Page 10 of Bad Reputation

He cracks his knuckles. I swallow, trying not to listen to the voice inside my head that remembers all too well what those hands can do. How much pleasure they can wring out of my body, for hours on end.

“Okay… let’s see… first you need to find the integer…” I say. I guide him through the process, doing several different problems.

Jameson hunches over the table, watching me work. He’s making me nervous, but I refuse to let it show. I just don’t look him in the eye, focusing instead on the paper and pen.

He asks a couple of questions, stopping me with a hand on my forearm. His warm fingers touch the bare skin of my wrist the second time, and my pulse jumps like a scared rabbit.

He glances at me, but I just move my arm away, clear my throat, and continue.

“I think I get it. Or at least, I understand enough to take the GED,” he says.

I glance up at him, meeting his warm chocolate gaze. For the barest second, I am lost in his eyes, falling deep into them. He doesn’t break the connection, either.

He just stares at me for a few seconds. I can tell there is something that he wants to say, but he doesn’t say anything. And I’m too much of a chicken to ask him what he’s thinking.

I avert my gaze. “Umm, do you think we should study science now?”

Clearing his throat, he nods. “Yeah. Uh… yeah. I’m studying physical science now, figuring out velocity and speed. It’s… challenging.”

“Great,” I say, with forced cheer. Inside, I’m thinking that I wish I hadn’t agreed to even come here. But I don’t want him to know that. “Velocity it is!”

Jameson slides me a suspicious look as he gets out his science textbook. He opens it, but splays his hand over the page.

“Are you okay?”

His black-brown eyes search my face.

“Always,” I counter, tapping the textbook to draw his attention back there. “Come on, let’s study the basics of physics.”

I brush his hand out of the way and begin reading. He eventually switches his focus to what we’re reading. I stop several times, expelling the dynamics of what we are talking about more in depth. He listens and nods, asking a question here and there.

We go through the important bits of velocity and speed, and then I walk him through some of the mathematical equations that the book offers. I have him do a few sample problems.

At one point, when he’s bent over the paper and scrawling out his answer, I sigh. It is a sort of longing sound, totally accidental and not really provoked by any one particular thing.

It’s just Jameson, as a whole. Watching him do anything is pretty pleasurable, but watching him learn something new? Something that I can help him with?

It’s almost swoon-worthy. So I sigh.

He looks up at me, and I turn pink. Busted.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I respond, shaking my head. “Nothing, go on.”

“You’re being weird,” he says.

“No, I’m not.” I take a sip of my latte, as if that will save me from my own awkwardness.

“You are!” he insists. He puts the pen down. “Why are you being weird?”

“Jameson—” I start, annoyed that we’re even having this conversation.

He gives me a hard look. I squirm a little bit in my chair. He drops his voice.

“You know, just because we’re not fucking each other anymore, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. I’m still the same person.”

My face turns scarlet in an instant. “Jameson, you just… you are not following the proper breakup protocol in the least.”

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