Page 26 of The Biggest Sacrifice

“The more the merrier, you hear what Janet says!”

“Okay, next topic, let’s move Chelsea from the hot seat. Farrah! You’re up!”

I groan and roll away from them.

“Nope, we want to hear it all. Word around town was that there was a minor skirmish at the bakery.” Britt raises a brow.

I shake my head, wide eyed at her. “Do you have trackers on us? Like seriously! How do you hear everything?”

She waves her hand around. “I won’t tell all my secrets, but just know, my husband is a bigger gossip than me.” She smirks.

“No way! Bobby never says a word.”

“He never says a word toyou guys.Trust me, he hearsalotand I have ways of making him talk.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“Now, come on, spill. Tom is losing his mind over Cash, isn’t he?”

I hate this. I don’t want them talking badly about Tom, but I also need to get all this bullshit off my chest. “He’s certainly not happy about him. And he just found out Chief Hunter is keeping Cash on the force.”

“Really? Cash is staying? That’s great!”

“I know. It is great. I really like Cash, as a friend,” I quickly add, “and he’s super happy to be here. He told me this is the exact place he was hoping to end up in. A small town with fierce friends and family. I think he’s missing his family back home. I know he’s gone through something rough, but he hasn’t given specifics. He's probably feeling awkward with Tom's return and now they have to work together. And Tom has not been very welcoming.”

“Of course he isn’t welcoming. He thinks the guy is moving in on his territory.” Britt scoffs and takes a large sip.

“He kind of is.” Adley mimics.

“But it’s not Cash’s fault. Tom needs to stop all this running. He needs to stay here and build the life he wants here. With you.”

I look at Chess. “I feel he only wants that life now that he knows someone else will give it to me.” I take a breath and dive in. “He wouldn’t ever commit. He never spoke the words to me. Never wanted to make it official. We were just considered a couple because we were always together. But…” I trail off. This is embarrassing and I don’t want to out Tom either.

“But what?”

“He never said he wanted me exclusively. He never said it’d be us forever. He never even told me he loved me. For three years to the outside world, it’s been Tom and Farrah. We look like a great couple, right? He was always coming by for coffee. I would stop by the station with dinner. People would see us out together. But behind closed doors, it was just sex. I was an outlet for him. And I let that happen because I thought the more I gave of myself, that maybe he’d eventually give a little of himself back to me. But I got nothing. And it’s been exhausting and humiliating.”

The tears come like a river. I can’t stop them. Everything has come to the surface. My words to Tom at his house replay in my head. I’m finally standing up for myself. And now I’m letting the girls in, too. It feels good to talk about it. To air the dirty laundry, but now what? Where do I go from here?

“Oh my god, there are too many tears for a girls’ night! Quick, fill her glass!”

I smile at Britt, but the tears keep rolling. “I love him. I really do. I just can’t feel like the side piece anymore.”

“Don’t you dare call yourself that! You are not his sidepiece. You are the only one who understands him, Farrah. He’s just afraid.”

“I know something happened all those years ago, when he came home from active duty. And if he can’t ever talk about it, it’s fine. I don’t have to know that side, but he has to give me something. He’s so closed off.”

“Honestly? I think he’s at the end of his rope and I don’t mean that in a bad way. Look at how different this last deployment was for him. He came home earlier than usual. He didn’t call, didn’t look for the big welcome home party. And when Billy gave that speech? He was crying, Farrah. I know he’s different. Just hang on. I know the real Tom is in there. The Tom you need, that we all need, he’s coming back. He just needs time.”

I shake my head. “I’m just about out of time, Francesca.”

How do I get over him? How do I let this die and let it go when it was never really mine to begin with?

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CHAPTER 16

TOM

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