Page 68 of Bad Reputation

“I love you,” I say, feverishly kissing his lips.

He tries to say something back, probablyI love you too. But I’m not listening, not even one little bit. This man, this wonderful man who just makes my entire world complete, has many more kisses to receive.

And I happen to be the lucky girl that gets to deliver them.

26

Emma

Isigh, turning over to look at Jameson. It’s really late, or maybe really early. The street lamp outside casts its glow onto his face, the blinds on the window causing it to fall in little stripes.

The light catches my engagement ring as I turn, throwing rainbows on the bed. I bite my lip. I’m still not used to the idea of belonging to him, or of wearing his ring.

I scrunch up my face at the ring. Not that anyone could possibly make me take it off or anything… but I have to wonder what Asher will say. Or my parents.

Or anyone, really. I mean, I haven’t tried to not tell anyone. It’s just been a challenge to leave the bedroom for the last couple of days. Every time I get up, Jameson pulls me back in with a lure that works every time.

I blush, recalling all the hours of hot, sweaty sex. And it’s Jameson — realistically, the sex could just be okay and I would still be thrilled that he finally chose me. The fact that he put a ring on it was just…

I don’t even have the words to explain to anyone else how fucking elated I am. If you asked thirteen year old me how she saw things playing out between Jameson and me, I really don’t think she would’ve come up with this as a scenario. That’s how in awe I am of it.

But I’m still worried. Worried about how Asher will react, that it will go beyond just a lot of yelling. Worried that my parents will scare Jameson off somehow.

I sigh again, and Jameson cracks open an eye. “Are you sighing passive aggressively at me, or actually worried about something?”

I turn pink. “Ohhh, sorry! No, I’m not being passive aggressive. I didn’t realize you could hear me.”

He opens his eyes a little further, moving to sit up. “What’s on your mind, oh wife to be?”

“You won’t like it.”

“I’m already awake at four in the morning. Obviously it’s enough to keep you tossing and turning even after hours of sex. So how about you just tell me what it is?”

I look down at the bed, tracing a figure eight in the sheets. “I uh… I’m more than a little worried about what Asher will do when he finds out. I mean… I just don’t want anything else to come between us, you know?”

His brow puckers. “You’re worried that he will do something that makes me not want to marry you?”

“No. Well, maybe. I don’t know.” I refuse to look up at him, even though I can feel his eyes on my face.

He scoots closer, using two fingers to lift up my chin. I stare at his black-brown eyes, so perplexed with me at this moment.

“What would he do? I can’t imagine a single thing that Asher could do that would change how I feel in here.” He taps his chest. “I know that I’ve let you down before—”

My eyes well up and my lip starts to tremble. “You guys have so much history together… how can I hope to overcome that?”

He smiles. “You have overcome it. That’s what you don’t understand, I think. I’m in it, Em. I am in this, with you, forever. End of story.”

“Jameson—” I whisper, a tear breaking free to track down my face. I love what he is saying, but I’m afraid at the same time. “Don’t say it. I don’t think you mean it, not all the way. What if— what if my parents are horrible and nasty to you? What if Asher won’t ever talk to you again? What if—”

I break off, stifling a sob. Jameson wipes away the tear from my face and ever so gently kisses my lips.

“Shh,” he says, comforting me. “I know I hurt you. And I wish like hell every single day that I hadn’t. I just… I realized that you were right.”

I’m actively just sobbing in his arms now. When I speak, it comes out all strangled, and broken up by hiccups. “I.. I was?”

He pushes my hair back off my forehead. “Yes. You asked when I was going to be done owing Asher. It didn’t quite sink in then, but later… I realized that you were right. I get the feeling that you’re almost always right about things like that.”

I snuggle in closer to his neck, getting a big lungful of his scent. I try to calm down as much as possible. “Oh.”

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