Page 9 of The Biggest Sacrifice

“I wasn’t exactly sure of the dates and I didn’t want to disappoint anyone if I couldn’t be here today.” I bend down and grab Dominic, swinging him around. “The plane slipped as it was. I tried very hard to make sure I was here.” My eyes connect with Farrah, who has finally stepped closer to the group.

I reach for her, moving Dom to my left hip. She steps tentatively into my right side and it’s awkward as fuck. I pull her in tighter. “It’s good to see you.” I kiss her temple and for her only, whisper, “I missed you.”

She closes her eyes. “Me too.” Her whisper is almost too soft for me to catch it.

“Hey man, I’m Cash O’Brien.” Farrah immediately steps away from me, as he puts his hand out to shake mine. “Welcome home.”

“Hey. Thanks.” I dismiss him quickly. I’m not here for him, but the awkwardness is not missed amongst the group.

“Well, now that your uncle stole your day, girls, how about we just sit and eat? Britt pushes through the circle, toting Francesca’s son, and taps me on the arm before she hugs me. “Good to have you home, Tom.”

“Good to be here, Britt.” I smile and reach for my newest nephew. “And who is this guy?” God, he looks just like Jackson, but has those big green eyes like my sister. He comes willingly to me and throws his little arms around my neck. I close my eyes, breathing him in.

I’ve missed so much.

My sister steps up, wrapping herself around me and her son. “This is JJ.” She smiles proudly and I look at her with narrowed eyes, then glance at Jackson who’s come up behind her.

“Damn, Gage! You love yourself that much, you had to name him Jackson Junior? Or is it Jameson Junior, after your protégé?” I raise a brow.

“For your information, your sister picked his name. I can’t help that he’s a good-looking kid who takes after his father and everyone has dubbed him with the moniker already.” He puffs his chest as he speaks and we laugh. But god, his pride is swelling for his son and it causes a slight ache in my chest.

I’d love to have a junior.

“Okay, everyone, back up. Let’s grab a seat.” Billy leans in close to me, ushering me toward the sliders again and into the house.

“What are you doing?”

He spins on me quickly. “Me? what the fuck are YOU doing?” I hold JJ and give Billy a puzzled look, but he just continues. “Bro, you’re fucking crying, for one.” I shake him off, running my hand down my face. It’s wet. What the fuck? Iamcrying.

“Yeah. Exactly.” He looks at me pointedly. “Two, you show up here out of nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re home, but why the secret?” He grabs my shoulders and looks around behind me. “Where is my twin and what did you do to him?”

“Will you stop? I just told you. I wasn’t sure of the timing, and I didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up if I didn’t make it back. You know how those planes run. I should have been home yesterday.”

“You just got in today?” He narrows his eyes at me.

“This morning, yes.” I look at my watch. “Like, three hours ago actually.”

His eyes get large. “Tom, man, I don’t know what’s up with you, but we’re going to talk about this.”

I walk back towards the door. “Nothing to talk about, Bill. I’m fine. I’m home. And it’s time to get back to regular life again.”

He eyes me. “I know you. There isn’t anything regular about this.”

“Just drop it.” I snap out. I step onto the deck through the slider and Francesca comes up to take JJ.

“I’ll feed him. You go eat. I’m sure you haven’t had a decent meal in a year.” She pushes me toward the table. The only open spot is next to Farrah. And on her other side? Cash. What a stupid fucking name.

Billy’s right. There’s nothing regular about this.

CHAPTER 5

FARRAH

Seeinghim walk through the door made my heart skip a beat. Then another. In the time since he’s been gone, I’ve been slowly trying to work through the feelings I have for Tommy. I know I won’t ever feel for anyone what I feel for him. I don’t want to, either, but the feelings I’ve been holding onto for years are slowly killing me. Before he left, I saw us living a life together. His focus is always on protecting the larger picture, but I thought that meant being a cop here in Christmas and protecting the town. I thought he was over the need to run and save the world.

I should have known better. That’s not who Tommy is. He wants to do whatever he can for people who can’t do for themselves.

Feeling I had no other choice but to end it, I did just that. We had to have the opportunity to experience life apart and attempt to move forward. The last words I sent him through text message still linger in my head. My guilt had me writing letters that I never sent. For me, it was therapeutic to write it all out, see the words, then burn the letters. I’m sure I said enough to hurt both of us for a lifetime with the few sentences I got out.

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