Page 13 of Playing With My Fire

What the fuck?!

Chapter Four

? Estrella ?

I’m stressed the fuck out, and I can’t even explain why. For the most part, everything at home has been quiet. Almost too good to be true, but I know not to look that gift horse in the mouth. Even work was chugging along, nothing outside my realm of control. Just how I like it.

Until she started. This tiny, unassuming Asian girl who under normal circumstances wouldn’t even be a glitch on my radar. She’s not my type, not even close. I like my girls curvy, almost voluptuous with a bit of spark and sass. Not this skinny little meek hummingbird flicking around my personal bubble searching for the smallest tear to get inside.

I don’t understand it. I notice her before I even see her. I’m crazy aware of her, and always know when she’s around hovering on the outskirts. Searching. For what? I’m not sure.

She watches me all the time, and it should be annoying as fuck, but if I search the deepest recesses of my desires, I find I like her attention. I like it too fucking much, and that just won’t do. Not at all.

Never mix business with pleasure. It’s a rule I’ve lived by for over a decade, and not once have I deviated.

So, why now?

Why her?

The only thing I can do is avoid it.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

But the more I try to stay away from her, the more she searches me out. Like I’m metal, and she’s a godforsaken magnet.

For two weeks, I’ve succeeded, and then today she came so close to popping my bubble that it freaked me out. Control is the name of the game and always has been. Whether it concerns my job fighting fires or my life as a Domme.

Not once have I lost that control, not since I was a kid, and today, that all changed.

It started off like any other day. I got up early in the morning, long before sunrise, and took a shower before heading to Abuela’s Outpost. I may not be on the payroll anymore, but I help out as much as I can. It’s hard to leave the place I grew up in no matter how much I outgrew it.

I went from sitting in the back booth coloring across from my brother, Eduardo, and eventually, my baby sister, Aly. As the years passed, the activities changed, homework being the big one. Until I was running the place, giving my grandmother a break for the first time in who knows how long.

When Eduardo turned eighteen and showed an interest and the initiative to take over, I eventually loosened my reins to follow my own dreams. One forged with my best friends since childhood. Nick had been fighting fires for years at this point, and Caleb ended up following the path of a cowboy, working numerous ranches, unable to settle in one place for too long.

After I settled in at the firehouse, I realized it wasn’t enough. It took me a long ass time to realize what I needed in order to feel relief. It was the biggest goddamn epiphany when I tripped over some online porn of a woman encased in the tightest black and red lace corset with a freaking whip in her hand. And when she used it to take a man twice her size and bring him to heel, my mind was full of ideas, and my panties were ruined.

After years of exploring the many layers and nuances of BDSM, I found my niche. Yeah, I loved the control, but while I was capable of handing out pain, it wasn't what I needed. I wanted my subs under my mercy, yes, but I only want to give them pleasure. And bondage was just another way to control, to dominate in order to force all the pleasure they think they need, but can never handle. But I force them to their limits, make them scream for me to stop between begging me to keep going.

It’s the biggest high. Between that and working my way up the fire ladder, my mind is zen, and I’m happy.

Until now. Until this little hummingbird started fluttering around making me forget everything I forged. So, when Caleb asked to go to the club, it was an automatic yes. Unbeknownst to him, I was in no mood to provide the kind of torture he desperately needed.

Then, we ran into the last person I expected, but if I had been paying attention, I would’ve seen it.

“Beau.” I nod to the man I’ve never seen out of uniform, so it’s a bit of a shock finding him in the sleekest suit but roughed up with a pair of shiny black combat boots. “Fancy seeing you here.”

He offers a smirk that he’s been prone to giving me lately, and that’s when it all dawns on me.

“How long have you known?” I grit out, not liking the loss of control.

He crosses his arms over his big, muscled chest and tears his gaze away from Caleb to study me. If I was less dominant, I’d struggle under that heated gaze, but it only makes me stand up taller, able to meet his six foot two gaze head-on in my five-inch stiletto boots, and stare right back.

Eventually, he looks away with a chuckle, and a feeling of triumph rushes through me, almost eliminating my weariness.

“Not long after I transferred. Those guys like to run their mouths.”

I smirk back. “Tell me about it.”

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