Page 52 of The Biggest Sacrifice

“Coming!” I call out and as I get to the door, I realize if it was the girls, they’d have just walked in. So when I open the door, I’m not too surprised to see Cash standing there, holding coffee from my parents’ bakery.

I make a show of checking my non-existent watch. “You’re worse than the girls! They’ve only sent about twelve hundred texts. But you? No, you just push your way through with coffee.”

“I know what will get me through the door.” He laughs and I step aside so he can enter.

“Let’s sit outside. It’s beautiful out.”

He gives me a side glance, and a raised brow, but we head to the back deck. “Damn, it must have gone good. You’re looking to sit outside and sing with the birds?”

Slapping his shoulder, I snag a coffee from his hands. “Coffee first. Then snark.”

He falls onto my patio furniture and watches me expectantly. I slowly sip my coffee, knowing I’m killing him with my patience. I take a breath, let it out and say, “Fine, go ahead. Hit me with the questions.”

“Did you do him?”

“Cash!” I jolt at his question and just about burn myself on the coffee I’m holding.

He shrugs. “Just thought I’d lead straight out the gate.”

“You nailed it. That’s definitely a lead.”

“But did he nail it? That’s the question of the day.”

“You’re incorrigible.” I shake my head and take another sip, trying to stall for time. He continues to watch me, his smile growing larger across his face.

“Fine. Yes, we slept together.”

“Those Casanovas don’t like to waste time.” he winks and reaches out to grab my hand. “I’m sorry, I’m just messing with you. I don’t mean to intrude.”

I wave him off. “You’re fine. We’ve always been honest about it all, haven’t we?”

He smirks. “We have. Even when one of us didn’t want to hear it.”

Cash has always been up front with me. On the first day I met him, he told me I was gorgeous. He told me Tom was an asshole for leaving me. Then he said he’d do what he could to win me over. And when I had to shut him down and let him know I’d only ever love Tom, he stepped into the big brother role that I’ve been forever grateful for. It’s one thing to talk to the girls, or even Billy, but having Cash, who’s outside the situation and non biased has been a godsend.

“Cash, you saw him last night. He didn’t even flinch when you were all gathered in my house, giving him a hard time. He walked me into the restaurant proudly. We took our time eating. He gave me his one hundred percent attention, and never looked twice at those around us. Then he fed me from his fork! Cash, if you knew Tommy before, you’d know that is just something he’d never do. He doesn’t like the PDA. He doesn’t like people watching him or knowing his business. So for him to go out of his way and do all that last night, it was like seeing the Tommy I’ve always known was inside.”

“I’m happy for you, Farrah. I’m glad you had a great night and I’m glad he’s showing some emotion. But can I play devil’s advocate here for a minute? He’s running on a high. I won’t go into anything because it’s his story to tell, but his emotions are new and he’s learning to cope. So being with you, getting you, showing you off, sure it’s something he hasn’t done before, but I have a feeling he’s learning who he is. This may not last. And I don’t want to scare you or say he won’t change or put any more effort into doing right by you. I just want to warn you that I think this is a peak that will crash later, as well. In other words, it’s going to be better right now, but he’s going to get worse too, before he makes it back to being who you need him to be.”

I listen to Cash’s words. “I understand that. And thank you for looking out for me. I know you two talked. He wouldn’t go into details, but I know he’s getting there. Last night was different. It felt different, he sounded different.” I shake my head, playing with my coffee cup. “I see him coming back, Cash. And I’m going to stick it out and be that support for him.”

“That’s great to hear. Tom needs that.” He looks down at his coffee cup, then back at me. “But who’s going to be there for you? Because this isn’t a simple fix, Farrah. Tom has powerful demons he needs to come to terms with. He’ll continue using the physical to cover the emotional. I don’t want you caught in the crossfire.”

“I think he’ll tell me.”

“Thinking he will, then actually hearing it is going to be hard. I know what he’s dealing with. You need to prepare yourself. It’s not always going to be sweet dates paraded through town.”

“Paraded through town? Are you serious right now, Cash?” I’m getting a little pissed off at the direction of this conversation. “He’s not parading me.”

“You’re excited and bouncing in your seat because he took you to a restaurant in public last night, Farrah. Listen to yourself and think about that.”

I recoil from his words. He’s making me sound pathetic. “You think I’m weak? You think I’m hanging on to any crumb he throws my way?”

“I think you’re a good girl, Farrah, and loyal to a fault.”

I furrow my brows. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing.” He grows a bit agitated and stands. I haven’t seen this side of him before. Is he jealous? I thought we’ve established our relationship already. “I’ve got to go. I’m happy for you. Really. Just don’t get too happy.”

---