Page 54 of Wreckin' Amethyst

“Carter’s real name,” I put on my best pout and fluttering lashes. It’s not Amethyst’s strong trait, but I reckon it would work if not being used on a gay man.

“No way,” Sebby bursts out laughing. “It’s not worth my life. Some secrets are destined to go to the grave.” A woman gasps nearby and without realizing how far we’ve walked, I find us standing before Charlton’s casket. Oops.

A funeral director announces the ceremony is about to begin and I’m suddenly wrapped in a pair of strong arms. Myles drags me into a seat in the front row and I groan, questioning my life choices. Sebby takes his other side and the two of us slide our hands into Myles’. A team. A unit. Something I can’t fathom feels so strong after such a short amount of time.

“I know you’d rather be anywhere else,” Myles murmurs into my ear, “but the fact you’re not means more than you will ever know.”

“I’m here for the free food,” I shrug. We share a knowing smirk as the director begins to speak, welcoming us all. The empty seat to my right is hastily taken, a heavy thigh slamming against mine by the man-spreader.

“Sorry I’m late,” Owen chuckles. I spear him with a glare.

“Let me guess – you had business to attend to?” I drawl. A term Owen uses often and I’m now sure is a euphemism for sex. He rolls his blue eyes.

“No. I had to take pictures of a beautiful girl.” Tugging on a diamond leash, Pig trots around his feet, tongue hanging out with pride. She’s in full black, a cute dress banded around her rolls which fans out into a tule tutu. The fascinator between her ears is just adorable, as is her attachment to Owen’s leg. Rubbing her face against him, his smile doesn’t lessen at the slobber or white hairs marring his suit. He’s not wearing it properly anyway – missing a tie, top button popped, and sleeves rolled up to display his brightly colored tattoos of gnarled branches amongst flowers in full bloom. If anyone could look hot at a funeral, Owen manages it with ease.

Luckily for me, the ceremony doesn’t drag on half as long as expected. Turns out, no one felt the need to give a speech, preferring to make their peace in private. Between stroking Pig and consoling Myles, we collectively bid goodbye to Charlton. My thoughts keep trying to pull me back to the funeral I witnessed from behind a tree, the goodbye I never got to give. Yet in the mist of sorrow, I have hope. I have leads, one which apparently seemed valuable to kill over. I’m on the right track. The guests stand, creating a line down the center aisle to bid their goodbyes. Here in the front row, we all remain seated.

“I should have been a better son,” Myles states, only loud enough for us to hear. I tighten my grip on his hand, looking across to the adjacent row. Between the queue, I catch Carter’s eye from where he sits among his father, Felicia and Charlton’s widow, sobbing on his shoulder. He glares at me and I give him my middle finger, licking the length of it. Myles, oblivious to it all, sighs. “I’m…struggling to remember why it shouldn’t be me in that coffin instead. At least I’d have died for the one I love.” His amber eyes seek out mine as I’m licking the tip of my middle finger, quickly retracting it.

“Myles,” I breathe, at a loss for words. I know how he feels about me; I’ve known it for a few weeks now. Yet the vulnerability in his gaze has nothing on what I’m harboring inside. He wants verbal confirmation, although I’ve been giving it to him via my actions this entire time. “I-” my gaze snags on Charley hovering near the back of the service. “I’ll catch you guys in the gazebo. I need to handle something first.” Leaping up like my ass is on fire, Pig barks at my ankles. Yeah, I know girl, it was a pussy move but I need to clear my head. Correct multiple wrongs here today.

“Hey,” I force a smile as I approach. Charley reciprocates. We haven’t had the chance to speak since I’ve been staying in Myles’ room twenty-four-seven. “Look, I owe you an apology-” Charley jumps into my arms, almost knocking us both flying. The Elites are already seated, watching on with curiosity. Sebby filled me in on Myles wanting to fire them, and how Carter has now provided them with a month’s notice. I can’t feel guilty, not when they are all worth so much more than being cleaners and fuck toys. The only reservations I still hold are what this means for Charley. Her heart was set on having a home, feeling needed.

“It’s okay Ami,” Charley’s breath fans my neck. “The girls and I found a wonderful house to share in Seattle, right beside the university of law. I have a few steps to go before then, but Myles also paid me the three month’s advance. I’m going to school.” Her face is the image of excitement.

Brushing her chocolate brown hair back behind her ears, I match her smile. A true chance at life is all Charley ever wanted, and something I haven’t been able to give her. She’s like a sister to me, but also a crutch when I needed to feel worthy. To need someone to care for. It’s going to hurt like hell, but it’d be even more selfish for me to ask her to stay.

“I’ll call when I need bailing out of jail,” I smirk. Charley laughs harder than she should, given the present tear-stricken company, and we share one last hug. Turns out it’s a day for goodbyes all round. Nothing I’m not used to and it’s what’s best for her future. Then why does my heart feel like it’s about to collapse? Opening my eyes, I know exactly why – because he’s standing beside his father’s casket, head hung low.

