Page 42 of Knight

He rolls his eyes. “I should have known Cassandra was involved. Where’s there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Nelson?

“It means she’s trouble and I don’t want her dragging you down into her debaucherous world. You’re too good for that, Dare. You’re not a slut who sleeps around like she is.”

I’m getting mad. “Don’t disrespect my best friend. Who she does and doesn’t sleep with is none of your concern. It has no bearing on her as a person. There’s no better friend on this planet. No one has been there for me more in the past three years than Cassandra. Is she a little unconventional at times? Yes. But she’s been there for me when I’ve been at my lowest and she loves me. She only wants me to finally start to heal and move on.”

“I want that too, Dare. I want you to heal and move on.” He stares at me for a moment. “But I want it to be with me.” I’m stunned into silence. “If I knew you were ready, I would have asked you out. I’ve waited for twenty-eight years for you to be available.”

What? I’m staring at him in disbelief.

He continues, “When Scott and I were in business school, I was with him the night he saw you in the library. You were so young, only twenty, and so damn beautiful. I went with him to that library every night for two weeks waiting for you to come back so that asshole could ask you out. The fact that he saw you two seconds before me is my biggest regret in life. It should have been me.”

I’m getting angry. “Don’t disrespect Scott by calling him an asshole. He wasn’t an asshole. He was your best friend. You’re the asshole right now.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” I’m not going to tell him it’s okay because it’s not.

I can’t handle this. “Nelson, I need to go.”

“Go out with me.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m seeing someone.”

“It won’t last. This guy is a player. I can tell. He’s no good for you.”

I feel the tears welling in my eyes. “He’s not a player. Even if he wasn’t in the picture, it would still be no.”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see you that way. You’re Scott’s friend and you’re an extension of him. He saw you as a brother and so do I. I would never do that to Scott.”

Nelson goes to grab my arm. I pull my arm away. “Get off me. Don’t touch me.” The tears are rolling.

I hear Alan yell from the front door. “Get the fuck off of her, Nelson!” He comes out and pushes Nelson away from me. “Get in your car and go home, Nelson. You need to cool off.”

He steps back. “Fine. Whatever. This is bullshit. You’re all fucking in love with her. I’m just the only one with the balls to admit it.”

I’m again stunned into silence. I have no clue what’s going on. I don’t think I can stand anymore. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I sit on the front steps and start crying. Nelson gets in his car and drives away.

Alan sits down next to me. “I’m sorry that happened, Dare. I’m sorry he said what he did. I’m sorry he touched you. He knows better.”

“Alan, I don’t even know what just happened.”

“Dare, Nelson has been in love with you for twenty-eight years. We all knew it. The she-devil knew it. Sweetie, Scott knew it. Scott and Nelson fought about it many times over the years. You had no idea?”

I shake my head no. “Scott never told me. I… I didn’t realize any of this.”

“No, why would he. I get it. Scott wasn’t as insecure after you guys got married, but those first two years when you were dating, Scott was terrified that Nelson would steal you away. They came to blows at least a dozen times in those two years. There’s a reason you’ve never been allowed to be alone with Nelson. Scott wouldn’t allow it. He and Nelson got into so many fights over you throughout the years. More at the beginning, but they’d still happen from time to time when he’d catch Nelson staring at you.”

What the fuck? How did I miss this?

Tears are free falling from my eyes. I eventually croak out, “What about what he said about the rest of you? Is that true?”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know, Dare. They don’t make many women like you. You’re like this completely perfect woman. No woman can hold a candle to you. It’s probably why we’re all so fucked up in our respective relationships and none of our marriages lasted. None of us could find anyone in your ballpark.”

---