Page 36 of Knight

“Thank God. I’ve missed her so much. I’ve been stuck hearing about vanilla sex from Alexandra and Gennifer for too long. I’ve missed your brand of chocolate.” We both giggle at that. Just then we both get a text notification on our respective phones. It’s our group chat with Gennifer and Alexandra:

Alexandra: It’s official. My baby was conceived via blow job. I wonder if that’s a first in history. I should call Guinness Book of Records and ask. I can’t wait to tell my child about how they were conceived.

Cassandra and I laugh. Only Alexandra.

Me: YAY!!! Congrats.

Gennifer: Mazel Tov!

Cassandra: My condolences.

I give her a dirty stare. “Be nice.”

Cassandra: And congratulations.

Cassandra and I talk and nap all afternoon after our busy nights. When I wake up, I have a text from Jackson that he wants to see me tonight. Cassandra said she has a date, so I don’t feel bad kicking her out so Jackson can come over.

He and I enjoy a bizarrely normal, quiet night at my house, laying by the fireplace, watching a movie, and eventually enjoying each other’s bodies.

CHAPTERTWELVE

DARIAN

Sunday night dinner rolls around with my girls and Cassandra. I pull Skylar aside as we’re walking into the restaurant and ask her to pick a date this week for me to meet her for lunch. She tells me that Tuesday works best for her. We arrange a time and place to meet near campus. I need to see what’s going on with her and the man she’s seeing.

We all sit down and chit-chat for a bit about our various weeks. Cassandra recounts her awful date the night before.

Apparently, the guy thought it a good idea to tell Cassandra that his ex-wife left him because he couldn’t get it up. Of all people to tell that to, Cassandra would have to be the least tolerant or understanding person.

“Can you imagine being on a date, and within the first twenty minutes he tells you that he has a sexual dysfunction?” My girls and I are all hysterically laughing.

“I really didn’t want to waste my time. Obviously, I knew the date was over right then. I was about to get up and leave, but decided to stay and have a little fun with it. He didn’t have a good personality about it though. At least own your shit. I spent the rest of our meal just fucking with him. I ordered a soft cheese platter to share with him. He didn’t crack a smile. Then I suggested he order the softshell crabs or the softshell tacos. Again, nothing.” The four of us are doubled over in a fit of laughter as Cassandra continues recapping the evening.

“After we finished the main course, I asked him if he’d like to go for some soft-serve ice cream, that I knew where a Mr. Softee truck could be found. At that, he threw his napkin down on the table, reached into his wallet to leave some money, and walked straight out of the restaurant without a single word.”

Our eyes are all watering because we’re laughing so hard. This is the best story I’ve ever heard. She’s relentless. I almost feel bad for the poor guy.

We finally start to calm down from our fits of laughter, as we’re getting stares from the other customers in the restaurant from all of our cackling. I turn to her and rub her back. “That sucks, Cass. Sorry you didn’t get to have a good evening.”

“What do you mean? Of course, I had a good evening. I got to make fun of that idiot for half the night. He paid for a really nice meal. After he left, I got up and sat at the bar. The twenty-eight-year-old, hot as sin bartender told me that he overheard our whole conversation, that he thought I was hysterical, and that he would never havesoft issueswith a woman like me. I ended up going home with him and rocking his world all night long.”

She throws her hair back, sips her martini, and finishes with, “All’s well that ends well, ladies.”

My girls and I stare at her. Just when I think Cassandra can’t possibly shock us anymore, she does. I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s been doing it for thirty years.

Reagan holds up her glass of wine in toast. “To Aunt Cass, my idol.” We all smile. “You have filled these Sunday night dinners with endless laughter for the past three years.” Cassandra winks at her.

“To Aunt Cass,” we all say.

“Thank you. I try to keep you all entertained.” She takes another sip of her drink. “By the way, I won’t be here next Sunday. I have to leave that afternoon for a week of meetings in San Francisco.”

The girls all frown at that. I jump in a bit reluctantly. “Actually girls, Jackson has invited the four of us to a barbecue at his house next Sunday. His three sons will be there as well. Are you guys up for that?”

Skylar responds first. “Wow, Mom. Are you guys that serious already? Having all of your children meet seems pretty serious.”

“You should have seen them on the dance floor on Friday night. Seemed serious to me. It was like watching live porn.”

I give her a nasty look. “Thanks, Cass.” I turn back to the girls. “It was not porn. We kissed on the dance floor. I told you, he’s very affectionate and seemingly unbothered by a little PDA. It’s harmless.”

---