Page 15 of Give Me What I Want

Ronan laughed. “Naughty Jordy tried to sneak a girl in here after that show in Edinburgh a couple of years ago. He heard you. And every night you come back to us looking as calm as you did up on stage, the kind of calm a woman only gets after a satisfying orgasm. It wasn’t hard to notice the pattern and put the pieces together.”

My hands fell to my sides as I took in what he was saying, then I remembered why I had even stormed off in the first place, and quickly folded them under my breasts. Ronan’s gaze flickered to my cleavage for less than a second and a question instantly fell from my lips. “What the fuck is going on with you tonight?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I’m just reacting to your behaviour.” I took a step forward, regaining my strength and forcing him to take a step back.

“Which was a reaction toyourbehaviour.” He frowned, then took two steps forward, having realised what I’d done and knocking me backwards through the doorway.

“What behaviour?” I snapped.

Ronan stepped again and I had to unfold my arms to stop myself from wobbling as his body pressed hard against mine. “You and him. Whatwasthat?”

Thinking back to the moment Ronan had kissed me, I attempted to replay the seconds before. What had I done to warrant that reaction? We were in the middle of “Cupid’s Bullet”. I had just finished screaming my way through the chorus, and I was taking a breather. I was able to pause because…

Mav.

I hadn’t expected him to fall to my feet the way he had during that solo, he had never done anything like it before, but I had rolled with it. We followed a very loose routine on stage and improvised a lot to make sure that we didn’t bore the fans who would follow us from venue to venue. Mav had just spiced things up a little tonight, and okay, I may have gotten a little lost in that moment. I knew that the way I had grabbed Mav’s hair might have been a little too much, but I’d have probably done it to any of them if they’d been down on their knees on that stage. Especially with how things had been between us all since Ronan and I had started ‘dating’. The other guys had been keeping me at arm’s length and it had gone from being upsetting to irritating, so it was no wonder I had lapped up that attention.

It wasn’t just me who had enjoyed it either. The crowd had gone crazy for it, they no doubt saw me as a goddess being worshipped. A Deity. It was the perfect act. But it had donesomethingunexpected to Ronan.

“A show,” I said firmly, feeling a bubble of annoyance at his question now that I had realised what he had been referring to. “You know, those things we put on night after night to pay our bills and buy nice things.”

“Nice things like pretty pink vibrators?” Ronan’s gaze flicked across the room to the bedside table once again and I huffed.

“Yes, exactly like that,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“So it was just for show?” he asked, his gaze locking on mine, narrowing with suspicion.

“Yes, it was just for show.” Even if I had kinda liked how I had felt, Mav wasn’t into me, and I wasn’t into him, I didn’t think. Maybe there had been times that I’d considered what it might be like to kiss him, but that was normal. Wasn’t it? I had thought about kissing Cole and Jordan and Ronan too. They were hot and I was human. But they were my bandmates first and foremost, so I wouldn’t act on it.

But Ronan had.

He had acted on it.

Acted...

His gaze was softening slightly, but it hardened again as I questioned him.

“Was what you did just for show too?” It would make sense. I was supposed to be his ‘girlfriend’ and I had been sharing a moment with another man that was, well, pretty hot. He had surely only kissed me for show.

I couldn’t understand the fury that I saw swirl in his dark eyes as the air grew thicker between us. His jaw tensed, the sharp line of it looking like it could cut glass, or skin. Shit, he really looked like he wanted to hurt me. But why?

“Did itfeellike it was just for show?” He ground the words out in a low rumble that vibrated through his firm chest and stole my breath away.

I needed space. Space from his intensely angry glare. Space from his body, pressed so hard against mine, both of us so stubborn, so combative. I needed to breathe, but I could sense that he wasn’t going to let me until I answered him.

He confirmed my suspicion as his fingers trailed lightly up my bare arm, over my shoulder, and up my neck. Then he was gripping my face, his hold strong. A firm and almost painful reminder of what he had done to me on stage tonight. He wasn’t letting me move until I confessed what I had felt.

“No,” I whispered, my lips barely moving, eyes locked on his, watching the fury fade away, only to be replaced with a look I had only been graced with once before. Once, less than an hour ago. It was that same look he’d had in his eyes before his lips had collided with mine. The answer to the question I hadn’t had a chance to voice.

Except this time, I did. “What are you doing?” I whispered, swallowing hard, desperate to blink but unable to look away.

“Whatever I fucking want,” he growled, and then he was kissing me.

I let him, only for a moment, before I shoved him off of me. He stumbled back a step, a furious look on his face. I was panting. Fuckingpanting. From a simple kiss. Although there was nothing simple about it. About the way his lips felt. The electric way my body lit up for him. The entire fucking situation that we were in. We were worlds away from simple. And that shit scared me.

“Why are you pushing me away?” His was voice even, devoid of all emotion, I couldn’t tell if he was disappointed or angry.

---