Page 55 of The Biggest Sacrifice

He shrugs and turns into the school parking lot. “You’re right. No one takes me seriously, anyway.”

He pulls into a space and jumps out quickly, leaving me unable to reply. It’s always been like this. He’s the life of the party, so no one considers anything Billy does as being worth anything. And that’s sad because he’s got a heart of gold and a brain for business. You’d never know, because he’d never take credit for it, but Adam swears Billy is why they have the business they have. He’s got a knack for talking to customers and making them feel at ease. And that’s a wonderful quality to have.

We walk to the field and climb the bleachers. It isn’t until we bang on the seats a bit that Jackson turns and spots us sitting here. He breaks into a smile and wanders over.

“What are you two fools doing here? Come to check out the famous coach of Christmas?” He puffs out his chest and smoothes down his shirt.

Billy guffaws. “The only reason you’re famous is because you married a Casanova.”

I bump Billy with my shoulder. “And his sister married the best realtor who also works closely with the Casanovas. Riding that name bandwagon, are we Jackson?”

“Please. Your sister was dying to become a Gage since she was twelve years old.”

Billy and I look at each other. “He’s got us there.” We both say in unison and Jackson cracks up. “Fucking twins,” he says and walks away. “Watch and learn, fellas!” he calls over his shoulder and heads back to his team.

We sit in silence for a moment, listening to the boys call out plays. Finally, I break the silence.

“Go ahead and ask, Bill. I know you’re dying to.”

I feel him shift next to me. “I’m not going to make you relive it, Tom. You told me enough, and it’s more than I’d ever wish on someone. Especially my brother.” He pauses. I wait, choking down that same fucking emotion that keeps resurfacing. “Have you told Farrah?” I shake my head no quickly, before he even finishes the sentence. “You have to, Tom. She needs to understand your connection with Cash,” he replies quietly.

“I know I do. She deserves to know. But I also don’t want her carrying it just because I can’t.”

“She’s not going to carry it for you. She’s going to walk it alongside with you.”

“She shouldn’t have to!” My anger is rising, and so is my voice. I try to tamp this down, to not cause a scene.

Billy turns to me, adamantly speaking. “No one should have to! You shouldn’t have to! But it happened. And you don’t have to keep this burden to yourself. It’s doing you no good, and it’s making us sick with worry. You’ve let Cash and I in. It’s time to let the rest of them in and let us all walk it with you. Let’s heal together.”

Letting his words wash over me, the only response I have is, “Billy, I’m not ready.”

“Tom, I love you, but you better get ready. You’re making a big show of being the super boyfriend all of a sudden, but if it’s fake news, it’s going to explode in your face.”

“Fake news? Are you fucking kidding me?” My hands tighten around the bleachers, desperately holding onto control.

“Listen to me. I know you’re sleeping with her.Again.Don’t make it all physical.Again.You have to be honest with her.” He pauses, then continues. “She told me about the nightmares, Tom. She’s not dumb. Trust her to stand with you.”

“She fucking told you?” My pulse skyrockets. I don’t like the fact that they were talking about me.

“Yes, Tom! She was scared to death! She didn’t know what to do to help you. You can’t keep this up, this yo-yo relationship. Do you remember what you said to me? Do you remember spiraling out of control, thinking you had lost her? You fucking called me from over there. You never call. So, I know, by that one phone call, exactly what she meant to you. And I think you know it, too. So stop fucking around and man up.”

I hear my twin giving it to me good, but my mind wanders back to that day months ago.

I turnon my phone and open the signal app. There are a few texts, mainly from Billy. Nothing from Farrah. I scroll through pics of my nieces and nephew quickly, looking for another group shot. Anything so I can figure out what the hell is happening at home. I pause on a picture from Mooses. It’s a closeup of Chess and Britt, sending me the middle finger, but I scroll in and look closer at the background. Farrah and the new guy are sitting at the table. He’s leaning in and she has the smile that sends me wild, strewn across her face.

They’re close. I can see it.

I’ve got to get Billy on the phone. I’m able to make a satellite phone call, which isn’t the best, but it will do for now. I listen to the slow rings, not caring what time it is back home and I just pray he picks up.

“Hello? Tom?”

“Billy! Yes, it’s me.” The line is static, but my body relaxes at the sound of his voice. I choke back the emotion that’s suddenly taken over me. It’s something I haven’t felt before. Sure, I miss my family, especially my twin, but not to the point where I have to gather myself before speaking to him.

“Bro? You okay? Why -- calling?”

“I hope you can hear me, okay? What’s going on there?”

“You’re break—up. You okay?”

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