Page 65 of The Biggest Sacrifice

My head snaps to my brother and his brows pull down. “Me?”

“Bartender!”

Al raises his hand, signaling he’s on his way to the customer but not before saying, “There’s a lot to work out, Bill, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. You’d be perfect here. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Come see me tomorrow.” He knocks on the bar top, bends down and grabs a handful of beers, placing them in front of us. Then goes off without another word to help the waiting customers.

“Did he just offer me a job?”

“I think he offered you more than that.”

We look at each other, reading each other’s minds. We always had the ability to read each other's minds with only a glance. Since I’ve been wrapped up in my own shit, it’s dwindled, and I miss it. Billy misses it, as he’s told me so. I just didn’t want him to see my mess. I know he can read me so well.

Just like I can read him so well.

“You’re not that guy anymore, Bill. This could be good for you.”

He eyes me desperately, but then breaks that contact. In its place is the look that blocks out the world from seeing his true self. From seeing the caring, intense, smart and driven side of him.

“Good for me? I don’t think so. Not good for Al, either. He doesn’t need the Baby Casanova with a rap sheet and a stint in rehab whose only job has been working for Daddy, hanging around his bar every day.”

“Bill-”

“I’m quite a catch when you say it like that. Damn, no wonder Adley loves me.” He guffaws and bumps my shoulder. “Come on, grab the beers before Jackson dies of dehydration.”

So that’s what it feels like when someone blocks you out.

Following him back to the table, I notice Cash sitting in my chair with his arm around the back of Farrah’s chair.

“Going to jump in my grave that fast, too?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Cash stops talking mid sentence and Billy snaps his head toward me. The abrupt actions from both of them draws attention from the rest of my family. It’s like I can hear the record scratch out loud. Cash stands, grabs a beer from the table and nods to the pool table. “Come with me.”

The table falls silent. I don’t miss the look of panic on Farrah’s face and I see Billy grab two beers and follow us. I ignore the open-mouthed faces staring back at me and walk away from them.

It’s what I’m good at.

“Pick up a stick and act like you’re playing.”

“The fuck? Don’t tell me what to do.”

He gets right into my face. “Want to go outside, then?”

My anger rises to the top, but Billy steps in. Quietly he says, “Don’t do this here. Not to Al.” I see him glancing around. “Back up, Cash. He didn’t mean anything by it.”

Holding his stare, I reach for the wall next to me and pull down a pool stick. “If you got something to say, you better say it fast. I’m leaving in five minutes.”

“Pull your head out of your ass, Casanova. I know you know what day is coming.”

“I know what day it is.” I grumble out. I’ve been watching the calendar creep on me faster and faster.

“Just don’t want it sneaking up on you.” He leans against the pool table, watching my every move. I feel Billy next to us, almost like a guard. I’m not too sure how relaxed we look to the outside world, but no one is coming over to us, so I’m guessing we’re disguising it.

“Can’t sneak up on me when it’s with me every day.” I look down. I can’t look him in the eye and talk about JT.

“I know you spoke with Jamie. She called me up after your visit.” He quiets his voice. “I know they’ve told you all this, Tom. You’ve got to let it go.”

Yeah right. Let it go. “I’m doing the best I can.”

“Seems you’reusingthe best you’ve got.”

At his words, I snap my head up, eyes blazing fire. I’m sure of it. Because I know what he’s getting at. “What’s that mean?”

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