Page 59 of Knight

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I’ve got to start cooking. I can’t seem to do it though. I can’t find the motivation. I don’t think I’ve showered in a few days. I’m officially a disaster.

I hear the front door open. I really don’t want any company right now. “Mom, are you here?” It’s Harley. She walks into my room and sees me curled up on my bed. “Mom, you’re a disgusting mess.”

“Lovely to see you too, honey.”

“I’m not letting you get away with this self-loathing again. You can’t stay in this bed all day every day. I brought someone with me.” Jackson walks into my bedroom with his head down. He looks as bad as I do. Maybe even worse.

“I’m locking you two in here until you work it out. Whatever it is, kiss and make up. You’re both miserable. The six of us can’t take it anymore. And a shower wouldn’t kill either of you.” She closes the door. A few moments later I hear my front door close as well.

He slowly takes off his shoes and crawls into bed with me. He pulls up close behind me and wraps his arms around me. “I miss you, sugar. I need you.”

I miss him too. I start silently crying. I know he can feel me shaking. “Don’t cry. Please. I can’t stand it. What can I do to make this better?”

I’m silent for a moment before I start speaking. “You hurt me, Jackson. You promised honesty. You just disappeared on me without any explanation. What would have happened if I didn’t come over that day? What if something happened to you? I couldn’t have handled it. I can’t lose the man I love again. I can’t go through it. It would break me.” I hear him gasp, and I feel him tighten his arms around me.

Oh shit. I just told him that I love him. I didn’t mean to. I close my eyes in regret.

“You love me?” I don’t respond for a few moments before I slowly nod my head in confirmation. He pops his head up and kisses my cheek. “I love you too.”

“I know. You already told me.”

“When?”

“When you were drunk. Right before you felt me up, told me how much you love my boobs, and that you want to live in them.”

I can feel him shaking with laughter. “It’s true. I do want to live in them.” He squeezes me again. “It’s also true that I love you.”

I sigh. The simple fact is that I do love him. I do want him in my life. “Jackson, if we’re going to do this, you need to promise me that you won’t disappear on me and hurt yourself again.”

“I promise.”

“Seeing you passed out on your floor almost destroyed me.”

“I get it. I’m sorry. It will never happen again.”

“Jackson?”

“Yes.”

“We both smell. Let’s take a shower.”

I can feel him smiling. He knows he’s got me. “Okay.”

We get up, quietly undress each other and get in the shower. He cleans me, I clean him, and then we slowly make love and need to clean each other all over again.

* * *

It’s Thanksgiving morning.Since it’s only him and his boys, and me and my girls, which of course includes Cassandra, we decide to consolidate and have one big Thanksgiving celebration at his house.

He had hired someone to cook, and considering the emotional toll of the past few weeks on me, I’m okay just playing football, watching football on TV, drinking wine, and relaxing by the fireplace.

We decide to switch families for the football game. I’m with his boys and he’s with my girls. Cassandra prefers to cheer from the sidelines, as does Payton’s wife Kylie.

I hate when women sit on the sidelines. I’m proud that my girls are always willing to play, even if I get a little competitive at times.

Reagan looks at Jackson. “Have you ever seen Mom play sports? She’s crazy competitive. She’s going to turn this into a blood sport. Watch your back.” I laugh. There may be a little truth in that statement.

Trevor high-fives me. “Don’t let them get in your head, Darian. I’m happy to finally have a teammate who cares about winning as much as I do. Stay focused.”

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