Page 18 of The Butler

I cut him off. I knew why he needed the job and I didn’t need to embarrass him by asking why. “You’re doing a wonderful job, Dek. I appreciate you worrying about your coworkers.”

His eyes lifted, locking with mine. It was strange to be looking at a blond, blue-eyed boy, so perfect in every way. I wanted him and this was going to be extremely difficult for me to behave. We both hesitated to speak as we were locked in an intense exchange of unspoken information.

“Why did you throw the picture of you and Troy in the trash?” he suddenly blurted.

That wasn’t the exchange I’d thought we were having. His forthright question caught me off guard. “You noticed that?”

“I’m your housekeeper while you’re onboard, Linc. Of course, I noticed it.”

“I believe we were talking about you working with the laundry department,” I said, doing my best to avoid speaking about Troy.

“You’re right. It’s none of my business.” He smiled a gratuitous smile and stepped around me. “How about we go with the red combo today?” he asked.

“It’s still raw,” I admitted. “Did you throw the picture out?”

“No. I placed it in an empty box in your closet. I’m sorry if I overstepped.”

“Why would you do that?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if I was angry or intrigued.

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” My eyes narrowed at thesirthing, but I was smirking too. “I mean Linc,” he quickly corrected.

“Please do.”

“Look, it’s none of my business, but when I found it, I thought about something my mom told me a year ago after my heart was crushed.” He watched my expression closely like he tended to have a habit of doing. Probably assessing whether I was interested in his mom’s advice. “Mom said that just because love walks out the door, that doesn’t mean they get to take the love you had for them with them. Her thinking was that the love I’d felt for him wasmylove, and it was perfectly fine to keep that inmycontrol, not his.”

His mother’s advice was thoughtful. “Meaning that even though your person leaves, you don’t need to give up your feelings for them?” I asked.

“Exactly. You can’t make them stay, but they don’t own your feelings. It took me quite a while but finally I’m starting to accept that I loved him very much. I wished I’d kept a few memories around, but I didn’t. Not to obsess over, but to reflect about my feelings.”

“I never thought of it that way,” I admitted. It was impressive to me that he had given love and heartbreak such serious thought. “This one hurt big time though, Dek. I’m still pissed off.”

“Because?” he asked.

“Because I lost two people close to me. Troy left me for one of my closest friends. I was gutted.” Talking about this with a virtual stranger and an employee should have felt out of bounds, but it didn’t. I sat on the sofa and exhaled.

“So two loves, huh?” he asked. I nodded. “Hmmm… that’s rough, Linc. Same rule applies though.”

His comment caused me to jerk my head toward him as my brow furrowed deeper than a canyon. “Seriously?” I was agitated now. “I guess I’m not a saint like you.”

“Play fair,” he said, raising a finger of warning toward me.Hadn’t Bob said and done the same fucking thing?“I did ask you for permission to speak freely, remember?” He had done that, but he couldn’t possibly know what I was feeling. “You don’t think I can relate to that level of betrayal, do you?” he asked.

Jesus! Who was this guy?“Maybe?” I whispered, guessing that I was about to be schooled again.

“My partner left me for a younger boy. I was fucking twenty-one years old, for God’s sake.Twenty-fucking-one!”he raged. Dek sat across from me on the edge of the bed. “After three years invested, I got aged out by an eighteen-year-old.”

“Yikes,” I said. Our exchange began to relax. I wanted to know the full story. “Tell me about him,” I said. “Maybe I can use some of your advice after all.”

Dek and I proceeded to talk about his professor ex and how he’d completely ignored the signs during the last summer they were a couple. I admitted that I had as well with Troy and Brock. Our chat became so involved and seemed so familiar to me. Almost as if a long-lost friend had just shown up. I went to the bar while he sat on the bed and got wine with two glasses. The roles had switched as I poured him a glass.

“I’ll get my revenge though,” I said, holding up my glass for him to agree and toast with me.

“Revenge?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a nasty word. In what way?”

“Brock Mann will never work in this town again if I have my way,” I stated, quite pleased with myself at the revelation.

“And that helps you how?” he asked, daring me to prove my point.

“It fucking helps because I’ll feel better, so fuck him!” My answer didn’t sit well with him. I could tell by his deep sigh and the way he stared at me as if he felt sorry for me. “What’s wrong now?” I complained.

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