Page 27 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

Interviews. I don’t know if it’s just because my mind is in the gutter or if it’s a genuinely good idea, but an interview on Harley’s show sounds like a phenomenal idea. “Public radio,” I say abruptly.

The three women all look at me like I’ve just grown a second head.

“Like NPR?” Kim asks as if NPR is a curse word.

I laugh. “Something like that. Listen–” The more I think about it, the more brilliant I feel. “A friend of mine, his daughter hosts a radio show on WQXR.Someone’s Gotta–“

“Someone’s Gotta Do It! Yes! I love that podcast. Harley Solace is an icon,” Carlyle says.

“You’re familiar with it,” I say with a lopsided smile.

“Duh. She’s amazing. Her series with that long haul trucker was like a revelation,” Carlyle adds.

I look to Resa. She’s frowning. “You think we should do an interview on a show that talks to long-haul truckers?”

“No, Resa. That’s not the point. She interviews occupations and humanizes them,” I say. “And what more do we need right now than humanization? If we give Harley–” I say her name with more familiarity than I’d like, my heart squeezing around the syllables. “Harley Solace, Ms. Solace, if we give her access to one of our actors–”

“We could even have her do it on one of the soundstages!” Kim says, grinning at Carlyle.

I’ve got the young people in the room on my side. I know Resa won’t have a choice but to agree this is a great idea now. “Yes, a week of interviews here at the studio, giving her access to behind the scenes of one of our shows and clearance to do a comprehensive interview with one of our artists, then–”

“Then we can show our moral high ground through transparency,” Resa says as if it’s a revelation.

I don’t love the sound of that, makes it sound sleazy. But if that’s what makes it work for Resa, that’s fine with me. “Yes. Exactly.”

“You might be onto something, Grant,” Resa says with a smirk and then playfully adds, “For once.”

I laugh. “Maybe.”

From a business perspective, thisisa great idea. And I can’t even say it’s selfish. Okay, maybe I want Harley to think about me, just a little. But this might give her show traffic that she’s never had before. Traffic that she deserves for her investigative work and bang-up interview skills.

I know, despite every want inside me, that I can’t have her. Never again.

That doesn’t mean that I can just abandon the thought of her. She’s an amazing young woman. If I can offer her opportunities to further her growth and to continue making her way in this world, then that’s what I’ll do.

There’s nothing wrong or dangerous about that, right?

9

HARLEY

I’m staring at my Google Calendar, wondering if I’m visibly sweating.

My guest for next week just dropped. I’ve had them on my calendar for five months now. A deep-sea fishing boat captain whose stories put episodes ofDeadliest Catchto shame.

I’ve just received a call that the drama of the high seas has just caught up with them and they’ve been hospitalized in Juneau for nearly drowning. They’re currently vacillating in and out of a coma.

Needless to say, an interview is out of the question.

And that means next week, I’m guestless.

I pull up another window, my LinkedIn page. I use that to connect with people from all different industries. More of the white-collar types. I was really looking forward to digging my hands into the fish guts and drama of the high seas.

But a coma is a coma.

I have a post typed up and ready to go as a call for interview subjects. I haven’t had to do this in over a year. My roster filled up so fast once I started the show. Guess I should have counted my blessings. I’ll post it on LinkedIn and all my social media, hoping the crazies don’t come out.

I proofread it once more, adding a comma and correcting which spelling of “here” I’ve used. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to press post. It feels like taking a step back. Asking for help once you’ve gotten a certain level of success is wrapped up in more shame than I’d like it to be.

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