Page 42 of How Much for the Whole Night?

We had to move on.

“What kind of adventure?” Ben asked with caution and shot a quick look my way. I tried to be encouraging and smiled at him, but he frowned, and then the frown turned into fear as he read way too much into the pause. “I’m not going back to Mom, am I? I don’t want to. Dad?”

I gripped his hand and pressed a kiss to Ben’s head.

“Of course not,” I reassured him.

There was a genuine fear in Ben at the idea of going back to be with his mom. She lived with Rouxier in his sprawling property, and we’d talked little about his time there before Sanctuary had delivered him to me. I know Ben was confused over his mom, and even though I’d broached the subject of her a few times, he gave the impression that he was happy away from her and the house, and then he changed the subject. I wasn’t sure I was being the best dad when accepting his choice not to talk about it, but right now I wanted him to be happy and didn’t want to poke at the darkness if I had to.

Ben didn’t talk much about his mom, or the man she was marrying, but I knew in my gut he was happier here than he’d ever been there. I’d seen it before when he’d come to stay with me—the nerves and worry about going home to his mom were obvious, but I had no choice but to drop him off. Then, when Rouxier had suggested Ben was better off with them and had triggered the custody battle, I knew I had to get him back.

And then I’d fucked it up.One night and now we were in this mess. Or we were safe, and I’d done the right thing. Who the hell knew what was right anymore?

“You’re not going back to your mom.”

He cuddled into me. “I’m glad.” Then went quiet for a while. “Should I feel bad that I don’t want to see her? Do you think she misses me?”

I didn’t know how she felt. She’d changed since we’d done our thing, and she acted as if Ben was a burden she didn’t want. “Of course, she does,” I lied. “But she loves you and she wants you to be safe here with me.” I began with as much honesty as I could. “Anyway, she knows you have more fun with me.” I ruffled his hair, and he glanced up at me. “So, you’re stuck with me. Is that okay?”

“Sure, Dad.” He buried his face against my chest and mumbled some words, and I eased away so that I could hear. “But you won’t take me back to the big house. Anywhere nearhim. Promise me, dad.”

My heart broke at the fear in my son’s tone, and I wrapped my arms around him. All the laughter and relaxation I’d seen in him as he’d discussed math with Beckett had slipped away.

I exchanged a glance with Beckett. He nodded, then murmured something about coffee and left Ben and me alone together.

Now was the time for honesty—at least some honesty. “There’s no way you’re going back to that house, or to your mom, as long as she stays with that man.” I couldn’t even bring myself to use his name, but Ben knew. “We’re moving from here though, to a bigger place that has horses, and dogs, and we can go hiking, and do loads of outside stuff, like a vacation.”

This time when he looked up at me, his expression had changed to one of complete trust. I wanted to say to him I would die before letting anything happen to him—the kind of dramatic announcement that might makemefeel better—but that wouldn’t reassure Ben. He didn’t deserve to think about the bad things. He deserved to be happy and safe.

We chatted about horses, and dogs, and walking in the forest, and mountains, and the best part of all of this, was that he wasn’t in school. Yes, I worried about friendship groups, and education, and all the things that a parent of a school-age kid worried about. Only, I was more concerned about keeping him safe, and that overrode everything else.

I didn’t tell him Beckett had arranged for a tutor to visit at the new place to work with him, until this was all over—no point in ruining the moment with my son, who’d fallen asleep in my arms as trusting as a new baby. I carried him to bed, tucking him in after removing his sneakers, and stared down at him.

“How did talking go?” Beckett whispered from the door.

“Yeah. It went okay.”

“Good.”

“He’s been nervous since Ethan left,” I added, and moved to the door. “I miss Ethan,” I murmured. “My head is so messed up.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Beckett asked.

I shook my head. “I hope… ”that he’s okay, safe, getting things done. I need him to come back.

For want of something better to do, I tidied the kitchen and then I followed Beckett to the comms room, reluctant to think about Ethanout there, and armed with a list of questions about the new place. Kayden was busy typing, and Beckett was staring at the screens, but they both turned to face me when I stepped inside. Kayden was frustrated and Beckett looked worried.

My heart stopped. “What’s wrong? Is it Ethan? Is he okay?”

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Kayden snapped, but Beckett placed a hand on his partner’s shoulder and squeezed; Kayden subsided whilst muttering something under his breath.

“Everything’s okay,” Beckett said. “Ethan managed to get surveillance in place before he tripped the alarm. He’s been asked to prove his loyalty, and it’s giving us a headache fixing everything that needs to be fixed.”

“What’s he been asked to do?”

“It’s difficult to explain,” Beckett began.

Kayden huffed. “It’s easy to explain.”

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