Page 14 of Knight

“God damn it! You’re not cheating on Scott. I love you, but Scott’s dead. He’s been dead for three years. Your vows weretill death do us part. Your conscience is clear. You’re forty-eight years old. You’re not a high school kid with rules about how far you should go and when. If you want Jackson, take him. Fuck his brains out. Your body must be starving for it at this point.” I think it is starving for it.

“Up until three years ago, you were the most sexual person I had ever met. And that’s saying a lot coming from me. You could barely go twenty-four hours without it. I miss that Darian. I miss talking to her. I miss hearing her laugh. I miss hearing about her sexual escapades. I promise you that Scott would not have wanted you to become an agoraphobic nun. He’d want you to be happy and living life. If it’s permission you need, I’m here giving it to you. If it feels good, do it.”

I’m such a mixed mess of emotions right now. In my head, I know she’s right. I look down for a moment and then back up. “Maybe. I’m trying to wrap my mind around the possibility. The fact that I’m even considering it is progress, isn’t it? Baby steps, Cass.”

I lay back on my pillow and take a deep breath. We lay in silence for a moment. Eventually, I turn back to her. “Sorry I cock blocked you last night. How was the date otherwise?”

“You didn’t cock block me. We just had sex in the alley outside the restaurant after I told him I didn’t have time to go back to his place. It was actually pretty good. I’m always up for some hot alley sex. I have it on video if you want to watch it.” We both start laughing hysterically at that.

“Your whole video thing is weird. I don’t get it. How often do you even watch them?”

“All the time. It helps me work on my technique.” She managed to say that with a serious face. We laugh again.

“You must be an expert by now then. I don’t need to see it. I would be okay watching people fuck in an alley, but I think I’m set on watchingyoudo it. I’ve caught the live show one too many times.” I’ve caught the live show a hundred too many times.

“Whatever. Our bodies are made for pleasure, Dare. I like to feed the beast. You used to as well. Time to wake up out of your self-imposed coma.”

She’s right. I need to move forward. I sit up and turn to her. “Help me pick out something sexy to wear tonight.”

She smiles. “That’s my girl.”

* * *

It’s6:45 and I’m ready for my date. Cassandra made me go out and get everything waxed, bleached, nipped, tucked, and everything in between,just in case.

Jackson texted during the day to let me know I could be casual. I was perfectly fine with jeans and a sweater, even a tight sweater, but Cassandra was a hard no on that. She said that sexy and flirty were a must for a first date with a man that I know I’m attracted to.

I’m in a plaid pleated skirt. It’s a bit short for a woman my age, but I do have long skinny legs. So here I am, in a school-girl-looking skirt, with knee-high boots, and a very tight v-neck sweater that more than shows off my ample breasts. If I wanted to conveyslow it down, this isn’t the outfit for that.

I’m downing my second glass of liquid courage when I decide to go get changed. I can’t wear this ridiculous outfit tonight. How do I let Cassandra talk me into this shit?

Unfortunately, before I reach my bedroom to change outfits, the doorbell rings. Shit, it’s too late to change. Here we go.

I go to the door and open it. Jackson is standing there with flowers, wearing dark jeans, a black v-neck shirt, and a blazer. He literally looks like he just walked off of a modeling runway. He’s so damn handsome. He scans my body and smiles. When his eyes re-find mine, I breathe, “Hey, Jackson.”

“Hey, sugar.” He smiles warmly, wraps one arm around me, and bends down to kiss me on the lips. It’s closed mouth and soft. “You look stunning. I’m not sure we’ll make it out of here for dinner.”

I glance at him. “We willdefinitelybe making it out of here for dinner. Don’t worry about that.” Yep, I could totally see not making it out of here. The chemistry I remember from last Friday is still here.

I blink my eyes and redirect, “Are these flowers for me?”

“They are.” He hands them to me. They’re tulips, which are my favorite. That’s not a normal date flower. Clearly, he’s done his homework. I may have to inquire about that, Cassandra.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you. Let me put them in a vase and we can go.” I walk into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it with water. He follows me inside and into my kitchen. He looks around.

“Your place is really nice. The open modern layout is great. I’m seeing it in all of the new properties right now.”

“Thank you. I moved here about a year or so ago. I needed a change of scenery.” He nods in understanding.

The truth is that being in the house that I shared with Scott became unbearable. Too many memories and too manywhat ifsfor me in that house. Finding him collapsed in our family room didn’t help matters either. I couldn’t even go into that room for months. Everyone seemed to agree that I needed a fresh start somewhere new that he had never lived. It took me a while to agree, but I finally did.

After I finish with the flowers, he takes my hand, “Ready to go?”

I smile at him. “Yep, let’s do it.”

The conversation in the car is easy. He fills me in on his trip to New York. He’s developing some properties up there. He tells me how Trevor has always wanted to live in New York City, so he’s trying to build a portfolio up there for Trevor to eventually manage, after he finishes his degree and learns the business. He’s obviously a thoughtful father.

We walk hand in hand into the restaurant. I’m surprised to see that it’s actually a bit of a hole in the wall, but when we walk all the way in, I’m taken aback. It’s so charming. It’s dark with a small stage. It looks like an old-school comedy club.

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