Page 37 of The Biggest Sacrifice

I’m not sure how I feel about Cash being here and being a part of guys’ night. Apparently it’s been happening for the year I was gone, so it wasn’t a question that he’d come out tonight. No one told me and when I showed up and saw him already sitting here, it gave me pause.

But when I sat down at the table and everyone started in on each other like we always do, it felt normal. It felt like he belonged here and fuck me, doesn’t that thought knock me on my ass?

“So that only leaves you, Tom. You going to put a ring on it or not?” I tense at Jackson’s question. I know he means nothing by it. He’s so absorbed with his team and my sister, it would surprise me if he even noticed there was something off between Farrah and I. So, I can’t get mad at him.

“Better make it quick, Casanova. She’s not someone you want to lose.”

But I can get mad at Cash.

I feel the tension at the table thicken the moment those words leave his mouth. We just had this conversation. He acknowledged Farrah isn’t his, so him chattering like he knows something pisses me off. I grab my beer from the table and sit back in the chair, crossing my ankle at my knee. “Yeah? And how would you know that?”

He mimics my move of grabbing the beer, sitting back and crossing his ankle over his knee. I narrow my eyes at him. “Hanging with this crew, I’ve gotten to know her well during the year that you left her.”

His dig hits the mark. “I didn’t leave her on purpose.”

He shrugs, takes another pull from his beer. “No, you like to leave everyone.”

I slam my bottle on the table, and Jackson puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s just trying to provoke you, Tommy. It’s what we do.”

“Maybe you guys are used to it, but I’m not. He doesn’t know me like that and he sure as shit doesn’t know Farrah and I! We got history, new guy,” spitting the words out. “It’s something you won’teverhave with her.”

He holds my stare. “You’re going tobehistory if you don’t pull your head out of your ass.”

I jump from my chair, knocking it to the floor, ready to lunge at this fucking asshole. Billy and Jackson stand and hold me, while Adam and Bobby hold down Cash.

Cash shakes them off, but Billy won’t let me go. “Oh, emotion! Heisalive, gentlemen!” He begins slowly clapping his hands, and it makes me want to break every one of his fingers.

“Cash, man, take it easy.”

I watch as he straightens his shirt and steps around to me. “You’re pretty brave, stepping in front of me right now.”

Cash shakes his head. “You’re not gonna do shit.” He leans in close to my ear so only I can hear him. Even though my brothers are all standing right here, Cash is still trying to be discreet. My body tenses but I don’t move a muscle. “I told you, brother, I’ve seen it. I know where you’re at. And I’m here, waiting for you to talk to me.” He moves away from me. “I’m heading out, boys. Be safe.”

I watch him leave, then I watch as my brothers all watch me. I’m coming to the end of myself and Cash knows too much. But as much as I hate to say it, he’s right. So, now I man up and do what I should have done all along. Instead of the letter, tell her to her face.

CHAPTER 21

FARRAH

It’s beena long few days since I last saw Tommy. I was hoping he’d show up for Sunday dinner at his parents’ house, but I found out he was on shift. My first thought was to make a plate and bring it down to the station, but then I remembered, we’re not there anymore.

I could have done it. I could have made the first move and showed up. Showed some effort. But after being at the game, I remembered it’s not my effort that needs to be seen. He told me he was going to prove it to me. I’m not sure what he thinks he’s going to prove, but unless it comes with an apology and a change of behavior, I’m not interested.

I’ve made dinner, cleaned up and am looking forward to sitting with a glass of wine and a good book. Britt gave me a new one by Ariana St. Claire, complete with all the hot, daddy vibes. It’s a perfect story to get lost in after the long day I had, starting at the bakery and then finishing at the school. I love those kids, but they never stop. I smile, thinking about Chelsea. She’s afraid of adding another baby, but honestly, one more will not change the chaos that already goes on inside that house.

I’ve just changed into pajama shorts and a tank. I throw on Tommy’s USMC sweatshirt that is a hundred years old but still smells like him. I wore it on nights I was especially missing him being next to me. Touching me. Holding me. It helped to still have a piece of him with me, even if I was the one who cut us off. Hearing a knock on my front door, I glance at the clock. It’s almost eight. If it was one of the girls, they would just walk in. Getting up, I peek out the window. My heart races at seeing Tom standing on my front porch. I take a moment, take a breath, and open the door.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Can I come in?” His eyes sweep over my bare legs, but the small smile that sneaks out at seeing me in his sweatshirt stops my heart.

“Oh, yes, sorry. Come in.” I step back and he brushes past me. His manly scent that clings to him awakens me. The jeans and simple t-shirt he has on emphasizes his toned body and it reminds me of time well spent with him. “Did you just get off shift?”

He slows his steps, and I shut the door. “Yeah, I came from the station.”

“Everything okay?” There are some awkward pauses and I’m not sure what we’re doing here.

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