Page 39 of Exception

He glances over at me, but his eyes quickly swivel back to Polly as they take their seats at a table at the far end of the bar. It’s shadowed back there, and I wonder why the fuck they don’t wanna sit where they can see each other. If I were her, I’d want to see Chase as clear as day. My eyes would take all week to rove over the planes of him.

I force myself to focus on making this customer his drink and then take another order. I’m smiling and acting aloof when in reality, my eyes constantly pivot to the end of the bar in the shadows where Chase sits.

I’m so focused on him that I don’t even notice when Polly walks up to the bar and leans against it.

“Hey, Holden,” she says and then frowns when she sees a random guy leering at her. I shoot him a glower. I may not like that Polly is here with Chase, but I don’t want this dude to be a dick.

“Hey, Polly. What can I get you?” I ask.

“Oh, hm, well, Chase wants a beer, and I’ll have one of those special pomegranate drinks you made for me a few weeks ago.”

I want to refuse just to be petty, but end up nodding instead. “What kind of beer does Chase want tonight?” And why couldn’t he be bothered to come up here himself and ask? Is he watching me now? Are those eyes on me as I move around the bar?

Honestly, I’ve never been upset by the lighting in this place, but I am now. Could the owners invest in some lamps? I mean, it’s not like they don’t have the money.

“Well, he said he’s easy…so whatever works, I guess.”

My jaw works back and forth in irritation because I know he prefers light beers. But why is he telling Polly that he’ll have whatever? Is he trying to impress her, I wonder as I decide on a strong ale and fill up a glass.

“You okay there?” Polly asks, concern on her pretty face, and I just dumbly nod.

“Yep. Why you here with him?” I ask, trying to be subtle but not really succeeding. My words are a little too biting, and I can feel my cheeks heat at the realization.

Polly must see it because her eyes narrow in suspicion, and she leans a little closer. “Why you wanna know, Holden?”

I huff and set about making the drink she ordered, wanting to add a little less alcohol, but I’m not able to bring myself to do it. I am a professional bartender. I don’t do shit like that.

When I set the drink in front of her, she asks, “What happened between you two?”

“Nothing,” I say, and that’s the truth of it. Nothing did happen. But it feels like something has. He’s wormed his way into my chest and is making me feel things. My heart thumps unsteadily behind my ribs, and I press against it.

Fuck. If I have a full-blown panic attack here I am going to riot.

“You know, he’s a really nice guy. Like super nice.”

“I know that.”

I do. I know it, and that’s why someone like him shouldn’t be with someone like me. I’m too fucked up, too broken. I don’t deserve it. I really don’t.

You’re a real pain in my ass, you know that. And so fucking annoying.

“He’s a catch. You should go for it,” I say, and Polly cocks her head, looking at me intently.

“Yeah, you think?”

I swallow and nod. “Yeah. Totally.”

And then I turn my back and walk to the other side of the bar. I will not stare at where Polly and Chase are tucked in the dim corner of the bar. I won’t. I’m gonna pretend that they don’t exist and move the fuck on with my life. Maybe I’ll find Cade later and make up for my loss of brain function earlier. She can have Chase.

She can fucking have him.

CHAPTERTEN

Chase

My eyelids peel back the next morning, a terrible headache splitting my skull. Probably from all the dark ales Holden kept giving me, one right after the other. It felt a little passive-aggressive because I specifically remember telling Holden what kind of beer I like, and yet, each time Polly brought back a darker ale. I don’t understand why he was doing that. He’s the one who told me to leave because he had a fuck-date in a pool under a waterfall.

After he sucked me off.

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