Page 18 of The Biggest Sacrifice

He rolls his eyes at me. “I’ll bet my next paycheck his brothers have been keeping him apprised of our situation.” I shake my head, but he continues. “Farrah, it’s not about telling him to stop doing what he does. I don’t think you’d ever do that. But itisabout expressing what you need to feel whole in your life. If he can do both, fine. But if he can’t give that to you, someone else should be given that opportunity. You deserve that chance. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about asking for it.”

I nod. “I know.” I want it from Tom, though. I lean towards him, my chin on my hand, and watch him as he speaks.

“I watched him last night. There’s something going on inside him he’s letting dictate how he lives. I’ve seen that pain, experienced it myself, so I know he’s trying to hide it.” My heart clenches at his words, but he moves on quickly, not allowing me to ask. “And after Billy’s speech, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already got the idea of getting out rolling around in his head. Which, of course, is making him hold even tighter to controlling his surroundings. ”

I furrow my brows. “Making that decision on his own is only going to make him spiral more. I wish he’d let me in.”

“Farrah, there needs to be balance between you both. A give and take so that it works for both partners.” He pushes the hair behind my ear and lets his hand linger on my back. “You need to be heard, just as much as he does. If he isn’t letting you in, it’s not an equal partnership.”

I close my eyes.

A sudden bang on the window jolts us both from our chairs. When I look to see what made the noise, I see Tom’s wild eyes staring back. But he’s not looking at me. He’s glaring at Cash.

“Oh, God.” I whisper out. “Don’t cause a scene in the shop. Please.” I beg Cash. We both stand and he quickly heads for the door, only to be met by Tommy walking in. They stop and have a standoff, inches apart. To other customers, it looks like they’re having a quiet conversation. And since the town knows they are both cops, I’m hoping they believe it’s just police business.

I see Tommy’s lips moving, but I’m too far away to catch any words. He walks past him, bumping him hard in the shoulder, and heads straight for me.

“Farrah.” Cash calls my name, but I can’t look at him. Tommy has me locked in a stare that I know if I was to break right now, would break him.

“It’s fine, Cash. I know you’re on shift. We’ll talk later.” I keep my voice calm and as even a tone as I can.

But Tommy’s eyes have ignited the fire inside my body. I know this look. I know exactly what’s going through his head right now.

“No, you won’t be talking to him later.” He speaks in a low raspy tone, only for me to hear. “Get your coffee, pretty girl. You’re leaving.”

I blindly reach for it, afraid to break the eye contact that he still has ahold of me with. He grabs my hand and turns, dragging me behind him. We walk onto the sidewalk; the sun making my eyes squint. He pulls me to his truck, never letting go of my hand. Opening the passenger door, he helps me in, shuts the door and I watch him quickly move around the front of the truck and into the driver’s side.

“Seatbelt.” He barks.

I put it on and as we pull away from the curb, I see Cash standing there watching the entire interaction. All I can do is drop my eyes from him. I want to feel embarrassed I was just manhandled in front of the town, and him, but I don’t. I need this emotion from Tommy as much as he needs to let it loose.

Now if I can only get him to use his words, as well.

* * *

We pullinto the driveway of his home, the garage door going up, and he drives in. He turns off the truck, and it becomes dark as the garage door closes behind us. We sit in silence for a moment, the engine ticking as it cools off, mixed with our breaths, being the only noise right now. I’m thankful for the privacy. I don’t need the entire Casanova family to know what’s about to go down. Because one way or another, there’s going to be yelling.

“I need you to come inside with me.”

“Okay.”

He jumps from the truck and I wait as he comes around to my side, knowing he needs to take the lead right now. He opens the door, grabs my hand and leads me into the house. We walk down the small hallway that opens up into his kitchen. He leads me through it, past the living room and to the hallway that leads to his room. Just as I think he’s going to pull me to his bedroom, he stops short, pushing me against the wall.

Covering me with his body, his hands land on the wall, on either side of my head. His eyes stare into mine with a look of wildness.

“Tommy.”

“I saw him holding your hand.” His lips draw into a straight line. He leans in, inhaling my scent as he nuzzles my neck. “Touching your hair.” His left hand moves to my throat and gently cups it. “I didn’t fucking like it, Farrah.” His grip tightens.

“He’s only a friend, Tommy.”

“Bullshit. I see how he looks at you.”

“But do I look at him that way?” I need him to understand whatever he thinks he sees is not reality.

He brings his head up, looking me in the eye. His eyes dart around my face, to my lips, and back again to meet my eyes. I can feel the love and reverence in them, so why can’t he just say those words? With one hand left on my neck, the other slides down my chest, in between my breasts, over my stomach until he hits the band of my shorts. He toys with it, that smile beginning to show on his face until suddenly he slides his hand inside both my shorts and panties and into me. I gasp at the intrusion, but then melt onto his hand.

His head falls forward and our foreheads rest against each other. “Fuck. I’ve missed you so much, little mouse.”

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