Page 10 of A Knotty Bond: The Claiming of Cadence

Her hair was lank and dull, and it had lost almost all its color. Her skin was sallow, her cheeks sunken, and there were dark smudges beneath her eyes like she wasn’t sleeping well. She looked at least ten years older than she was, and pain bit through my chest at the life she’d missed out on. If we hadn’t lost Daddy, she’d still be a vibrant, healthy woman, with years ahead of her, instead of the shrunken shell who was so fragile we worried she’d crumble at any minute.

And turning into her was my biggest fear about being with Leo.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him.

Want him.

Lovehim.

It was that I was scared to bond with him and have him ripped away, then instead of dying with him, be stuck, a burden to someone else.

My breath caught, a sob threatening to rip free. I couldn’t even explain to Leo that this was the problem, because no one who hadn’t been in this position would understand that that was a worse fate than death. To slowly waste away, forgetting the one you loved, losing the will to live, but having to keep existing with the pain of knowing you’d lost something vital.

Momma shrieked as Michael laid cards on the table, startling me.

“There’s no way! You’re such a cheat, just like your father.”

The words were said with a laugh, but I watched as her features went slack, her jaw dropping as her eyes rounded. Michael’s expression turned to panic as he tried to come up with a way to head off what was coming.

I rushed forward, moving into Momma’s field of vision.

“Hey, are you playing Rummy? Can I play?”

I slid into the seat at the end of the table, picking up the cards and starting to shuffle them.

“I was about to go to the store, but I’d rather play cards. Michael, why don’t you go and grab something for dinner? Momma, is there anything you need him to pick up?”

They both stared at me in silence for a moment before Momma’s brows pinched and she looked towards the kitchen.

“I’m almost out of flour, and I think the milk’s gone bad.”

I nodded, glancing up from the cards to look at Michael.

“Think you can handle that?”

I’d been trying to think of a way to give him a bit of a break, and while I usually did all the shopping, he had a debit card connected to my account for when he needed to put gas in the car, or in case of emergencies. It wasn’t the break I’d wanted to give him, but at least he’d be able to get out of the house and relax after the near miss.

“I—I guess.”

He stood slowly, still giving me a confused look, but I could see the relief behind it. I’d managed to distract Momma, but he knew as well as I did that it would be best if he was out of sight for a while so there wasn’t as much risk of her remembering.

I hadn’t told Michael, but her doctor had warned that he might become a trigger for her as he aged and looked more like Daddy. It was another reason I insisted he go somewhere outside the city for college instead of staying home and taking classes. It would break his heart if he figured out that just the sight of him could cause Momma more pain.

The smile I’d plastered on felt brittle, but I kept it in place as he left the kitchen and I slid into his spot across from Momma. Her head turned to frown after him, so I started dealing the cards, snapping them on the table so it would draw her attention.

“Do you want to play Rummy, or Texas Hold’em?”

She scoffed as she picked up the cards.

“You know I’ll kick your butt at Rummy. What are we betting?”

“Hmm. How about loser does the dinner dishes?”

She chuckled, moving cards around in her hand as I picked up my hand.

“You’re on.”

Chapter Six

---