Page 33 of The Biggest Sacrifice

The radio goes off and I hear dispatch come across. I strain to hear, but it’s too loud. Cash answers into the mic at his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

“Problem?”

“No, just going to check the lot. Won’t be long.” He walks past everyone again and down the bleacher steps.

“You’ve got to get over that, Tommy.” Farrah whispers beside me.

I whip my head towards her. “Over what?”

“Over Cash. You’re making it weird. He’s been a good friend to me this past year.”

“I’m not making anything weird. The guy wants to fuck you, Farrah. You think that’s a good friend?”

“It’s what you did.”

I bow back like she slapped me. Again. But she’s right.

“Farrah, come on.”

“No, Tommy.” She looks around. No one is paying us any attention, but she still keeps her voice low. “Give me more or stop this altogether.” When I stare back, trying to gather words, or feelings or whatever I can muster to explain what’s running through my head, she says, “you’re scared. And I get it. Because I was afraid to. Until I decided, being afraid would only hold me back from what I really wanted. So I went for it. And I got burned anyway. But you? I think you’re scared of the way I make you feel because you don’t want to feel anything. And for being such a fearless guy, you’re letting it hold you back from something bigger. There’s so much more to life, Tommy. I wish you’d open up and let me show you.”

I want to. I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her being here tonight feels different. My affiliation with Cash is different. It’s not a jealous thing. Sure, I don’t like that he got in tight with my family. Or my girl. But tonight feels like a wake up. Her words are like a second chance, giving me that opportunity to do right by my family, since they have always done right by me.

And a chance to fix it with Farrah.

I’m pulled from my thoughts as I hear the offensive coordinator yell out to the team on the sidelines, “It’s 4th and goal, we’re going for it!”

Watching the players get into formation, I see Jackson’s quarterback walk up to the line and make adjustments. But then I see him remain in formation where he is, and the snap goes to the running back instead. Getting to my feet, I track the running back who goes left with the ball, then flips it to the tight end, who changes direction and runs right.

“Holy shit! Are they running the Philly special?”

When I see Gage’s quarterback take off for the end zone and catch the pass seamlessly, I yell out. The crowd goes wild as the Comets score a touchdown. The flags are waving, and the lights and the sounds are overwhelming right now. I don’t know why I haven’t felt this before. It’s living. I feel alive. But it’s making my heart race at the same time. How do people feel this every day?

My family is cheering and Jackson is pacing the sidelines as his team lines up for the two point conversion.

“He’s going for it?”

“That’s my man! Always looking to earn those extra points!”

A laugh builds from deep inside and bursts from my lips when I hear Francesca. She’s so in love with this guy, it’s disgusting. But when she looks back at me with that same sparkle in her eye, I realize she justloves. She shows her love in everything she does and I’ve been missing it.

I’m standing alongside everyone as Gage’s quarterback takes a direct snap and runs it into the end zone himself.

“Jesus, Gage is something else! Running the Philly Special as a high school team!” We are all high-fiving each other and cheering as Cash appears back by the bleachers. He leans over the first row with his hand in the air. Without thinking, I answer him automatically and it surprises him. It surprises me. He smirks and his eyes shift to Farrah, who is standing next to me, and he gives a quick nod. Adrenaline rushes through me at their silent exchange.

Vowing to not be passive anymore, I grab her hand and squeeze it. She turns to me quickly, shocked I’m even touching her in public. It was something I never did. Never showed PDA. I wink and say, “I’m going to prove it to you, Farrah.”

“Prove what?”

“Everything.”

CHAPTER 19

TOM

It’sSunday and I’m down at the station. I’m working a double shift, picking up hours from another fellow officer who needed to switch. When I took the shift, I was glad for the distraction and long hours that would pass the day for me. But now that I’ve had nothing on my mind but Farrah, my family, and how much life I’ve been missing, I’m mad that I’m stuck here all day.

Friday night’s game did something to me. I've been to that field countless times, witnessed thousands of games, and even sat right beside Farrah hundreds of those times, but nothing compared to that night. It felt like an awakening. A simple sentence about my family’s business was all it took to put the wake up call into motion. Then, hearing Farrah and my sister-in-law’s exchange about my nieces did something to my icy heart. And finally, having Farrah right next to me, so close yet further than we’ve ever been, finally made me pull my head out of my ass.

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