Page 42 of Bad Reputation

I raise myself up, putting my chin in my hand. “I think we’ve both suffered our fair share.”

He frowns. “We shouldn’t have, though. We should’ve just rode off into the sunset together, and never looked back.”

I bite my lip, glancing away. “But if you weren’t concerned for Asher, you wouldn’t be you.”

“You are too goddamned forgiving.” He twines his fingers with mine, which only serves to remind me how much bigger he is than me. “Your brother probably won’t be so nice.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Asher? No, probably not. Although he has had his head up his own ass lately. He probably has zero idea that we’re even… like…”

I trail off. Jameson kisses my neck, and I’m happy enough to let that particular topic of conversation fall by the wayside. I close my eyes as he sucks and bites my neck for a second.

“What did my brother do to get you so… mmm… devoted?” I ask.

The kisses stop as Jameson pauses for a second. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, like… I don’t know. I figured that he must have helped you bury a body or something, the way you care what he thinks.”

His brow furrows as he considers my words. “Asher didn’t earn my loyalty by doing me a single favor. He did a whole series of them, from the day my grandma died until Gunnar went off to college. I think… I think maybe you missed some of the really hard stuff, like when I was trying to decide between feeding my brothers and making rent. And it was like that foryears. I just kept thinking, this will be the day that this rich kid washes his hands of us. But he never did.”

I bite my lip. “I had no idea that you felt that way, Jameson.”

“Did you know that Asher helped me get my first bar backing job? Or an apartment, before I had enough credit? How about the time that he snuck us into the guest house so that I could save up some money? He literally saved us from starvation three times a year for almost ten years. And that’s just the stuff I can put a dollar amount on… it doesn’t include years and years of hearing me bitch about stuff that I found unfair.”

I shake my head. “No, I didn’t know about that. I’m guessing that you feel indebted to him still?”

He blows out a breath. “Yeah. I mean… how do you even start to pay that back? You can’t, not really. All you can do is—”

“What you’ve been doing,” I fill in, nodding. “Just being there, and being a good friend. I really do get that part, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it.”

He closes his eyes for a minute, running his hand through his short dark hair. “What else am I supposed to do? How do I repay that debt?”

I purse my lips. “Have you talked to Asher about it?”

He just shakes his head silently.

“Have you considered that he might not feel like you owe him some massive debt? He may feel that he gave you those things because he had them to give.” I pause, thinking. “There’s also the possibility that he may feel that he got something out of the deal, too. I know for a fact that you two got busted together for fighting on the playground plenty of times. I guarantee you that Asher’s scrawny ass didn’t do most of the fighting.”

He smiles faintly at that, opening his dark eyes. “You should’ve seen how awkward he was as a middle schooler. Talking to girls was a real problem for him.”

“And how did he get past that? My bet is that you had something to do with it.”

“Maybe.” He shrugs one shoulder. “That’s still next to nothing, comparatively.”

I sigh, letting the subject drop. I screw my face up, thinking.

“Can I ask you a weird question?”

He looks at me sideways. “Of course.”

“When did you first look at me and think that I was hot?” I blush as I say it.

Jameson shifts me off of his chest and turns so that he’s lying on his side. “That’s a complex question.”

“I don’t mean it to be. I’m just curious when you noticed me. I will admit to having dirty thoughts about you as early as twelve or thirteen, probably.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

“Yeah. I know that you barely noticed me, but you were a fixture in my life for a really long time.” I hope he’s going to stay in my life for the foreseeable future and beyond… but I don’t say it.

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