she gave it one.

I watched on from my side of the stage as she turned her attention his way, pushing her slightly damp, re-curled hair back from her face, and grinning at him as his fingers began to move expertly along the neck of his guitar. And then he was approaching her. Their gaze locked. She held onto the mic stand and in a moment that shocked me more than anything else, he dropped to her fucking feet. His knees hit the ground, but he didn’t miss a single beat. Still playing, his eyes remained locked on hers until she closed hers and threw her head back with a laugh. Excited cheers filled the venue. Then her hand fell to his face.

As I looked at him at her feet, pale denim jeans and white tank top, looking like the angel to her devil, gazing up at her like a fucking lovesick puppy while she caressed his chin, something strange came over me. Something burned through my body and made my stomach twist. Her dainty fingers slid away from his chin, and she bit down on her lower lip as she pushed her hand through his hair, fisting the blonde mess on top of his head and yanking his head further back. His tongue darted between his teeth, a reminder that he wasn’t an angel at all, and his fingers moved faster, his solo dragging out for longer than usual. The cheers from the crowd got louder, girls were screaming, men cheering, and I… I was seeing fucking red.

Before I could stop myself, I released my bass, shoved it to my back, and stormed across the stage. When I reached her, I took her throat in my hand, slid my thumb and finger up to her jaw, and sharply twisted her face. Her gaze met mine. A question parted her lips. And I was gone.

Crashing. Colliding. Claiming.

5

Ronan’s mouth pressed hard against mine, intense and demanding. Then his tongue was pushing against the seam of my lips. He wasn’t gentle with me, and I parted my lips for him far more willingly than I’d have ever expected to. Was it shock? Was it need? Was it just that I was a horny mess because tonight’s set had done incredible things to my body? I wasn’t sure.

The only thing that I was sure of was that I was struggling to breathe. And part of me kinda liked it.

I was lost to this man. This man who had been a source of frustration and release in my life for so long. A man that had been on a journey to the top with me, had stood by my side, became my family when I had felt so entirely alone. I was drowning in his kiss. And I really fucking shouldn’t have been.

His grip slid from my jaw back down to my throat and tightened just a fraction. I moaned against his lips and felt him smirking back before he pulled away, tugged my in-ear-monitor out, and whispered hoarsely into my ear. “Careful, Your Majesty. We still have four more songs to go, do you think your panties will make it to the end?”

I gasped, wondering if heknew.Had Cole told? Did they all secretly know what our music could do to me? Or was he simply referring to the fact that he had just kissed me like he wanted so much more from me, like what we had was real? Was my fake boyfriend trying to tell me something, or was it just for show?

Why had he decided to do it now if it was just for show? Why not any other moment over the last couple of weeks? Had he been told to do it? If he had, why had no one filled me in?

I quickly brushed off his question, managing to compose myself while rolling my eyes at him and running a sharp, black nail under my lip to clean up my no doubt smudged lipstick.

“What makes you think I’m even wearing any?” A grin spread over my face as I sucked my finger and swiped it over his lips, making him freeze on the spot and scowl at me. I held my damp, red finger before his eyes and he shook his head. Then his hand was locking around my wrist and my finger was in his mouth. His tongue swirled around me, and I felt a new rush of heat flood my body before I hooked my finger and tugged sharply down. His jaw slackened and he pushed my finger with the tip of his tongue then sighed heavily. A silent sign that I had won whatever silly game he had started to play with me.

I slipped my finger out of his mouth, and everything suddenly came into focus around me. The sound of the crowd, the pause in our song. I turned to find Mav back on his feet, staring at me expectantly, his face not giving anything away about how he felt about what had just happened. I glanced over my shoulder to Cole, his face mirrored Mav’s, his drumsticks spinning in circles between his fingers as he waited for me. My attention drew back to Ronan, who was stepping backwards, tugging his bass back around to his front. There was nothing on his face either. It was only when I looked past him that I found any reaction.

Jordan’s face was twisted with disgust. His top lip peeled back as he shook his head, dark hair falling into his eyes, eyes that burned straight through me, and then he shouted at me, his voice only audible to the people on the stage. “Hurry the fuck up, Beatrix.”

I swallowed hard, wanting to go to him, to wipe that look off of his face, but he was right, I needed to hurry the fuck up and get my stupid horny ass back into the show. So I grabbed my in-ear, shoved it back in, and turned to face the crowd. I didn’t apologise. I didn’t say a single goddamn word. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders, flicked my hair back, and began to sing.

My voice alone filled the venue, and it took a solid ten seconds for anyone to join me. Then Cole came in and I laughed headily through the next line as he wound me up by doing that one thing with the crash symbol that heknewwithout fail would have me hot and bothered. I grabbed my mic and approached each of my bandmates as I sang, assessing them until I decided that Cole genuinely was the only one who knew. None of them had secretive smirks or mischief in their eyes. What Ronan had said wasn’t about my secret turn-on. It was all about him.

Of fucking course it was.

Of course his ego wasthatbig. Ronan was the cockiest prick I had ever met. He was full of himself. Everything Ronan did was done with such certainty it was insane. And for some messed up reason, it was one of the things that I liked most about him.

Confidence.

It was something that I had, but something that didn’t come naturally. I had worked damn hard to be the woman I was today, to be able to gaze upon a crowd of adoring fans and know that I belonged up on that stage and that their love for me was something I deserved. It had taken even more for me to become the type of woman who didn’t give a shit what a man thought of her and was able to find her voice in any situation.

All of that shit came so naturally to Ronan that it was a wonder he didn’t spontaneously combust with it all. Some days I wished he would. But then I’d remember that he’d need to be replaced, and his shoes would be a nightmare to fill. So I was glad that he could handle all of his own‘awesomeness’.

Three songs later I was panting, and sweat was trickling down my back. I felt as though I had just sped through the last few songs, not even taking notice of the fun the crowd was having with the balloon drop that we always saved for the final chorus of “You Have A Good Day”. I was desperate to get off stage, but I wasn’t entirely sure why.

“Thank you for having us tonight, Paradiso. You’ve been amazing, and honestly, so have we.” I laughed as I winked, and the guys started to crowd around me. Mav’s arm wrapped around my shoulder first, then Ronan came up from the other side, his fingers sliding along my damp back and curling around my waist. They were cold. Cold enough for me to shudder slightly as they brushed the exposed sliver of skin between my skirt and crop top, making Ronan laugh lightly. Cole came to Mav’s other side, and Jordan joined Ronan, all slinging arms over each other shoulders as they pulled me down into a low bow.

Mav began to speak to the fans next, charming them in a way taught to him by my best friend, and I grinned up at him as he flirted with a few thousand strangers. My grin was banished fast though, I hissed a sharp breath and almost gave myself whiplash and my head swivelled to face Ronan. His fingers were pinched together, a tiny bit of my skin between them while he gave me a stern glare.

What the fucking fuck was that for?

I voiced my question in a low, harsh whisper, and his expression morphed into one of confusion. He released me, and my flesh chilled as his arm dropped entirely, his hold no longer on me at all. I wanted to reach behind myself and grab his hand, wrap it back around me, but I didn’t, why the fuck should I? A second later though, he was dropping a kiss to the top of my head, sending the crowd wild. Lights flashed, and I knew that it wasn’t part of our show, those flashes were from cameras, cameras attempting to capture another rare moment between me and my… Myfakeboyfriend.

That was what he was.

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