“Excuse me ladies,” Sebby interrupts. I scoff. He doesn’t think I’m a lady. Slinking his arm around my waist, I quickly whisper for Charley to take the duffle bag of jewels and cash from beneath the bathtub with her as Sebby tugs me down a stone path, deeper into the garden. Breaching a set of steps, I cast a glance over the weaving columns of a rose garden before entering it. Even with the upcoming frost, they bloom in all shades of red to white. One last fuck-you before being driven into wilting.

“Wait here,” Sebby orders, running back up the steps and reappearing a few minutes later with Myles on his arm. I duck my head, sensing exactly what is happening before the pair stop before me. Sebby gives a stern stare. “You helped Myles and I open up to each other. Now it’s your turn.” Then, he sits on a nearby stone bench and locks his fingers around his knees.

“Are you going to stay right there and watch?” I ask. Sebby nods. Shaking my head, I bring my attention back to Myles, and still at what I find there. The bravado has slipped, a day of grieving finally catching up with him. Not for his father, but for the chance to prove he’s the son worth being proud of. Stepping into Myles’ eyeline, he watches me blankly. Resigned to the three words I can’t say.

“Okay fine, you wanted validation for why I need you alive…well, here it is.” My hands open, but no words follow. For a woman who’s navigated through life playing various roles, relying on her quick wit and smooth humor, thoughts now fail me. I guess I should just say the first thing that comes to mind.

“There’s not much I fear in life, but I fear you, Myles,” I wet my lips. Hesitating, Myles uses one finger to lift my chin, forcing me to speak while drowning in his amber eyes. “I fear what you could do, the power you hold and the ways in which you could destroy me if I allow you to. I’m afraid to let you see what’s underneath this,” I hold up my violet hair, “in case you don’t like what you find.” The irony hits me as I remember spying on Myles’ therapy session and him saying the exact same thing. “I’ve spent my whole life running, hiding, and searching. I’ve avoided intimacy or becoming attached. And when it comes to you, I’m just scared.”

“I used to be scared too,” Myles nods, “but I’m not anymore.”

“Why?” I sniff, the rise of tears causing me to look away. Sebby clicks his fingers, forcing me to look straight back. Stepping forward, Myles’ chest blocks out our surroundings, his fingers playing with that same strand of hair.

“Because I know you, Amethyst. I know your spirit, your soul and your heart. The characters you play don’t change any of that, because their purpose is all stemmed from the same concept. You care more than you like to admit, and you love too hard to let go.”

“It sounds like you already have the answers you’re looking for,” I hedge, glad we’ve come to a mutual decision.

“You have to say it,” Myles smirks and I groan. I guess not. It’s stupid really, three little words. A singular sentiment which then means I need to live up to it. Once the words are spoken, there’s no taking them back. Opening my mouth, Myles holds up a hand. “Wait – eyes.” A groan escapes me. In a haste to get this moment over with, I turn and remove the lenses, flicking them in Sebby’s direction. Hands cup my cheeks, bringing my face back to Myles’ peering gaze. He smiles, filled with adoration I struggle to accept.

“I’ve never told you this, but your natural eyes are the most beautiful jewels I’ve ever seen. Crystalized blue, purer than any aquamarine diamond found. When I picture your eyes in my mind, I find tranquility. An endless sea where peace reigns and love thrives. I know how you feel about me, but I’m going to make you say it. Just this once, on the day of my father’s funeral.”

“Oh, guilt trip me, why don’t you. For fuck’s sake, I love you! Okay?!” I blush at the volume of my voice. Pressing his lips together, Myles fights a smile. Perhaps a laugh. All I know is he’s immensely humored right now. Well here goes nothing. “I love you more than I thought physically possible. It’s like you steal the oxygen from the room when you enter, forcing my heart into overdrive. I can’t think straight when you’re around, can’t keep up with who I’m supposed to be so somewhere along the way, my act slipped and that’s it now. This is me?! I hope you’re happy!”

Everything I said was intended to sound more like a round of insults, but Myles’ gaze softens regardless, sensing the sincerity in my words. My blue eyes are wide, cheeks flushed, and I can’t seem to stop my hands from waving around.

“I’ve never been happier,” Myles finally claims my mouth, putting an end to this cringey nonsense. I part my lips on demand, wanting his taste. His rich cologne, his eager touch. Too many emotions are congesting the air, it seems only fitting we disperse them. Curling my fingers around Myles’ belt buckle, I walk him two steps backwards before he pulls away.

“We can’t,” he whimpers, looking up to where the tip of the gazebo can just be seen on the hill above. Carter has taken control of a microphone, not-so-nicely telling the guests to take their seats for a sit-down meal. One the three of us will not be attending. I continue walking backwards, slowly lowering my ass into Sebby’s lap.

---