Page 65 of Give Me What I Want

“But not you and me? Huh, Jord. Suddenly it’s a good idea when you’re the one getting a taste.” My top lip peeled back, disgust athimclear on my face.

“I shouldn’t have done it. I regret it now.”

“Regret what? Fucking me, or fucking me over?” I grabbed his face again, but he swatted my hand away, locking his fingers around my wrist as he stared down at me.

“Fucking you over,” he whispered.

“Then why did you do it in the first fucking place, Jordan? Why?” I yelled.

“Everything was changing. If I gave in like they had… I… I saw a future that I didn’t like, and I was scared. Please don’t tell the others,” he croaked with watery eyes.

“Scared of what? No one was forcing you to do anything, to be anything. You weren’t going to lose anything worth having, so what the hell were you so scared of? What made you act that way, do those things, and then come to me now?”

“I didn’t want us to fall apart.”

“We haven’t, we won’t.” I glared at him, shaking my head.

“I wanted my freedom,” he whispered.

“And you thought I wouldn’t give you that?”

“I want… you can’t…please, I…”

Realisation dawned on me. “By freedom, you mean girls. For years, any girl you wanted you had. The girls only come with the fame.” I stepped back, ripping my wrist out of his hold, then began to pace. “The fame means more to you than any of us do.”

“That isn’t true,” he protested, his voice raising louder than mine.

“Yes, it is, Jordan. If I told you tomorrow that I was done, that Deity would no longer exist, what would you do?”

“That isn’t going to happen.”

“It could. Tell me, what would you do?” I stopped pacing, frowning at him. “Would you stick by us, or would you walk away and find yourself a new set of coattails to ride on?”

“Coattails? Are you saying I’m just tagging on to the ass end of your success?” He closed in on me, ducking his head to look me in the eye. I had pissed him off, but he fucking deserved it, and then some.

“I wasn’t, but if you see us the way I think you do, then yes, maybe Iamsaying that.”

“You’re my friends, my bandmates—”

“No. Jordan. We are afamily.” I shouted, my voice breaking as the final word ripped through me, but I wasn’t done yet. “You are part of my family, and you’ve betrayed us all. It isn’t just me who is getting hurt in all of this, it’s all of us. Do you think that Maverick really wanted to spend the day of his uncle’s funeral listening to Ro and me fixing the mess you started? He was grieving. He was a mess, and you called Maggie that very morning to spill an exclusive exposé. Do you care about any of us? Or just the name we’ve made?”

“I wasn’t going to tell Maggie anything. It was just to scare you into stopping what you were all doing.” He was shouting back, spit flying.

Crossing my arms, I glared at him just as the bedroom door started to rattle. “I don’t care if you were or weren’t going to do it, you set us up for a worse day than we had ever dreamed of. And you didn’t answer me, do you care about us, or the name?” I repeated.

“Don’t ask such stupid questions,” Jordan snapped.

A thud came from the door, but we both ignored it as I raised a brow. “It’s not a stupid question. I want an answer.”

He stepped even closer to me, fists clenched, hunching, nose pressed to mine. “I care. Okay?”

“That’s not an answer. I know you care, I’m just not sure what you care about.” I pushed his chest. “And stop trying to intimidate me.”

The door came crashing open and Ronan threw himself at Jordan, grabbing him by his hair and slamming him face-first into the wall. Blood poured from Jordan’s nose, and I stared in disbelief, gaze darting between the men and the busted-up door.

“How dare you!” Ronan roared, his fingers still twisted in Jordan’s hair as he pulled him away from the wall and kicked his knees, sending the guitarist buckling to the floor.

“Ro.” I stole his attention in an instant, barking his name. He turned to me, releasing Jordan and searching my face, then my body, his gaze filled with concern.

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