Page 61 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

“You’ve been through it,” I say as I sit in the chair closest to the couch.

“You have too, apparently.”

I wave my hand toward him. “We’re not talking about me. You first.”

“God, it was just awful. She showed up at the house and then Harley and Amy came home within ten minutes and–”

As he babbles, I imagine the horror in Harley’s eyes when she saw her mother again for the first time. I hate that I wish I could reach out and speak to her. Hold her in my arms. Comfort her.

Good lord…letting her go is going to be hell.

“It’s so fucked up, Grant,” Kent mutters, his knee bouncing. “I’m so fucked up.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Iam,” he says firmly. “I’m–I’m so screwed up. Because…because…” He looks up at me, eyes glossy. “Grant, when I saw her at the door, I felt like I used to.”

Oh no.

“It has never gone away. Ten fucking years and I still–” He closes his eyes. “Love her.”

The way his voice comes out, strangled and pained. It breaks my heart. “It’s only natural, Kent.”

“No, it’s not. She betrayed me. She left me and our children and–”

“Exactly. Your children, Kent. She’s the mother of your girls. Of course, you still love her.”

Kent shakes his head. “I’ve imagined this day. I’ve…” He chuckles sadly. “I’ve dreamed about it. Her coming back to me. But this isn’t what that is, is it?”

With Malcolm back in the picture, no, definitely not.

“She has a wedding ring now. They’re fucking married,” he says and kicks the coffee table.

“Easy, Kent. Easy.” I can’t imagine how complicated this must feel for him. The dissonance inside. To be so heartbroken by Aileen and yet to still want her.

He crumples back into the couch and looks up at the ceiling. “Why doesn’t it ever get easier? This is supposed to get easier.”

“Yeah…yeah, it is.”

If Kent wants easier, I’m not going to make it harder. “We’re in this together, Kent.” Harley flashes through my mind. Short, blustering blonde hair, fiery brown eyes, big, gaping smile. I wipe her from the slate of my mind like I’ve done every moment of every day for the past seven weeks. But now, it’s different, because I can’t do this to my best friend. I rather hurt than cause him the pain of my betrayal. So, I have to let her go.No more, Grant. No. More.“We’re going to get through this. And…we’re going to win.”

From the look in his eyes, I don’t think he believes me.

And I’m not sure I believe myself either.

19

HARLEY

Iwake up after another sleepless night in my childhood bedroom. Dad has been very keen on keeping all of our rooms just the way that they were when we moved out, which is why there’s still a big Australian map on one of my walls with a bunch of thumbtacks pressed into cities and natural landmarks I wanted to go to. I’ve been meaning to take it down. Australia is a sore spot for me now.

Since I walked in to find my mom on the couch, I haven’t had the heart to leave Dad. Lucky for me, Dre is killing it with the show, and I have plenty of vacation days I can throw at this problem. Gina might be pissy with me, but my family is in crisis and I have nothing to lose when I’m now the station’s most popular property.

Amy still lives at home and can keep an eye on Dad, but I feel the need to be close to him right now too. It’s more of a selfish reason, really. I want to be supportive. But I also just want to be close to him. I’m feeling so vulnerable and small when everything inside me is growing so large. Thoughts about the future, my baby’s future, and how my life is going to shift when I become a mom are all so overwhelming.

I just need my daddy sometimes.

There’s a quiet knock at my door and I bury my head under the pillow. “Still asleep,” I groan, thinking it’s Amy trying to get me to go on another one of her morning walks.

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